Saturday, June 14, 2008

a tip to increase your ‘laku’ value: wear a sari

This is my first time wearing a sari. Wore a gahgra and a selwaar-kami before but never a sari. Man it’s tedious stuff this sari business. Ah Uv really wanted me and Miss CillaCilla to wear a sari. After the heavy hints and endless persuasion I decided to just jump into the Bollywood wagon and go Indian.

Miss CillaCilla and I went to the only Indian apparel store in TI: Gayathri. My budget was nothing over RM100. I was supposed to be really prudent over cash this month but lo and behold every time someone says he / she’s gonna be careful ‘bout something, the contrary occurs. Say like a catwalk model would go “MAN I really hope I don’t fall down them treacherous stairs” and next thing you know KABOOM she trips and jatuh terpelosok or a boy goes “I pray it doesn’t rain so I can play football today” and next thing he knows it’s pouring cats and dogs!! Anywayyy it’s abit obvious I would look for a pink sari. I didn’t even need to choose… I just went: PINK!! The shopkeeper was really helpful, she showed me stuff I could afford and afew that I couldn’t of which I sheepishly pushed away. When my eyes smack-boomed on this cloth I could feel a tingle go down my spine. Just like when I bought my Goyard mini-shopper or my Zara-on-sale treasure finds. The colour brought out my eyes!! KAKAKA no it didn’t. Nothing ever brings out black eyes-lah… it just really pops and obviously POPPING is of my intention. Miss CillaCilla said the shopkeeper assistants agreed in unison that I should get the cheaper cloth (popping pink) instead of the pricier (2-toned peach-maroon). I have to give them some credit for putting forth customer’s welfare rather than profit. I got a discount and got my cloth for approximately RM70. Is that an OK price??

Had some trouble finding a tailor and opted for the one recommended by the cloth shop. I learnt about sari making and the beauty of ‘windows’. ‘Window’ is actually the design (backless or not) of your sari blouse’s posterior. Basically the front is always basic ‘cos it gets covered up by the sari cloth anyways but it’s the back that people look forward to see. The little peek of enigmatic sensuality or so it seems to me after fervent explanation by Miss CillaCilla. So cool right?? We chose a really cute design to start off my sari wearing experience. It was supposed to be sexy-Angelina-Jolie galore. Got Miss CillaCilla herself excited!! Since I spoke no words of Tamil apart from “muchoo muchoo”, it was Miss CillaCilla and the tailor who yapped back and forth. Later on Miss CillaCilla said the tailor and his assistant made happy comments regarding the good colour and how it very suited my skin tone. I also learnt that as much neon Bollywood uses, it doesn’t really apply to real life. I always thought Indians are the only people who could pull off saffron yellow, mint green or fuchsia pink ‘cos colour is so the part of their culture. But really they wear more neutral and mundane classic tones instead. Only fair people can pull off bright stuff wor. That or very very kampung tangkachis who don’t know any better. Well I hope I’m not the latter.

I collected the sari blouse a day before the event ‘cos it’s tailoring and I know much ‘bout tailoring: nothing is perfect the first time around. Unless your seamstress is some kinda President Customize. I was thoroughly disappointed to find the blouse to be SO DECENT. Not even a hint of Jessica Alba also! Ayo and the cutting was bad bad bad. So we had to return it to him to get things sorted out.

(conversation… in Tamil)
Miss CillaCilla: Uncle, she said that the design is so conservative. How come not sexy one??
Tailor: You all want sexy kah?? You should have said.
Miss CillaCilla: But since we showed the design to you we figured you would automatically know that we wanted it sexy. Weren’t you going to follow the picture?
Tailor: Yar… thing is people in TI don’t wear so buka-buka one. So I just made it according to the usual local demand.
Miss CillaCilla: People here don’t wear sexy at all??
Tailor: No-lah. If I know you all wanted it to be so open I would have made it SUPER open for you until like air-cond!!
moi: Makes me sound like a slut liddat!
Miss CillaCilla: :D

I had insisted, since the week before, that Ah UV gave me the specific address of his engagement venue in Batu Gajah but nooo… he insisted I follow the boys. So fine, sans Claudia, follow I did. Man the journey was treacherous!! Firstly Ah Kum (our mutual colleague) does NOT fill his tank up before journeys so we had to wait forever for the fella to pump petrol-lah, wipe windows and he even had the cheek to CHANGE BLOODY OIL while I patiently waited for him to get done. WTF? Then macha really steps on it and I wonder if he even remembers that I don’t know the way and was indeed tagging after him. Didn’t the guy realize I was NOT racing him? At some point it became pretty evident to me my foot was constantly pushing on the pedal… lo and behold I was going at BLIMMIN’ 160 km / hr!! And I was still lagging behind!! Member must be going at 180 km / hr or something. OMG I have never driven that fast in my life! I can contend for Miami Vice or KL Drift now-lah. Serious. Not only that member has some kinda crazy ideation that cutting at curbs is FUN. Straight road.. no oncoming traffic.. no cut. BIG bend at the road.. heavy oncoming traffic.. CUTTT!! Initially I figured since it was difficult for me to follow suit he would at least have the tendency to go slow post-cut so that I could catch up. BUT no… Mike happily speeds off into the horizon. Can you believe this guy?? So I had to start cutting at curbs too-lah. Should have worn a diaper underneath the layers of cloth ‘cos I was so terrified I almost peed into my seat! Dah-lah tu, my dear friend Ah Kum, upon cutting at the curb, does not allow me space to insert my automobile back into our road leaving me free and open to drive heads on into the oncoming traffic. Many a time I had to coax my heart to be still. If I had a history of unstable angina or hyperlipidemia +
hypertension I could have developed an acute myocardial infarction or stroke there and then. I am not gonna elaborate more on his crappy driving ethics except that we got lost A LOT. I think if I trailed a rhinoceros also lagi safer and
faster OK.

By the time we got there my right knee was thrashed. I am anticipating horrendous nocturnal and mobility agony when I get older.

We all settled in nicely into a table and I allowed everyone at work to admire my sari. Miss CillaCilla’s momma had advised her earlier that day to guard me well ‘cos men seem to be slightly outlandish when it comes to Fair-Young-Things in sari *guffaws*

L-R: Ah The, Miss NasaNasa, Ah Kum, Ah Lau

Miss CillaCilla and moi. We h-h-hot hor??

The pelamin. So grand even if just for an engagement right??

Ever since my window thang now all I do is look at everybody else’s window to compare. Just like the first time I got my eyebrows plucked.

Ah Uv and his brother.

Traditional whachamacalits.

Fiance in full deck.

Awww… I thought this pose was seriously hilarious!! Ah Uv kept warning me amidst his smiley shots to stop taking his corny poses and I kept snapping away in glee.

Ah The dragged us all onto the stage. We really tak tau malu wei. Everyone else on stage was relatives and here we are of absolute no blood relation prancing around the stage taking pictures. Ayia as you can see me amateur sari-wearer-lah. Miss CillaCilla had pinned the cloth to my blouse so that I don’t terpijak and terburai everything everywhere. I kept forgetting to hold my sari in place which resulted in me looking like I’m wearing a curtain! Why-lah I didn’t hold my sari properly?!!

The colleagues, L-R: Miss CillaCilla, Miss NasaNasa, PRINCESS, Ah Lau, Ah Uv, Ah Kum, Ah The

After makan-makan we all went home. Ah Uv’s fiancée was really sweet but I totally forgot to take her picture-lor.

Perhaps the extra-curricular activity was a good opportunity for all of us to let our hair down (me literally) and just be non-doctors for a night. Next day there was a lot to be said from the males. My saham seriously naik-lah ever since the sari bonanza. Ah Uv said I had 3 enquiries / proposals and 1 of them from his father-in-law :D Also everyone’s nicer to me now and Ah The told Miss CillaCilla to pass on the message that if he wasn’t already committed, the pursuit would begin!

Yeayyy I am officially LAKU!! It’s about time.

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