Wednesday, December 23, 2009

i wanna know what love / life is

I know y’all must have thought I died and went to blogging hell. Well I did but it wasn’t blogging hell… it was just hell. It was Dddy who actually reminded me that I had not posted up an entry close to 2 months! Horror of horrors!! Have I been gone that long?? The O&G (Obstetrics & Gynecology) vertex is stronger than I thought. It all started with EOD tagging early November. You wake up at 0600 in the morning and get to work by 0645 then you work your way right up ‘till the NEXT day at 1800. After sending laundry off and performing a chore or max 2, I’d just stuff dinner (usually KFC or McD ‘cos I don’t have the patience for anything slower) down my throat and call it a day. And the cycle repeats itself the next day. This goes on for an incredulous fortnight and by then I’m just so so spent. Literally. Maybe it’s the age. Maybe it’s my 6th posting. Maybe I’m just sick of on-calls especially ones that go back to back. I’m just not tailored for a life like this… not unless I’ve got a surrogate (with A. Jolie curves) to do the dirty work. My body has been holding protests: flaking scalp like the first day of Danish Christmas, muscle aches, cramping toes and calves, bags under eyes, acne action-packed face and a terribly weaken spirit to boot. I hated living at that point and wonder to myself why is it I studied so hard to be a doctor only to put myself through such gruesome torture. I don’t see dentists, pharmacists, accountants or engineers having to put up with such misery (not this long at least). In fact they’re the ones out there living life… making merry. Don’t get me wrong, I like being a doctor.. I just don’t like being a doctor like this.

Who am I? What does it mean to be alive? And in the vast infinity of time, what makes us live?”
… Heroes …

Well whining aside, another colossal factor contributing largely to my absence online:

I got engaged!!
*cue for release of pink butterfly confetti with glitter rose petals and snow*

I’m probably gonna detail microscopically about the luncheon on shelbymarried but I’ll say this here.
Firstly, my engagement solitaire ring is THE BEST GIFT Guy has EVER given me and I love it to freakin’ bits (Guy feels sometimes an eerily wee bit more than I do him)!! The story ‘bout the ring warrants its own entry… I’ll put it up soon. Secondly, I do not have a romantic proposal story so don’t remind me about it. Lastly, I initially thought I’d get the jitters but I didn’t flinch even abit! Waking up to my fiancĂ© the next morning was paramount and the feeling of being engaged did not smother me but contented me instead. I feel we moved into a new phase of love, and as corny as it sounds, making me love him even deeper than I did before.

In my life
There’s been heartache and pain
I don’t know if I can face it again
Can’t stop now, I’ve travelled so far
To change this lonely life
I wanna know what love is [Guy: You already know what]
I want you to show me [Guy: I already show mah]
… I Want To Know What Love Is, Foreigner …
I love you my Byku. Can't wait to marry you.

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