Monday, September 07, 2009

bird food

Miss SitSit tells people I eat like a bird. Though I'm not too familiar with birds that eat poultry or drink Absolut Vodka Limon...

Food is pretty blah(!) when you're on a diet. It's been 5 days and I'm beginning to stray. I had McDonald's yesterday. Can't help it... Ayam Goreng Spicy calls! Anyway I'm back on the health horse again. I wish I had Kimora Lee Simmons' personal chef to cook me calorie-free yumyums.

Shelbybaby's Guide to Eating McBird Food:



Tip 01: Accompany bland egg-on-toast with an intoxicating incentive. The brief high would cloud your judgement into thinking you're having Burger Ramly Spesial instead!


Tip 02: Live with a housemate who loves cooking and produces stuff that should be endorsed on Maggi Ikan Bilis Stock packaging... and nick his wares! Makes eating bird food so much more yummy and fun :)

.

Tip 03: Disguise steamed crap with brilliant dining deco. Veg always tastes better served on a Hello Kitty plate!


Tip 04: Mushrooms always helps make the medicine go down. And they taste meaty. So-called.

Tip 05: Constantly Lie to yourself about taste. It'll work... in time...


Tip 06: Use color! And chicken breasts.

Tip 07: Remove as much fat as you can from the chicken before boiling. And if you're boiling veg, put in the meat as 'flavouring' so as to avoid overindulging on MSG (compensating blah-ness of food).

Tip 08: Make a batch so you don't get pissed off 'bout having to cook every f*cking meal and stray towards Mc-happy-Land :P



Tip 09: Stock refridgerator wit bird food accomplice so as to avoid snacking. Between muncing on cili padi or copped spring onions I'd rater not eat any.


Tip 10: Reward yourself with a visit to a healty sounding restaurant like Marmalade and get yourself yummy combo-power-juices, salmon rolls and (OK so I defaulted abit... but just abit... cut me some slack) lemon meringue pie.




2 comments:

Alida said...

Hello. This is Alida and I heard that you've been waiting for my feedback on your pictured diet...
In my opinion there's a lot of good stuff here. I can see many vegetables, which is always great!
But the key to a healthy diet is not only what you include but also what you have to avoid.
For example:
1) When you had your fried egg, was it fried in butter or oil? To avoid excessive fat you might just want to have a boiled egg instead.
2) What's with that big amount of meat? Eat a third of that and rather eat yourself full on vegetables and some rice.
3) Mushrooms: I hope they were grilled/baked...
4) As for your "little" treat. Wtf?! A little treat would have been a third of that portion.
5) I am missing a salad on your menu :-(
6) I am looking forward to your next entry featuring some fruits as well.

shelbybaby said...

alida: í'm :( but i'm grateful. thx so much for your honest opinion. really appreciate that! will try to be more earnest in this..

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