Monday, November 03, 2008

so the thing about me being single hor… (part 01)

Right. That. If I can get RM1 for every time I get asked that beloved question I could probably buy an island today (did I just give away how long I’ve been single… oops)!

I’m essentially a loner (almost).

I like to do things alone. I watch movies (yes, as in cinema) alone. I eat alone. I shop alone. I go for evening runs alone. I have dessert alone. I choose furniture alone. I munch on my special home-made tuna pedas-cheese sandwiches while watching Heroes alone. I know so many people who are afraid or at least can’t bring themselves to do a lot of those things alone. But I can. They ask me why. I don’t really have a solid answer. It could be because I hate waiting… or that I’m too lazy to fix a mutual time to do stuff with people or well it’s really kinda easy and fuss-free to just go it yourself. There is, though, one thing I can’t do alone or at least haven’t the guts to try it alone yet: drinking in a pub solo. It’s still a lil’ scary for me… But that’s besides the point. It’s just that people say I don’t embrace company and if I don’t embrace company, it won’t come to me.

I’m a doctor.

Female. Doctor. Those 2 words are very uninviting when put together. I don’t know why but it’s how it is. Male doctor, though, would sell like hot Portuguese egg tarts. Trust me profession matters. Some occupations sell themselves in the social department say air-stewardess *ahem* I mean flight-attendant or model even the word teacher is warm and friendly. I have no comprehension as to why boys drop their jaws (not in awe) when I reveal what I do for a living. Then they start getting uncomfortable which further proceeds to clamming up and I end up feeling a lil’ on the pathetic side. It’s, like, girls have to apologize for being successful. I know a lot of girls who do. I’m not saying being a doctor is the idea of success but generally it’s kinda there, let’s be honest. Am I supposed to be sorry I have a magnificent father who felt his life duty is to mould his daughter into the best being possible? Am I supposed to apologize I chose books over birthdays? Am I supposed to ask for forgiveness for all the blood-sweat-tears that went into my 6 years of medical school? No. I worked really hard and it may seem bizarre that this chick.. is so full of giggles yet comes with a game plan. Intimidating even. I had supper with a close male friend few days ago and just as we came to the subject of career, his entire face changed and it’s, like, the guy crawled into some kinda emotional shell when I went about my aspirations in life. Hey he asked for it! Literally. He asked, I answered and then he got all weird and sh*t. Well the point is it’s not easy to be a doctor and date. Guys get threatened.

I dress quirkily.

I’m loud. And what’s even more frightening I’m loudly dressed! An example? I can give you EXAMPLES with multiple Ss: my pink Ugg boots, my Giles Deacon for Mulberry studded patent clutch with S+M ball of spikes attachment, my red Lulu Guinness snakeskin lips clutch, my skanky tops, my Rusty devil-horned hoodie, my hippie dresses, dainty wedding hats and well my costumes I suppose. Guys are relatively simple: y’know “just give me my beer and KFC and I’m good”… so when usual items of life like clothes aren’t run of the mill, as in has feathers or is super embellished or horrors(!!): leather fringes… they just freak! Not every boy on earth is umm fashion tolerant. Almost all of them aren’t. So… it’s been told to me as I don’t dress normally hence condemned to singleton.

I’m high maintenance.

Wor. And I say wor ‘cos I seriously don’t believe I am-lor. Even if I was high maintenance, it’s only to myself. Or at most to my parents and I limit it to that..

“You know I got my own life
And I bought everything that's in it..”
… I Don’t Need A Man, The Pussycat Dolls …

Again my friend (as mentioned in point 2) accused me of being so. Well apparently me and him not so great friends after all… ‘cos apparently he doesn’t know me, like, at all!! My family started out humble. Dddy didn’t go to no big university. The guy’s your typical 1950’s product who came from a tiny lil’ nowhere town with nothing but a couple of ringgit in his pocket and a plastic bag filled with crappy clothes. Basically he worked his way up from rank and file and now owns a mediocre business which is a far cry from ‘start’. Despite our financial deficiencies Dddy made sure we didn’t compromise on essentials i.e, education (hence the endless tuition) and fun (we had cheapo free family games like soft-soft and Ah Ngor). While other children played their Nintendos / went to Disneyland / had McDonalds birthday parties, I helped with delivery and stock counting etc… considerably I had quite abit of a suppressed childhood hence leading to this bizarre complex I possess. But hey whatever I have, my parentals got me or I got it myself. I know so many girls who just wait on men for materials. But I don’t see anyone calling them blood-sucking ho-s. Also it’s not like I eat in restaurants and cafes everyday. I know the hawker / mamak menu better than most people I know. But apparently it appears I’m so damn high-maintenance it’s obscene! And that is what scares boys away. What-lah... if I look like Makcik Hannah Tan and I demand this and that and that and this, all will kowtow submissively and say "Yes, Ma'am". I don't see anyone calling her a diva high-maintenance b*tch also. But me oooh, pamper myself abit also kena sound: I'm sorry but I work hard for my money and money is earned to be spent and sometimes happiness can be bought!
(to be continued...)
- I'm FAT
- I'm an absolute retard at first dates
- I don't have time
- I filter

Read: So the thing about me being single hor... (part 02)


cindy khor said...

i think its alright to be single. at least you can have all the freedom you want and you don't have to look at other's mood to do certain things. well, i'm not sure whether i should say my "condolence" to you but good luck in finidng the other half.will always support you ( i mean through your blog)

Anonymous said...

Don't worry, be happy. =)

ahmad said...


shelbybaby said...

cindy: always value your support! shelbulously single i may be but yea it's time to shake things up and get some lovin' *wink*

kenwooi: me trying!!

ahmad: *mental hi-5*

saltvinegar said...

Glad to know there's a doctor out there who doesn't blog about work too!

shelbybisou said...

saltvinegar: lol i do hope there are more than us. enough work talk at work already lol. i suppose my excuse for lack of work rant these days would be that medicine is fleetingly turning to become my past life :D

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