Saturday, August 04, 2007

go watch transformers if you haven’t already

I think I’m the last earthling to watch Transformers (due to the reasons below):
- I can never find the time
- I hate watching a blockbuster the week it opens ‘cos I can never get good seats ‘cos I don’t have the time to queue up for them. Can’t be bloody bothered anyway
- Some morons told me the movie was crap

I totally beg to differ and for those who didn’t bloody bother (as I did before, don’t blame you.. I totally get the whole no-time excuse), if your local screens still have Transformers in tow: GO WATCH IT!! A great 25,000rp spent.

Never really bothered ‘bout Transformers before ‘cos I never really liked the cartoon in the first place. Didn’t understand the whole concept of Optimus Prime turning into a truck or that dog-like robot turning into a cassette. Guess when you’re an 8-year old chick, the whole idea of transforming (hence the name Transformers) seems so, like, “HUH?? WH..??” (equivalent mental reactions to Kemahiran Hidup Bersepadu mini-projects). Most importantly they would ALWAYS cut out Jem and The Holograms to make way for Transformers on Sunday mornings which totally pissed the f*ck outta me when I was little. Thing is, RTM2 isn’t the most reliable network on earth in terms of their weekend morning cartoons back then. The usual routine would be: Carebears followed by My Little Pony / The Potatohead Family and then Jem & The Holograms BEFORE Transformers. Sometimes when they have some show on later in the day, they’d push forward all the subsequent slots and unfortunately for me Jem & The Holograms always gets the boot ‘cos they have to show some compassion for the testosterone-fueled audience. I guess now I don’t blame ‘em ‘cos there should be some boy shows or we’d get more fruits than nuts in the male population. So that explains my long-standing grudge against Transformers.

Everyone kept going on and on ‘bout the Transformers movie and I figured everyone was just really biased with the hype. Malaysians and Indonesians alike, we’re so mainstream… I mean we actually think the Harry Potter movie is, like, so great. Adoi please deh. It was crap and I will dictate on its crappiness in another entry. On this occasion, they ‘re right banget. It’s freaking hilarious. Even when they’re not trying to be funny they are.. the whole black humour thing. The theatre was pretty empty when I went, just a few couple in front of me and at the back. If you made us all squeeze together we’d only make up a row and a half I think. So anyways they were all Indons so I bet they were all reading from the awful subtitles (when are subtitles ever super?) ‘cos they couldn’t catch a lot of the comic. I pula was laughing my freaking ass off every, like, 7 mins or something. People must think I was nuts-lah. The Witwickys are super FUNNY ha-ha. My favourite part of the movie is the part where Mr Witwicky finds his garden all ruined by the ‘earthquake’ XD Ch*ba* funny man, seriously!! Wah Josh Duhamel serious HOTNESS wei. Fergie is one lucky chick. I wonder how it feels like to lie under this man every night? This man is so hot he can fry rocks into diamonds on his abs-lah. I got really excited when they slipped the “more than meets the eye” line oh-so-cleverly in between the script. My favourite robot in the show is the scorpion fella. I LURRVE it. It’s one helluva sexy machine. OK shouldn’t be rooting for the enemy but the Decepticons really know ‘bout presentation. The Autobots’ outlook abit the boring-lah. I mean the most interesting fella of them’s probably Optimus Prime ‘cos of the whole red-white-blue combination. They really did a good job of delivering the robot ‘transformation’… I never could have understood the whole mechanics of a robot turning into a mini hi-fi if not for the movie. I was, like, WAHHHH so that’s how they turn into robots and just within seconds some more. Very very cool. Although I thought in Transformers the 2-D cartoon each little robot contributes to an anatomical part of the Le Grande Optimus Prime, non? Like some fella’s the leg and some fella’s the right hand kinda thing. Or am I getting it confused with Power Rangers ah? Ayo dunno-lah. Haven’t watched the cartoon in eons. So it’s good-lah. The chick’s a little old to be going to high school with Shia (Sam Witwicky) but hey who cares-lah… she has a body of a Playmate and the only person who’s gonna go all politically correct on this issue is probably me. Absolutely adore the idea of a junkie Chihuahua and super swoon at the concept of replicating metal DNA. I love the entire show. I could even hold my urine in the whole time. And trust me I drank a lot of Coke. Wish I had a boyfriend at times like these so he can flood me with Transformers trivia as I picture his face to be Josh Duhamel’s. I could make out with Josh, like, literally sort-of. KAKAKA me crazy.

(msg, Aug 2006 -whoah a year ago wei!-)
moi: Heehee nx trip I invite ur mr trans4mers come play wit my miss spears!! But no hanky panky cos she’s good girl so ask ur robot 2 keep his screws 2 himself!!
Ah Choy: Hehe. Dowan, ur doll 2 sissy 4 my robots Ah shaddup!! Ur robot’s gay anyway!!

P.S: Ah Choy has an Optimus Prime. I used to think twice to let my Britney Spears play with him ‘cos I didn’t want her to mix with the wrong company. But now I think can-lah… he seems like quite a smart fella. And boy does she need a lot of them smarts!! *wink*
P.P.S, disclaimer: images courtesy of Yahoo! Movies

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