Tuesday, October 17, 2006

"somebody always has to cry / boyfriends and work don't mix"

“And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see
This is what I want to be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me…”

… KT Tunstall, Suddenly I See …

Today was supposed to be a Sunday I could use to catch up with work. I have so much pending in my TO-STUDY inbox tray I thought today would be the day I got some sh*t cleared out. This was not the case. I laid in bed ‘cos my sacrum-coccyx still hurt from the fall ‘till it was noon. Washed my hair and found that the “smoothing” effect was utterly useless (thank goodness I did NOT have to pay full price: and I’m reminded YET AGAIN why I should never get my hair done in Indon) and worse is that it actually EXAGGERATES the crappy haircut I got in Rogers. That and my face looks even more like the freakin’ moon. F*ck. *sigh* Things would be so much better if I was thin… Since I could not do any studying I headed over to Miss MasMas’ to finish up my 2 half-empty cigarette boxes. I wish I had alcohol. Must remember to bring a bottle of tequila / vodka back here the next time around.

Anyway MTV had The Hills on a marathon spree in the evening. Given the fact I haven’t got a tele (and cable) or a compromising schedule for that matter, I never really got the chance to follow Lauren’s (LC) show. I think I did catch an episode of it: The one ‘bout Xmas/New Year (the one where she got this really HOT black Chanel Ligne Cambon bag)Mannn I love the OC / Laguna Beach lifestyle / fashion. So I got to watch The Hills from the start ‘till the end of the season. I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE TOOK A PASS AT AN INTERNSHIP WITH FRENCH VOGUE. Jason is not even THAAAT hot or that anything for that matter!! He’s just a silly, young daddy’s little rich boy with too much money too spend and not enough drama in his life that he has to make some by creating nonsensical tension. I’m, like, WH…?!! Seriously WTF?!! Does a crummy relationship really measure up to Paris Fashion Week?? Maybe this is a single girl’s take to things. Maybe I’ve been single way too long that I don’t comprehend the weight similarities of having to salvage things with my kind-of-a-jerk-but-buys-me-great-flowers boyfriend in comparison with croissant & hot chocolat on the streets of Champs Elysees. I mean to me it’s not even a dilemma: boyfriend – featherweight and French Vogue – heavyweight.

I love watching The Hills. I love to see how cool LA American chicks dress up especially cool LA American Chicks who breathes TeenVogue air. My hair stand on ends everytime I get a glimpse of the insides of TeenVogue and their merchandise closet is to-die-for. How fabulous it must be to be able to run my hands through all of those luxurious fabrics and materials. It sounds absurd but I would have seriously enjoyed arranging all those shoes for their photo shoots. Lately I’ve been contemplating things: you know-lah the usual meaning-of-life crapsh*t. With me turning 26 next year and medicine taking over my past-present-future, dreams of ever being able to do fashion in Parsons seem to be disseminating into the air by the minute. You mean we really cannot have our cake and eat it?? You mean this is what my life is all about just ‘cos I was not born American / English / French with beautiful bouncy blonde hair and the waist of a corset?? You mean this is what being a dutiful FAT Chinese daughter is all about?? Oh. Yes, OH. I guess I’ll only watch people do the job I adore on TV. Praise the heavens for reality TV.

“Suddenly I see
This is what I want to be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me…”

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