Thursday, April 05, 2007

weary ‘bout HIV

(crappy re-enactment of conversation)
Ah Ij:
Have you gotten yourself tested??
moi: For what?
Ah Ij: HIV-lah.
moi: Why do I need to get tested?
Ah Ij: How many times you’ve tercucuk needles?
moi: I don’t know. I can’t remember. I guess kinda long time ago, a year maybe especially when I was in Surgical department. But I can’t remember if it was a fresh needle or if it was a patient’s.
Ah Ij: Yeah well.
moi: I am pretty confident I’m clean though.
Ah Ij: Oh yah?
moi: I do remember taking a full blood test… you know the Pathlab daylight-robbery package sort with tumor-marker and all that jazz. Nothing came out positive. So…
Ah Ij: You know there’s this thing called ‘window period’…?
moi: I know-lah. Perhaps I should get tested again just to be sure. Sh*t. Klinik Teratai right?
Ah Ij: Yah. Free.
moi: With freakin’ counselling. I hate that.

And you’d think with me being such a goodie-2-shoes virgin bloody Mary I would be invincible. This just makes me so flabbergasted with life, with living.. sometimes. I’m so careful with everything yet it does not guarantee me substantial protection against the world’s most feared virus (OK not really-lah, avian flu virus lagi jahat). It just seems so VERY RIDICULOUS to get tested for HIV when I live the life of a nun. I can’t believe that I COULD be part of the miniscule minority statistic that contracts HIV without practicing an unsafe lifestyle. Incredible rubbish, that’s what it is. I mean other people at least had the chance to experience abit of a f*ck or near nirvanic optortunity to ‘meet God’. All I got was an ungrateful drunk patient who yells out now and again that he really really needs to take the crap and then proceeds to spit in my face as I conscientiously try to sew up his facial cut (as not to leave a heavy scar). Don’t you think this is so unfair?

I’m relatively afraid to take this test even though I’m SO SURE there’s nothing wrong with me. Yet if I’m so sure why am I so hesitant and being in total denial about having to take the test? I don’t know. Just my mind screwing with myself. I never thought I ever had to worry about this. I’ve watched people around me fluctuate from one partner to another… raised my eyebrows at those who decides to shoot up instead of shop about like the rest of us… and thought to myself, “Phew! Well at least I’ll never need to worry ‘bout herpes, genital warts, hepatitis B and C or HIV.” I stand corrected: the part where I went *phew* on HIV.

There’s a particular protocol in Hasan Sadikin hospital that deals with used-needle-accidents. If an intern finds him/herself tercucuk with a used needle, he/she must report the incident IMMEDIATELY THAT VERY SECOND to the resident-on-duty. Immediately that intern is relieved off his/her duty and will be escorted by her supervising resident to Klinik Teratai (special HIV hospital polyclinic) where he/she will then be started on a course of anti-viral cocktail as well as counselling therapy. There will be a follow-up HIV test 6 months after post-window period.

Boy, quite the repot right?

As Miss MasMas would tell me gently, “Tawakal je-lah kita."

I'll get tested in November. Why November? I don't know.

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