Sunday, February 20, 2011

just a wee beyond 1/4 life crisis...

They call it the “Quarter life Crisis.”

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, may, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t’ exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most import ones.

What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job, and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger.

You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.

You feel alone and scared and confuse.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you.

Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.

Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and out worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole things out.

I’m sure we’ve all read the article above written by Brenda Della Casa back in the days when people were terribly into forward mails.

This year marks my last year being a 20-something but I still feel I’m suffering from a quarter-life crisis. Approaching 30, I may not be as lost as I was back when I was 25 but it seems as if I’m still trying to achieve leverage. Sometimes, as I queue up to buy my usual dinner of economy rice, I look around at the crowd of collars and pencil-skirts and wonder if they’re equally as confused as I am? Does everyone know where they will be in 10 years?? Some of you may be fortunate enough to have a headstart... those who inherited a family business or amidst laying the bricks of their own (blogshops and bakeries.. somehow these are the entrepreneurs that manage to do well for themselves). I mean all they gotta do is follow through. Even bankers, lawyers and real-estate agents seem to know where they’re heading. What lies on your Everest? A place in the Forbes ladder of success? Acknowledgement from Oprah or MIFA? 4 children with an equal mix of genders? A stint in BFM or luxury magazine? Paying up the house mortgage? Looking like Kim K?

As of now I don’t have an ambition. Call me generation Y-lah. People are flabbergasted that I’m not all out to save $ and own stacks of fixed deposits... they are even more surprised when I tell them I didn’t want to have any regrets should the world have an apocalyptic end next year. It sounds juvenile (well not if you watch the Discovery Channel) but yeah I’m makin’ this year count. I’m gonna chill and make the effort to connect with people in my lives.

I’ll think of what I wanna be when I grow up... at 32 maybe? ;)

How're you dealing with the quarter-life crisis?

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...