Friday, October 16, 2009

there is no modern man without a modern woman

“I’m not excusing him. But look at what... what a man gives up to be with one of us. We make more money. We rise higher. We take up more space. We are far from the idea of a wife he grew up with as is possible to be and still wear his ring and go by his last name. Don’t get me wrong, I hate it.”

... Juliet, Cashmere Mafia ...

One evening, Guy turned around to tell me watching me go-go-go at life has brought upon him a new epiphany in life. I was doing A LOT of things what with wedding preps (including troubleshooting venue disasters secondary to failed first choice.. I’ll elaborate further next time), experiment turn hobby turn mini cottage industry all-goodness beauty line: *bisou* rose bonbon, raising funds via charity pre-loved clothes sales including the search for an appropriate orphanage and ironing details on which McDonald’s outlet as well as logistics to get the orphans there (Dddy says we can try manage by borrowing his company van, have afew go on his car and my car and whoever else who wishes to extend transportation contribution… I thought that was a brilliant idea ‘cos I’m pretty limited on budget considering I only have a certain amount of clothes that does not multiply itself in heat and time), trying (though still rather unsuccessfully bleh :P) to LOSE weight, buying a house, keeping the family chores in check as a dutiful eldest daughter, i.e switching Dddy’s Yahoo! back to Classic Yahoo! and typing out Sophekins’ visa renewing rules on email ‘cos she can’t load giant pdf attachments with her poor dial-up in London all the while making sure my boyfriend gets enough lovin’ anddddd BALANCING MY DAY JOB which drives me to the cliff of lethargy and fatigue despite the mere 7-hour episode per day. I sat back and thought to myself for awhile. We modern woman really do do so much more than the females back in the stone ages. It’s not just gathering fruits and flowers while breast-feeding the kid awaiting for the day’s kill. Nowadays it’s helping to sharpen the spearheads, organizing the lil ones’ arching practice, discovering metal and its uses, marinating saber-tooth tiger meat, joining the men on hunts AND gathering fruits and flowers while breast-feeding the kid. Phew! We’ve got a lot on our plates now don’t we? But what do men feel about this excessive shift in dynamics? More importantly what does my man feel about his recessive disposition as opposed to my LOUD ngejreng splashing colours of life? I feared the ultimate: male ego. I needed to know if he could take it. The fact that I enjoy success / Shelbulosity as I call it… that it may come with spent energy and loss of canoodling time… but despite that, that I love him and no trophy from World Vision amounts to the same joy he brings me by just holding my hand in front of the tele. See thing is, we are made to complement each other: man woman (and nowadays man man woman woman… see I don’t forget you babydolls). I always believe that greatness lies in having a wholesome life. Balance is the key don’t they say? So anywhooo, back to Guy’s epiphany: he wishes to do more in life too and not just drift daily in and out from his work as he used to. For now he is yet to decide on his personal goal (since his career path is pretty much written out for him) but for the life of him he’ll help me to achieve mine ‘cos he says making me happy is what makes him wholesome.

Dear Modern Man,

You know what this modern man wants for breakfast? Maybe oatmeal. Bacon and eggs if she’s craving protein. Definitely coffee, but relax. I’m not gonna have you for breakfast. So please don’t be such a wimp at work. It’s high time to accept the fact that a woman might not just be your co-worker. She could be your boss, and you’re gonna have to be prepared to deal, to be a man about it in the true sense of the word. Sure, more working women means more competition, but instead of being threatened by it, be challenged by it. Let’s bring out the best in each other. Win or lose, if you’re a good sport, everybody wins. Until you get your head around this, you’ll be on your road, and I’ll be on mine. I hope at some point we meet in the middle.

The Modern Woman

… Letter from the editor, Cashmere Mafia …

This entry is dedicated to Su Yin: Girl Who Loves To Cook, a beautiful and talented cake designer, who lost a man in the pursuit of Shelbulosity. I applause her refusal to be a dignified sufferer. He was brilliant but just not brilliant enough. 90210 lesson of the day: we all deserve to be with a person who is brilliant ENOUGH!!

Have a good weekend y’all.


LIZZIE said...

yeah, i found out what happened between su yin and her jo.. sad, but life goes on.. and with her successful work and surrounded by friends and families who loves and support her, i'm sure it'll take half the time for her to recover compared to meek and weak girls out there.

plus, she's got the "drive", just like u sweetie! don't forget to give enough lovin' to the boyfriend. but not too much. man appreciates it when we give enough but once we give too much, they'll start to take us for granted.


kenwooi said...

men always have ego.. it depends whether it's high or low.. =)

shelbybaby said...

lizzie: *hugs back*

kenwooi: men and ego goes like sambal and petai.

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