Monday, September 17, 2012

love is a four-letter word, the concert

Little did I realize that I actually am quite the fan of Mraz. Mr A-Z aside, I have all the other albums and have listened to each and every one of 'em religiously. I actually had to buy ANOTHER 'We sing, We dance, We steal things'  cos I listened to the one I had to its freaking death. I mean he pretty much wrote this song for me. Literally. So you can imagine my absolute excitement to know that Mraz was in town for the new album tour!

Ayo where the hell did time go 'cos his last concert was 3 years AGO. Whaaat?? 0_0

Aisay this album is mush man. Very the blues. Pakcik Mraz is ready to settle down mah hence the vibe. Read somewhere he recently proposed to his long-time girlfriend (also a singer but not feh-mes one).

I went to the concert with Miss TanTan ' cos she was eager to watch Jason perform 'Lucky'  live along with her 2 work bosses who are mega Mraz fans. Kalah aku. I went to Stadium Merdeka in a taxi from work and arrived 2.5 hours early. Everyone in the clinic was in awe of me going to a rock concert on a week day. Woi I'm cool like that OK! So I bought a Ramly burger, 100 plus, sat on the curb.. side prophet *ahem* I digress.. and waited for the rest to arrive.

Waiting for my rocket to come.

Everyone was so young. Goodness gracious.

I bought a concert T-shirt. Original-lah apalagi. When Miss TanTan arrived, we went back to her car so I could change into concert gear! I felt like I was bloody 16 again, stripping at the back seat of the car! Just that instead of Converse sneakers I had orthopaedic shoes on! Heh. We bought the RM200+ tickets ' cos these overused 30-something knees will not be able to last the 2-hour concert without sitting down. When I was young I always wondered apart from lucky ducks, which senior citizen in hell buys those sorta tickets and where is the fun in that?? Well I know now what I didn't know then. And that geriatric fan: it's me-lah.

The concert was SUPER! It was WAYYY better than the last (more songs!) and his performance was mesMRAZing. I was so kiasu that I actually went trawling through the internet in search of his stage setlist and actually found a site that showcased setlists from his shows in Korea and China. He had a brass team and a violinist giving the whole show that ska edge. I was on my feet the entire show and how could you not be when Uncle Mraz goes," Saya berjemput anda semua untuk berdiri dan ber-rock n’ roll dengan saya!” and dove into The Dynamo of Volition. I literally went M-E-N-T-A-L and screamed my lungs out! He had little dance steps and lotsa pelvic moves (ooOOooh... did you not ooOOooh with me?? I said PELVIC... you know pelvic ooOoooh). 

We have the same t-shirt!! We must be soul mates!!

I teared when he sang my favourite song. Ok fine I teared twice. Once during 'A Beautiful Mess' and the other in '93 Million Miles'. I pretty much blacked out the crowd. It was like as if Jason was speaking to me. Indeed I had a Mrazgsm :D Mraz is my F-O-U-R letter word!

dear auntie kim: you jump i jump

Auntie Kim is BACK! It's been awhile since this, this and that. No questions mah, mah no answers-lor.
Anyhooters, turns out this girl msg-ed me on Facebook in March this year but got sent to my spam cos she was not on my friend list. Just found it as I was clearing my inbox today:

Natalia (name changed to protect her privacy):
hi auntie kim... i came across your blog recently when i was googling *bleeep* hospital...

my boyfriend is currently working in o&g posting as a HO in the same hospital. i just wanna understand the current situation in the posting as i couldnt understand his work load and hectic-ness. he completed paeds and surgery posting so far.

1. which is the hardest posting in the hospital?
2. is it so tiring & DEPRESSING during tagging?
3. how is o&g in *bleep* overall? is it stressful?
i hope to hear from you soon because even im depressed. :(frown
thank you so much.
Dear dear Natalia,

So sorry for such a delayed reply. I've only found this as I was clearing out the spam inbox. I do believe it may be too late to discuss this as he's probably done with the posting but I'll just try anyways.

 I would believe during my time, medical was the most difficult posting for me as it was my first posting and we were such freshies. The downside of being an Indon grad is that people pretty much have a stigma against you and it was a struggle to get someone to teach us the ' right' way at the time. We had to suffer some verbal torment as a result. I'm unsure how the situation is like there now as all the MO-s and specialists during my era have transferred. Also the housemen ratio has increased so much since. We used to have a ratio of 1 ho : 40-60 patients. Now it's pretty much 1 ho : 5-10 pt. Still tagging is essentially tagging and it's the crappiest part of being a houseman. It's 2-3 weeks of doing every other day oncalls (if this system still applies) which literally mean you start work at 6am and finish work the next day at 5pm. You do whatever chores that is needed like laundry, chatting with family, dinner etc then sleep and the next day the cycle repeats itself. Most of the time when you are tagging you're the scum of the workforce hierarchy so you get weekend calls and public holidays. If somehow or rather you've pissed your MO off, you get crappier / heavier workload than others. You may think it's unfair but that's how life works in general. It's slightly amplified in medicine because the pressure is high and perfection is required when it comes to dealing with people's lives. It is very tiring because you pretty much have to stay awake and alert for 36 hours or more. Small mistakes = BIG punishment. It is depressing because life pretty much revolves around work and trying HARD to not get into trouble. Also you hardly get any respect from patients, staff, colleagues / bosses and even the cleaners! Heh. It really screws the entire american dream about being a doctor.
As a doctor's girlfriend you will have to learn and practice patience. You may have to be an emotional punching bag sometimes and most of all you will expect alot of disappointments especially during festivals. If this is something you find hard to accept then.. well I need not go further. But if you feel he's a good man and you foresee a wonderful relationship with him then weather this storm. Do your own stuff when he's busy, don't get disappointed if he has to work Valentine's day, listen if he has stuff he needs to let out, bake him cookies (doctors love to eat! it's our only pleasure in life) and most of all offer him encouragement. I can't say the same for others but housemanship changed me. It made me less happy a person but a stronger one inside. You will have to accept these changes.. consider it personal growth.

I'm unsure if this is helpful but I do hope that things take a turn for the better. It's hard to be a doctor's partner (especially if you're not a doctor yourself) but I appreciate everything my then-boyfriend-now-husband has done for me during those dark times.
All the best babydoll.
Sphymo-cuff hugs and syringe kisses, 

Auntie Kimberley

P.S: Although please note that allowing him your shoulder to cry on does NOT mean he can verbally abuse you or put you down. Sorry, just had to post this footnote in. Auntie Kim heavily frowns upon abusive relationships.
P.P.S: Oh and much thanks for reading my blog :Dgrin Makes me *kembang* when readers say hi eheh!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

if you don't like your job, quit.

Did I tell you I quit my job?

No no, I didn't turn into a full-time crafter LOL although *bisou* bonbon has been very helpful in keeping me busy.

People were stunned to know I resigned. I personally didn't think I had it in me to quit my job. I had a RM1400 monthly mortgage and bills to pay. What about shopping??

The old me.

But I was fed up with it all. I was fed up with the way the Klinik Kesihatan was run, my humiliating pay, getting screwed over by colleagues / staff and having a f*cked up boss. I was pissed off that I missed so many of my Gynae appointments to cover the insufficiency in workforce. I am irritated that I'm not preggers. I was tired of b*tching about life and waking up loathing to go to work. I look at Guy and wonder how is it possible to spring up from bed every morning without fail to go to the office? There are times I literally have to pin him down from attending work when he has a fever or is too ill for work. I mean this dude seriously LOVES HIS JOB. I've never felt that: loved my job. You read all these inspirational stories of people like Steve Jobs, James Wong the ethnobotanist, MY DAD *rolling my eyes*, MY HUSBAND... damnit they all LOVE their f*cking jobs! Why don't I love my job? Now that's a million-dollar question.

I've been taking alot of leaves and MCs lately. I refused to see my friends. I was practically living in my Chatuchak harem pants and hardly ventured further beyond my security pants and work baju kurungs. I ate my pain and drowned myself in corn-fructose ecstasy. I didn't give a flying f*ck about my hair. It was the visiting signs of that bad old friend depression (visit no.1: second year medical school, visit no.2: housemanship) and I could feel the melancholy creeping in. But this time I'm older. This time I will control my destiny. This time I can take responsibility over my happiness and well-being. Like Gandalf, I stood on the cliff yelling to Balrog (the mirror image of my depression) "The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!".

I brought this issue up with Guy and my parents. Obviously the thought of passing up a stable 9-5 job seemed like THE CRAZIES to the Baby Boomers. They've lived through 2 economic downturns, working 7 days a week and sometimes more than 12 hours a day only to find their Generation X daughter, of which they've pinned their hopes and dreams into, turning into the grasshopper who sang all summer. But I can't be like them ants. I just cannot. I want more. Dddy came round to the idea in the end. Decisions always feels better when I get their nod of approval. Yalor I'm inferior like that. Then it was the husband. Since we do not the possess the comfortable RM20,000 combined household income needed to cushion this financial blow, the lack of my monthly income would pose as a grave monetary insecurity especially since I contribute to half of the monthly mortgage. We did some calculation and we could not keep afloat for long if I didn't find my means to pay my share. I didn't want to dig too deep into my savings. That was the scariest part. This proved to be more difficult than I thought.

I was supposed to hand in my letter in July just before my vacation but there were some problems with the leave calculation. Suddenly the date had to be pushed forward and last thing I knew it was my last week at work. Blame it on my typical Aries trait, but diving into the unknown has always been a norm. I had no plans. I had no directions. All I thought was "Ayia heck it-lah.. already come so far. WING IT saja!"

This is the first time my life was to be governed by nobody but me. I call the shots and I make the decisions. It's pretty much a logarithmic graph: work hard, get more money thus can play hard (and refurbish house... man I cannot stand the interiors left by the previous owners already!). Milestone, memang pun milestone.

Disclaimer: images courtesy of Ecards, Chloe Clam, unknown

Saturday, September 01, 2012

evangelione: portraits in the queen's garden

I would have loved to attend this exhibition. Evangelione, your dolls have got a hold on my heart.

My favourite is the bumble bee.

Disclaimer: all images courtesy of Evangelione

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