Saturday, June 24, 2006

“girl, get comfortable.. we bout to do something you neva done before, baby not the usual, tonight we gettin' unpredictable"

Last night was SO SO GOOD. Regret not taking pictures. I was having too fun a time to bother to want to record it. Made the crappy evening before so much easier to bear.

The day started out beautifully. I woke up, tottered about in my room. About an hour to noon I started to get ready. As I skipped out the door, I picked my brown folder up and placed it in the pocket of the backseat of my car just in case I needed it. When I arrived in front of his place, I just KNEW that he would still have been asleep ‘cos he probably watched the Brazil-Japan game at 3 am and would have been too sleepy to hear his phone msg beep. I msg-ed him to tell him I was coming 20 minutes before. I gave him a ring and indeed he just pried his eyes open. Sometimes I’m so astonished at how much I know him like the back of my hand. As he struggled to get into my car, he complained about how early I was. He did mention his appointment was at 1pm. It was as if Wednesday didn’t happen. Things seemed so normal.

We arrived pretty early and he was second in place to meet the orthopaedic surgeon. The nurse praised him for being so fortunate to be early and scoring such a good position. He then praised me for his fortune. I liked it.

The time in the hospital was nice. Again, the flirtation!! I admit I loved every minute of it. I liked the idea of being his girlfriend. I liked it a lot. I didn’t understand a lot of things: the way he stroke my hand, the way he sometimes looked at me, the way he touched my legs, the fact he wanted to sit beside me, the way he does little scratches on my arm (he had hives all over from a food-allergy reaction: he looked so f*cking funny it was just amusing to look at him scratching himself red)… why was he doing all that?? But of course all these hooked me on even more. I was ready to send him home but he suggested lunch so we went for lunch. I took him to Dragon-I in 1Utama ‘cos he’s never been there. He was peeved they didn’t have a smoking section. I always find that he looks most hilarious when he’s peeved. I told him the whole TGV/GSC anecdote. He found it pretty comical. He then proceeded to suggest we watch a movie that evening. Half of me was worried that I couldn’t get ready in time for the Guinness Black party that night but the other half was willing to f*ck it off to spend more quality time with him. Why is he suggesting a movie? I didn’t think of it then but I’m thinking of it now. Is it possible that he’s starting to get addicted to my company too? In the end, GSC kept being engaged. I think it must have been a sign for me to go ahead with the pre-party primping instead.

As I drove him home, I wondered whether I should go ahead and go with the declaration plan or just let the day end perfectly as it is.

"Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you What I feel about you.
Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will, For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will, For you I will, For you I will"
...Teddy Geiger; For You I Will (Confidence)...

This kept playing in my mind on repeat.
We neared his house and I figured “Ahh F*CKS IT. Let’s just get it over with.” I pulled up beside that DJ padang near his home. Reached back and pulled the folder from behind. It was beginning to drizzle and he was like, “What’s happening?? What are you doing??”
I walked over to his side of the car. As I stood outside his window in the start of a light drizzle, I took the deepest breath I could and *gulp*…

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