Sunday, April 08, 2007

we people

I begin “jaga” in an hour’s time. The Sunday shift starts at 7pm ‘till 7 am of which I run home and take a quick bath before the day begins again at 8am: stationing at the polyclinic and then bed-side teaching / case reports / clinical science sessions with our preceptor. The entire morning and afternoon was spent updating this blog with new happenstance, surfing fashion sites / blogs and checking out Giles ‘Gold Collection’ for New Look. Super affordable and super Shelbulous pieces. Especially love the bangles!!

I’m dreading “jaga”. Notwithstanding the fact I have been “jaga”-ing for almost 2 years now, I have still not come to terms with it as a permanent lifestyle. You say 6 years (2 years as an intern, a year as a houseman, 3 more as a medical officer) impermanent? I say 6 years permanent!! I say 6 years a freaking’ century!! There are people who are tragically addicted to being on-call while there are others who are absolutely irresponsible bastards who shirk their obligations by creeping to the mess for a VERY LONG NAP… I’m neither. I don’t look forward to more “jaga” but I make sure I do my job when I’m on the job. It’s a job after all. So it should be done. Well. I try at least. It’s more tiring than you can imagine especially after a year. Most of all the fatigue eats into your spirit somehow leaving you feeling like your life is absolutely worthless. How is it worthless when you’re helping people? It can be worthy if you depend on this helping-people-activity for self-value. It’s not when you feel your life revolves around doing just that, breathing and eating. People should not mistake doctors as freakin’ service-robots sometimes. We people. I’m sure there are times when that McDonald’s drive-thru service operator would rather choose to pound his finger with a hammer than having to face yet another indecisive f*cker who cannot decide between whether he’d like an ice-cream sundae to go with his McValue Meal or not. Or that Nine West sales assistant who gives you the “Chr*st stop making me get another model / size / colour for you and start buying something already!!” attitude. We frown upon those who act upon whim and think to ourselves, “But it’s your job…” Damn I f*cking know it’s my job. So I continue to smile (sardonic masking in sugar-and-spice-all-that’s-nice) as I am instructed yet again to do something about their tummy ache or fuzzy-feeling in their head at 4.37 in the morning.

“Oh well I guess I mustn’t grumble,
I suppose that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.”

According to Wikipedia

Vegetarianism is the practice of not consuming the flesh of any animal, with or without also eschewing other animal derivatives, such as dairy products or eggs. Some vegetarians choose to also refrain from wearing clothing that has involved the death of animals, such as leather, silk and fur. Veganism, sometimes called "strict vegetarianism", excludes all animal products from diet and attire, whether or not their production has involved the actual death of an animal (dairy, eggs, honey, wool, silk and down feathers). Vegetarians have varied motivations including religious, cultural, ethical, environmental, social, economic, and health concerns.

Fruitarianism is a diet of only fruit, nuts, seeds, and other plant matter that can be gathered without harming the plant.
Macrobiotic diet is a diet of mostly whole grains and beans, though it allows the consumption of fish. Natural hygiene in its classic form recommends a diet principally of raw vegan foods.
Raw veganism is a diet of fresh fruit, nuts, seeds, and vegetables. Freeganism argues that all commodities produced under capitalism, not only those from animal sources, contribute to exploitation and avoid buying anything, including food. Freegans thus focus on acquiring foods and other commodities by means other than purchasing, including foraging for wild plants and gardening with intent to cause as little violence and ecological destruction as possible through their consumption. While many freegans are vegans or vegetarians, others will eat animal products that would otherwise go to waste on the belief that doing this does not encourage further animal exploitation.

Terminology related to vegetarianism is not universally accepted. All definitions agree that vegetarians do not eat "meat", but some interpret "meat" to include only mammals or to exclude fish and/or shellfish.
These distinctions have led to the following diets and terminology:
Pescetarianism (sometimes called "Pesco-vegetarianism") – A diet in which the only animals consumed are fish or other seafood.
Pollotarianism – A diet in which the only animals consumed are fowl.
Flexitarianism – A diet that consists primarily of vegetarian food, but that allows occasional exceptions

Then there’s the Long Case examination coming up. Suddenly the fright kicks in today and I feel like I wanna puke every 20 minutes. It’s a wake-up call for me to ‘start things cracking’ (as Dddy would always say). I have to start scheduling sh*t like finding a person to exchange my Sunday night duty ‘cos the exam’s the next day, and planning out my study plan in order to master all the skills by Saturday and working out an eating arrangement ‘cos I turn vegetarian starting today. My “nazar”-lah.. was that if I passed Pediatrics I would turn vegetarian a month. “Nazar” is something like a pledge or test of faith like that… umm like fasting for the Muslims, lent for the Christians and turning vegetarian for the Buddhist and Hindus. I CANNOT EXPRESS ENOUGH MY LOVE FOR MEAT. So this is definitely a test of faith of some kind-lah. Then there’s the birthday plans that has to be put on hold. I really really thought I could celebrate my birthday with a bash this year in view of it falling on a Saturday. A little sad about it. Oh well, I suppose I shouldn’t expect much since I’m a medical student. You might find this to be odd… what does it mean to not expect much since I’m a medical student? It meansss... we cannot put ourselves first. We can never anyway. Everything else seems too precious: exams, a patient’s life, obligations, family, bills, career, people, everything. I’m just afraid that one day I’ll wake up 40 years old with absolutely no personality and a pot full of frustration.

“Oh no it’s not the life I chose,
But I guess that’s the way that things go.”
… Lily Allen, Everything’s Just Wonderful …

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...