Friday, October 15, 2010

have a break

He’s young. He’s ambitious. He told you he is not ready to be married. And even though the both of you get along and have no issues with fidelity you feel empty inside ‘cos you’re dying to get married. Your married friends tell you, don’t rush it... enjoy your life detached from responsibilities. You refuse to heed advice from ‘the other side’ because what do smug married couples know?? What do they know about the insecurities of a 30-year old spinster? How can they possibly comprehend your void and loneliness when they have someone to come home to everyday.. someone to embrace them as they drift to sleep, someone who is their advocate and confidant, someone who listens about their daily-nothings? You look back on your dating history and shudder. It is not something you’re proud of and now you want to escape from what you feel are dark memories by creating a new album: the married collection. The pressure to settle down builds and without noticing it you sublimely drill the thought of it in everything you say and do. You sound almost deluded. He thinks the both of you should take a break.

What is this thing called a break?

It is a momentary pause in the relationship to re-evaluate your priorities that got shoved under the pillow or forgotten in a musky drawer. At 30 a break isn’t a break-up.. it’s just a break. And the beauty of a break is that you can wander about the forest and if you find that the chanterelles you were lusting after turn out to be poisonous mushrooms you can always return back to the toadstools. What I don’t get is why won’t you allow yourself a shot at happiness? If marriage makes you happy and not getting married makes you unhappy, then why won’t you go out and find someone who could and would.. make you happy. Or maybe you just enjoy being tortured ‘cos well some people do... yeah well sadist. Is it too hard to start over? Hey if you can learn how to work a new microwave or pick up a language you can always get to know a person.

I’m not saying this one isn’t gonna work. I’m saying if you’re both not on the same journey then you’ll always be travelling on parallel paths and it’s gonna be a long while before you meet in the middle. So take that break. Use it and if you don’t find what you’re looking for out there, perhaps what you were really searching for lied in what you had all the while.

Have a break. Have a KitKat :)

2 comments:

Dory said...

yes, im totally agree!

shelbybaby said...

dory: glad you do too.

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