Thursday, January 21, 2010

the night post-burglary

It is possible people could have thought I had less than a care in the world for my things since I hardly took time to mourn over my loss.

Perhaps I didn't look as if I just lost my world when in actual fact I really did lose my universe. Don't you all already know how much I love my belongings?? My stuff were my family!! Some people have dogs, some people have Befrienders, I have my things.

I just didn't have much of a time to sympathize with myself. Work was just too taxing to leave any room for worry. The night post-burglary was the most difficult struggle. Everyone did offer to take me in for the night but I just figured it silly to cramp into someone else's abode when you have a house of your own albeit an empty one. Besides a thief never hits a house twice right? Right?? It was pretty convincing until I sat in my room motionless in silence. No laptop to access my 'Yahoo! Mail' or look up old pictures on my digital camera while listening to my iPod or have a DVD running in the background. And then it struck me. The loss started to sink in: how hard I worked for money to buy my things and now how hard I gotta work to buy new ones. Miss ThamTham told me a story of her aunt who's place got broken into and the thief actually looked through the pictures in the digital camera and made a comeback demanding for a necklace he saw in one of the images. I had just taken multiple pictures of my engagement ring for my next blog entry and now the paranoia is killing me. It made me furious. It made me furious that the thieves had put me in a position of such vulnerability that even what I wear is governed by fear. It’s ridiculous. And most of all it isn’t fair.

Tears welled up in my eyes and well I lost it-lah. Period. Drowning in paranoia and insecurity, I called to Guy for reassurance. He asked me if I was afraid. I told him I was pretty cool about it all but all of a sudden I turned scaredy-cat. That I wasn’t that strong trunk I thought I was. That I used to be this willow tree or maybe banyan… I quite like the banyan tree… OK straying from the topic… but with him I’ve allowed myself to be dependent on him for security.

(msg at 21:00)
Guy: Goin there now…. Don’t say don’t. I am damn worried bout ur safety

He arrived at 2300 just in time to tuck me in to sleep and got up to leave at 0300 in the morning the next day to drive back to KL for work. I was lost for words. How could I not love him? I slept well that night… or at least well enough. I’ll take each night as it comes.


Halsey said...

Hello! Just blogspotting. Great blog! I bookmarked it.

Happy blogging! :)

Fatham. Use your imagination said...

OMG please take care that is so shocking!!

Been missing ur blogging..I hope u feel better now and the culprits come to justice!

shelbybaby said...

halsey: hey there halsey!! thanks for the bookmark and do come back for more :)

fatham: feeling much better now. trying to make the best of things. got a laptop now, there was one just lying at home so i spruced it up abit and now it's all qq which gives me quite abit of semangat to blog. wish work was kinder though. will try to match up to my old self!

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