Tuesday, August 11, 2009

single no more = interesting no more?

Mash potatoes.

That’s what I’m turning into.

Absolute mush (with gravy on the side). Comfort, safe and the opposite-of-exhilarating food.

I guess when I read Lizzie's comment on one of my latest entry just yesterday it suddenly struck me: I’m turning into those lovey-dovey-cooey-glazy-eyed-caramel-coated sweet crap I used to dislike… not dislike entirely but it mainly made me go ‘eurggh’ and I’d skip the romantic sh*t and go onto the next entry!! But like all cooked porridge, nasi sudah menjadi bubur and I cannot find myself to go back to that state of angst and frustration I used to be in. I have to accept that I’m no longer single and no longer exasperatingly looking for love and excitement. Love is thrilling enough so I’ve discovered. For those who never knew, I have never had a boyfriend before Guy. I’ve had string of could-be-s or would-be-s or some wish-it’d-be-s *wink wink Edward Cullen* but never the real thing. I don’t know how to handle a relationship and I don’t know what it means to be a person’s girlfriend. I’m slowly learning now. Years of watching my other girlfriends have helped me get the feel of the edges but the whole grasp is still far off.

Weekends are no longer screaming opportunities to mingle and discover possible man-friends. Holidays are no longer cringe-worthy affairs. Outings with girlfriends take a cutback on numbers. Hanging out in front of the tele with the parentals is no longer a staple activity. Bridal magazines suddenly become new best friends. Super hot-shot concerts or massive blow-out parties are no longer a must-go. Work is not all that important and becomes just work. What I have turned into is sedentary and (don’t say it… don’t say it…. don’t say it….) BORING. There, I said it! Now I know why girls just suddenly disappear into some romance abyss when they trip over the love-log. It’s quite consuming this relationship thing… you plan to spend every single second and breath together, you put away all your favourite hobbies ‘cos it’s just too in-the-way of that ‘every-second-breath-together’, everybody else’s company pales in comparison to his and as the relationship grows even more energy + attention + time + money is spent to continue nurturing this fragile plant ‘cos that’s just how love is. You constantly gotta pat its head, reward it a cookie for good behaviour, take it on evening walks even though your PMS is killing you. It’s just how it goes but the best part is.. you don’t feel a tinge of nausea. You enjoy doing it and it’s just really really fun that way.

We were chatting one day, parentals and I, and going through some potential ideas of the wedding (should there be one) and I suddenly felt quite tachypneic. It was just too bizarre. Just 3 months prior (with reference to the timeline then) I was lamenting on that very same couch to Dddy that I’m SO DARN SINGLE I’m going to die an old maid. Fast forward 3 months later and we’re discussing guest seatings!! FIRST TIME IN OUR LIVES IN THE HISTORY OF THE KHO HOUSEHOLD--*Sejarah Book Moment*! It’s just too much for me to handle and I felt like my head was spinning like a top on Absinthe. I yelled to Dddy (in a nice way of course)

moi: Dddy!! Don’t you find all these so weird??
Dddy: What’s weird?
moi: This!!
Dddy: What??
moi: Me and the idea of a wedding!! Getting married!! The whole hulabalooo!!
Dddy: Why is it weird? I don’t find it weird that my daughter is going to get married. It happens.
moi: But 3 months ago I was just saying I’m so damn single it’s not even funny and now you wanna talk wedding… it’s crazy!!
Dddy: I never thought my daughter getting a boyfriend is weird. It will happen to a VERY lucky guy worthy enough to win her. And when that happens it will progress into a marriage because that’s how love goes. It turns into a marriage and then into a family. It’s not that fast too come to think of it… how old are you now?
moi: 28 (yup the old man does not know my age, I do believe I stopped aging in his eyes the moment I turned 17).
Dddy: And next year you’d be 29… isn’t that the normal age to get married? Your mother and I got married at 28 and had 2 ‘accidents’!! *smirks and proceeds to get pinched by Mmmy*
moi: Oh. Well, yeah I guess 29 is an OK age. It’s not too early and not too late.
Dddy: It’s just the natural phase of life. It’s OK. Take it easy.
moi: Yeah I guess…

I can't believe my father is the one convincing m it's OK and not the other way around.

So yes I am sorry I have turned into a KFC side dish. I can’t help it. But I’m certainly not sorry I’m attached. I guess we all do grow out of our Single Carrie phases one day. I do hope you will all stick around. I love that you read my blog and pay attention to the nitty-gritty details of my life. And I certainly would want y’all to watch me take my first flutter into the life of Mrs Big when the day comes. I promise I'll make it fun like how it used to be and will continue to be...



LIZZIE said...

Hahaha.. Mushy2 does not mean boring deary, n u know that! Haha.. Being cynical and hard does not become of u.. Being cute n lovey dovey is better. Hehehe.. Aiya, 29 good mah.. Ripe age one.. Remember the old adage, women are like wine, the older the wine, the sweeter it tastes? (I never drink wine but I'll just agree la. Hahaha) *^_~*

Cindy Khor said...

i love just how you write this post, about falling in love and talking about marriage, i don't think i would be able to describe the feeling so clearly. ok, now you make me wonder whether getting married at 25 is just too fast...

Caroline said...

so it's true? :D

i love how supporting ur dad is.
seriously, ur parents are awesome. (:

on another happy note,
does uncle tony and aunty nancy know???

kk. i won't tell them until i get approval from u.

till then, I AM SERIOUS about the wedding planner thingy! (;
if you EVER need help dear.


shelbybaby said...

lizzie: i do drink wine and i must say that old adage is pretty accurate. mushy-mushy can be quite ABIT boring-lah... really! i used to quite think so 'till now. now i'm just pro-mush. so lalang hor?? thx for sticking around lizzie and highlighting issues that never really occured to me. i tend to forget i'm going overboard with sappy...

cindy: when you are both ready to get married and accept the responsibility of a conjoint life then by all means get married. i'm in no position to give out advice but i feel it's really the matter of maturity and sometimes it really does come with age. still nobody is really prepared for marriage. i know i'm not *giggle*

caroline: hey babygirl! if i knew you were in service i so would have gotten you onboard but i've just recently paid a deposit to my planner... darn. still, hope you'll still aid out if i need any. haven't made an official announcement to anyone yet. it's too early!! though i will once i get the invitations out :)

Ashley Two Fish said...

am i getting this right? you are getting married??!? in the 2 months i dc from blogging, you met a guy, have a guy and now marrying a guy? wow!! see, life works in mysterious ways. congratz!

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