Saturday, May 26, 2007

queen beeatch quote of the day: friendship = dispensable

Yesterday I had a fall out with a friend. It all started when…

(I’ll call her Miss Horrors because the thought of her sends me into my Miss Leong, ex-tuition teacher, mode when I don’t do my homework and she goes “HORRORS OF HORRORS!!” Pretty hilarious really but that’s outside the context of this entry)
Miss Horrors: blaming me for all the hatred taht you guys have so much.
moi: where got blame u
moi: ya ampun. get a grip

It’s this part where things started to get insane. Maybe she, too, didn’t have enough work to do thus sprung Saturn-Jupiter-Mars-like ideas that we all “hate” each other because of her. Which is why I told her to get a grip ‘cos that’s just so irrelevant. Man, someone put a little cuh-razy powder in the protein shake today.
Miss Horrors: when the mess (happened)... i was to blame
moi: i where got blame u
moi: did i blame u??
moi: think properly
moi: did i blame u??
moi: i may have asked u if u got
moi: but i didnt accuse u for whatever mess u talking about

This is when I corrected her. People simply mustn’t make mountains out of molehills. And when making accusations, do pause to think properly if IT ACTUALLY DID TAKE PLACE ‘cos nothing worse than a freakin’ fraud y’know?? I mean this is why Mahsuri, like, got incarcerated… OK-lah not really but they parang-ed her properly to a tree or something. All because of false accusations. Bad bad. And I totally smelt her self-victimization through my pristine Vaio screen. OMG where’s her whole positive-thinking now?? Charades I’m telling you charades!!

Miss Horrors: i may be loud... but i have always kept things in confidence -- aka sensitive towards otehrs -- which u have repeatedly accused me of lacking it.
moi: i'm pointing it out. i'm not victimising u. i'm making sure tat u r not blinded by your own perspective
Miss Horrors: how is that my perspective, what do i get in return?
Miss Horrors: nothing, just so u know.

I didn’t really get the how is it her perspective and the nothing she gets in return thing. Most of the time we have a language breakdown despite the fact we’re both conversing in English. Funny how that happens. I know many a time I don’t get what she says-lah. Just like the perspective-nothing-in-return bonanza *shrug*

moi: cos u are like that. u dont notice it. but u are and this trait never left u and will never leave you. its not bad thing or good thing or anything. its just how u are.

Can’t she see I’m simply laying it out as a remark. It’s not like I’m screaming “OMG WHY YOU SO LIKE THAT HUH?? WHY YOU SO LIKE THAT??” Merely an observation, simple statement, description of my interpretation. We all have our personal qualities which makes each and everyone of us differ from the other. I believe that the judgement of such individuality lies mainly in the delivery… if you’re protective of yourself but hurt noone you’re self-centred good. If you’re protective of yourself but hurt others or seem like you’re hurting others then I suppose you’re self-centred bad. I didn’t call her self-centred even. She came upon this conclusion herself and ASSUMED I said so. WTF. People should really read carefully ‘cos it’s radioactive hazardous if they don’t. I mean, goodness gracious sweet mother of Doolittle.. look below!!

Miss Horrors: that im self-centered?

Get my point?

moi: tat u think only ur way is right and refuse to accept alternativesMiss Horrors: hmmmm....
Miss Horrors: tahts new!
moi: u've been like this since last time and i dont really bother cos i used to itMiss Horrors: and you are one to atlk!

This is when she puts on her vicious. This is when she becomes just plain mean to me.

moi: i am stubborn. i dont deny. everyone knows it and everyone has lived with it
Miss Horrors: and selfish.
Miss Horrors: and demanding.
Miss Horrors: and no regard for otehrs.

When I tackled the subject with her, did I call her names?? No, I didn’t. Thank goodness I’m classier than that. At most I called her “pushy for her own good” which falls far from the tree in comparison to the nasties like “selfish, demanding, no-regard-for-others”. I would have whipped my artillery and returned fire but ayia what’s the point? Better to have 1 person hurt than 2 people-lah. See I can be a peace-loving creature what.

moi: u may think all this is hurting me but its not cos i already know it and accept it
moi: and everyone also know it and they've grown accustom to it

Miss Horrors: maybe i'll like to consider that.
Miss Horrors: you cost more pain then you do good to me

moi: i'm sorry to hear that
Miss Horrors: and i have no intention to hurt u as u to me
Miss Horrors: here's anotehr history u could relate to
Miss Horrors: so another one less to be sensitive about

I call her “pushy for her own good” and “not thinking about what other people might want” and she calls me a murderer. WTF?? This type of drama I don’t need. This self-pity crap, OMG please *taking a breather*, so passé. Maybe she was looking for an outlet to feel sorry for herself so fine-lah give it to her-lah. Give the dog a bone-lah.
moi: i dont intend to hurt u as u think
moi: i wont explain myself either
Miss Horrors: i've taken far too much of your crap.
*frowns* Well SO HAVE I. I’ve taken far too much of her crap too. Touche!!

moi: ppl never know how to look at bigger picture. so u can go ahead and think of me this way. its sad tat u think negatively of my intention but we cannot control wat others think
moi: u want ppl to tell u only good things and sweet things.

Miss Horrors: and its not enchansing my life.
Miss Horrors: i just choose look at the good side of people and not the negative that all... and taht seem to be wrong/so wrong from where u come from

This is the part where she does a save: y’know-lah meagre attempt to bring the situation into her favour. Babydoll, not workin’.

moi: do understand that this conversation changes our friendship forever
Miss Horrors: and i am to look outside the picture? its ironic raelly it now i know what to say when it's to you
Miss Horrors: whatever lah.
Miss Horrors: i lost my strenght in being postive.
Miss Horrors: because it seem to be selfish for my own good.
Miss Horrors: and that hurts to the brim.

Blablabla other nonsense…

Miss Horrors: but u dont see me as me.
Miss Horrors: u choose to see whatever u wnat to see.
Miss Horrors: like u almost want to break me.
moi: g*dd u make me sound like i victimize u properly. please deh. everyone has a way of handling things. i'm just telling u tat that so-and-so way is how u handle things as an outsider point of view
moi: cannot handle it then just block tat info from ur brain. just like how u think i am mean to you i dont believe it so i block it out

Like the ultimate theatrical genius Jack McFarland of the Will + Grace family would intelligently say: Quote “Constructive criticism. It’s in. I’m assessing it. I’m not hearing it. It’s gone” Unquote.

Blablabla after even more rubbish, finally…

Miss Horrors: i have no intention for u to change -- its your life so its raelly up to you -- but one thing i know is u have no reagrd for me or thsi friendship

Look-lah at all the blimin’ drama she’s employing. Ayo that’s one pretty powerful thing a person could accuse me of: no regard for the friendship. Konon. Maybe she fails to realize that for all the years when people shunned (aka turned their backs on her aka not invite her to events AKA kept her out of light of things) her ‘cos they couldn’t stand to be a freaking millimetre near her I stood there: being her friend. When they b*tched about her constantly (all the while acting pleasant in front of her) I turned deaf momentarily and shrugged: being her friend. When she almost gave up what-was-the-best-career-move-she-could-have, I made sure she didn’t succumb to the jitters and ruined her CV for life. When NOBODY BOTHERED TO TURN UP TO HER EVENTS AND MADE PATHETIC EXCUSES, I came: being her friend. Or so I thought. I must have such a primitive notion of what friendship is, non? Maybe being a friend is actually being sugar spice all nice in front of you while sliding a Japanese samurai sword down your vertebrae. This is such a revelation!! I totally get it now!! Must remember: to conserve friendship do the 2-face manoeuvre. So desu ne. Frankly I’m surprised at how quickly human beings can turn on another. Friendship is so overrated and most definitely disposable-lah these days. I’m sure a lot of ketua gangster will agree with me that loyalty nowadays is just a word. It hasn’t got the value it did before. Of course she’s snobbish now-lah. What is my friendship worth now that she has her other friends who decided to “friend” her again? In my book it’s called kacang lupakan kulit. In folklore it’s called Si Tanggang.

moi: i'm sorry u feel this way becos all i've done till now is protect you
moi: fiercely
moi: and everything about you
moi: this is tragic to know
moi: tat u feel this way about me. maybe one day u will realize that u were not right in this matter.
moi: and since this is so i also feel no mood to, i dunno, be friendly then
Miss Horrors: protect me fiercely from what? that im bad perosn actually?

Wh..?? Someone needs to go for, I dunno, Lit class or something. I mean, did I not make myself crystal clear? Bizarre.

moi: protect u fiercely from bad things
moi: its just English
moi: i cannot believe we're back in the same circle as before
moi: i dunno wat else to say. maybe we ought to take a break from each other. since u think my friendship so toxic then i think better this way

And that raps up our 90210 lesson of the day. What a, like, Renong! I will know better than to invest in this company (pun not intended) again. Seriously.

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