Monday, October 30, 2006

back-to-Indon blues

It's times like these when I wish I have a boyfriend so he can just sit on my bed, be silent and watch me pack.


This is absolutely hilarious: Miss MasMas' check-in luggage. Abso-f*cking-lutely funny-lah with the bags of beras+Brahims, Gardenia bread and ketupat instan. I told her when she masak ketupat must call me. Dunno why she must bring Colgate... like-lah Indon don't have. Malaysian Malaysian *shakes head*

princesses day out

Wahhh..!! Me so in LURRVE with the new sticker-picture booth in Yogya, Ciwalk. Apart from some absolutely f*cked up ch*ba*kia-s, Japanese ROCKS!! Big time lagi!! The new sticker-picture concept is damn kau kawaii :) We can add stars and neon fonts and leopard print lettering and all the other nonsensical jazz. Ayo so fun. Wanna take more!!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

just looking

"there's things i want
there's things i think i want
there's things i have
there's things i wanna have..."

Paul Frank / Hard Candy Swiss Glamour Bag

Marc Jacobs ribbon watch
Missoni kitten-heels mules
Missoni fragrance with 'It' bag

Juicy Couture scrap book

Agent Provocateur Gwendoline corset. Oh how I'd like to buy me a WAIST!!

Coco Ribbion jewel roll. Basically it's a roll-ed up silk pouch with compartments to store your earrings, necklaces and other exciting accessories safely. This is TOO CUTE!!

Wishbone necklace. I so the LURVE the sentiment it brings...
"I'm just looking
I'm not buying
I'm just looking
It keeps me smiling..."

Saturday, October 21, 2006

happiness lies in acceptance

“Just one more breath, I beg you please
Just one more step, my knees are weak
My heart is sturdy but it needs you to survive
My heart is sturdy but it needs you

Don’t you want to breathe?
I know that you are strong enough to handle what I need

My capillaries scream
There’s nothing left to feed on
My body needs a reason to cross that line
Will you carry me there one more time?”

… Dashboard Confessional, Reason To Believe …

These few weeks I have been re-evaluating my life. I think I do it too often but better this than just accepting that whatever I have now is the best for me. These few months have been rough. I have not been able to float in any of the recent departments despite my efforts to rectify this lacking. It’s moments like this that makes me wonder if I’m doing the right thing ‘cos somehow I kinda suck at this. I’m the biggest dunce in my group and medical science is just SO DAMN HARD. I read it over and over again and yet I don’t “get it” like the rest of my fellow peers. How is this so?? What is it I’m NOT DOING ENOUGH?? Maybe my brains weren’t meant for this *sigh*… maybe I’m just generally too stupid for this, I don’t know. The self-doubt returns and I’m thrown into questioning whether I should stick with things or not. The problem is this is the ONLY thing working for me right now. Apart from this I have literally NOTHING. So I love fashion, so I wanna go to fashion school but let’s face it: I don’t have the talent. I don’t. I love it but I don’t have the skill. And then there’s this... doctor-thing which I don’t have a super passion for but funny enough here I am: a year to my M.D. How I managed to cling on for dear life and live to tell the tale, I have no explanation. I’m wondering if this is all there is to life. The fact that when I’m done with med school I will be forced to take the banal next step: houseman ship (and lotsa locum-ing to finance my high-maintenance fashion needs) and after that pursue a medical career, be it choosing a specialty or opening a clinic or working with a private hospital. Doesn’t that burning desire for arts get an opportunity to express itself?? Will I be too old and tired to opt for diversity then?? Should I just succumb to what society and my family expects of me?? Medical school makes a person grow up really fast. You’re exposed to every perspective of life: life, death, instant decisions, trivialities, responsibilities, a world of vast emotions, pretence… and despite all that, still attempt to maintain a functional, balanced existence. With medical school being the longest form of college, I tend to feel I have missed out on all the good things. I gave my twenties (the fun age box) away and while people my age partied, read books, went on dates, watched movies and celebrated the holidays I lay in bed trying to catch whatever sleep I’m allowed to. Life shouldn’t be this serious. At least not in my mid-twenties. How is it that I got so old so fast?? I see people around me bumbling through life and not taking the future seriously… g*dd I wish I could be that care-free. Perhaps I’m just too ambitious for my own good and now I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know what is happy. I don’t know what it’s like to wake up to something I love every morning. So I’ve decided. When all of this is over next year, I will go to fashion school. Houseman ship will have to wait at least 3 months because I REALLY think I owe it to myself to at least explore my interest and discover my potential. I just need to state a good case to Dddy ‘cos goodness knows how much he’s gonna flip when he finds out I’m gonna postpone houseman ship for a stupid fashion course in New York. You know-lah the combo of putting-medical-career-on-halt and American-design-school… worst form of dinner table conversations for Chinese fathers.

OK-lah better go and study now. My examiner couldn’t examine us today and scheduled for a 7am appointment tomorrow. I believe G*d-or-whoever-up-there decided we were not prepared to meet the Killer-of-killers and gave us yet another excruciating day to study. I met Ah JayJay and he said with Dr Killer-of-Killers, if 3 goes in (for the exam), 2 will come out passing and 1 will come out failing and in terms of Miss MuMu and I going in, you can predict who will come out the LOSER-lah!! OMG can die-lho after hearing sh*t like that. *takes deep breath* With the power of Jay Chou invested in me, I shall now mug my X-rays properly.

Friday, October 20, 2006

be careful what you wish for

Lesson learnt: wish for a GENEROUS examiner and not for an extra day to study. See now, get to prepare for the KILLER of all killers tomorrow instead of having Mr-Nice-Guy doctors today.
More ch*ba* luck I have-lah.

Some more Radiological photo reading/interpretation exams was such a disaster.


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

when the going gets tough

the tough stocks up on credit-card-food. I'm never really one when it comes to good budgeting skills. So by the time it nears the last week of the month I'm so skint I can't even afford to eat. I do what other spoilt rotten kids do. I use my sub-credit card and buy a week's worth of freaking gourmet sh*t and stuff them into my fridge. Then I needn't worry 'bout meals. Quite the clever right??

Random image: What I do in Radiology is I read some random fella's Xray, confirm my readings with the resident and type 'em up with a TYPEWRITER (goodness knows why we're still using ancient technology such as this) before submitting to the consultant. So like that-loh my life everyday in Radiology.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

"somebody always has to cry / boyfriends and work don't mix"

“And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see
This is what I want to be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me…”

… KT Tunstall, Suddenly I See …

Today was supposed to be a Sunday I could use to catch up with work. I have so much pending in my TO-STUDY inbox tray I thought today would be the day I got some sh*t cleared out. This was not the case. I laid in bed ‘cos my sacrum-coccyx still hurt from the fall ‘till it was noon. Washed my hair and found that the “smoothing” effect was utterly useless (thank goodness I did NOT have to pay full price: and I’m reminded YET AGAIN why I should never get my hair done in Indon) and worse is that it actually EXAGGERATES the crappy haircut I got in Rogers. That and my face looks even more like the freakin’ moon. F*ck. *sigh* Things would be so much better if I was thin… Since I could not do any studying I headed over to Miss MasMas’ to finish up my 2 half-empty cigarette boxes. I wish I had alcohol. Must remember to bring a bottle of tequila / vodka back here the next time around.

Anyway MTV had The Hills on a marathon spree in the evening. Given the fact I haven’t got a tele (and cable) or a compromising schedule for that matter, I never really got the chance to follow Lauren’s (LC) show. I think I did catch an episode of it: The one ‘bout Xmas/New Year (the one where she got this really HOT black Chanel Ligne Cambon bag)Mannn I love the OC / Laguna Beach lifestyle / fashion. So I got to watch The Hills from the start ‘till the end of the season. I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE TOOK A PASS AT AN INTERNSHIP WITH FRENCH VOGUE. Jason is not even THAAAT hot or that anything for that matter!! He’s just a silly, young daddy’s little rich boy with too much money too spend and not enough drama in his life that he has to make some by creating nonsensical tension. I’m, like, WH…?!! Seriously WTF?!! Does a crummy relationship really measure up to Paris Fashion Week?? Maybe this is a single girl’s take to things. Maybe I’ve been single way too long that I don’t comprehend the weight similarities of having to salvage things with my kind-of-a-jerk-but-buys-me-great-flowers boyfriend in comparison with croissant & hot chocolat on the streets of Champs Elysees. I mean to me it’s not even a dilemma: boyfriend – featherweight and French Vogue – heavyweight.

I love watching The Hills. I love to see how cool LA American chicks dress up especially cool LA American Chicks who breathes TeenVogue air. My hair stand on ends everytime I get a glimpse of the insides of TeenVogue and their merchandise closet is to-die-for. How fabulous it must be to be able to run my hands through all of those luxurious fabrics and materials. It sounds absurd but I would have seriously enjoyed arranging all those shoes for their photo shoots. Lately I’ve been contemplating things: you know-lah the usual meaning-of-life crapsh*t. With me turning 26 next year and medicine taking over my past-present-future, dreams of ever being able to do fashion in Parsons seem to be disseminating into the air by the minute. You mean we really cannot have our cake and eat it?? You mean this is what my life is all about just ‘cos I was not born American / English / French with beautiful bouncy blonde hair and the waist of a corset?? You mean this is what being a dutiful FAT Chinese daughter is all about?? Oh. Yes, OH. I guess I’ll only watch people do the job I adore on TV. Praise the heavens for reality TV.

“Suddenly I see
This is what I want to be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me…”

Monday, October 09, 2006


I’m in so much trouble. At least I think I’m in so much trouble. The problem I had with the nuclear department has just become more complicated. It all started ‘cos I went home for the holidays and missed the nuclear department workshop. I guess it’s just my plain crappy luck that the nuclear department decides to host their VERY FIRST workshop (only a freakin’ 2 hour lecture) after a year of NOT having any (!!) during my group’s rotation. So this cuh-razy doctor-in-charge decides to go on a power trip by banning whoever that missed the workshop from attending the department. *rolls my eyes* Now he’s making life even more miserable for the lot of us by making MORE rules that would delay us from being able to enter the department ‘till eons later. I don’t know if anything I’m saying makes sense ‘cos I’m just so confused and lost and frustrated and all those crappy emotions. I don’t know how to solve this. F*ck-lah… the longer this problem persists, the longer I have to stay in Indon.

Some ch*ba* luck I have-lah.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

merdeka celebrations with more dermatology FYIs

Come, come allow me to yabber ‘bout a couple of skin diseases in conjunction with “tanggal tiga puluh satu bulan lapan lima puluh tujuh”…

Erysipelas (and cellulitis) is an acute spreading of infection within the dermal and subcutaneous layer of the skin. It is characterized by a red, hot, painful area of the skin near the site of bacterial entry. This old man came in with an infected foot. Prior to this he had an allergic reaction to chicken which made his legs itch. Scratching fast forward and now his lower right leg hurts like f*cks. All the scratching could be a form of trauma to the skin that caused microabrasions (micro cuts in skin) to happen allowing infection entry into tissue spaces. It takes afew days for the infection to happen and the patient may suffer from fever, chills, fatigue and anorexia. If the patient does not show signs of sepsis (heavy systemic infection), NaCl (sodium chloride; saline) compresses can be administer to the wound + immobilization / rest + elevation + antibiotics. Without proper management the tissues will necrotize (rot).

Tinea cruris is a dermatophytic (dermatophytes being a unique fungal group capable of infecting nonviable keratinized tissue) infection of the groin, pubic region and thighs also known as the ‘jock itch’. Usually infecting men, warm and humid environment + tight clothing + obesity also contribute to the development of this disease. It can last from months to years and it’s the intense itch that drives patients to get help. An old man came with Tinea cruris all over his groin and ass. It was scaling and slightly dark in shade. After eradication of Tinea Cruris with antifungal agents, reinfection can be prevented by wearing less layers of clothing and immediately wash all clothes worn.
Pityriasis versicolor a type of yeast (usually Malassezia furfur) infection and causes white hypopigmented or red / dark hyperpigmented patches on the skin. Your grandmother probably calls it panau. She probably said you got it ‘cos you immediately showered after sweating. It is not true-lah. You will find it itches more severely after a good sweat or in warm, humid temperature. After treatment, the patches may take a longer while to get eliminated. Patients should avoid layers, tight clothes or materials which can restrict sweat absorption. Symptoms may recur.

Leprosy is a chronic disease of the Mycobacterium family (the family that turut brings you Tuberculosis) that affects major sites of involvement: the skin, peripheral nervous system, upper respiratory tract, eyes and testes. Your grandmother probably calls it kusta and it’s also known as Hansen’s disease / Morbus Hansen. You can contract this disease through skin contact, respiratory system, gastrointestinal system and animal hosts like armadillos and monkeys as well as from flora: the Sphagnum moss. The cardinal signs of leprosy are anaesthetic patches on the skin, history of contact with leprosy patients / living in endemic leprosy areas and positive active Tuberculoid bacillus. There are many classifications of the disease which can be explored by your doctor. If you just came from a leprosy endemic area or had contact with a leprosy patient, been swimming in a lake covered with Sphagnum moss, have armadillos as pets or came from petting monkeys in the wild… lookout for pale patch(es) on the skin that has no sensation, clawing of your fingers/toes and transfiguration into what they call banana fingers, your features turning into Simba’s (fasies leoninas: lion face), glove and stocking syndrome: numbness in your hands and feet and thickening of nerves (you feel you can pluck your nerves on your elbows / behind your knees / side of neck like a guitar). I know I know you’re thinking, “HAHH kusta-ah?? I thought WHO declare eradication of leprosy last time” Yea… but unfortunately for us due to poverty and unhygienic sanitation, leprosy makes its second debut as a re-emerging disease in Indon. After the first few years of hardcore antibiotic multi-drug therapy, the most difficult problem is managing the changes secondary to neurologic deficits. A lot of rehabilitation and physiotherapy would be involved in improving functions of fingers and toes.

Psoriasis is said to be ‘one of the miseries that beset mankind’. What are the others-ah?? Dunno-lah… bankruptcy?? Early incidence of psoriasis peaks at the age of 22.5 years while the late incidence of psoriasis peaks at the age of about 55. an early onset of psoriasis usually predicts a more severe and long-lasting disease with positive family history. This hereditary disease manifests as sharply marginated reddish lesions with silvery white scales. It may occur anywhere in the body but there are classic predilection sites such as the scalp, behind ears, elbows, knees, feet soles, palms, groin and the small of the back. It can occur in dual forms: eruptive inflammatory types with multiple droplet / coin lesions which has a greater tendency towards resolution or chronic stable plaques which present for months and years. Trigger factors which precipitate psoriasis are physical trauma (Koebner’s phenomenon), infection, stress, drugs and alcohol as a putative trigger factor. Psoriasis happens ‘cos of alteration of cell kinetics of keratinocytes with a shortening of the cell cycle resulting in 28 times the normal production of epidermal cells meaning cell death and shedding in an extreme rate in comparison to normal skin cells. Psoriasis is managed through corticosteroid therapy: topical and systemic, UVA / UVB phototherapy, oral retinoids or methotrexate (used in miscarriage or cancer patients).

Scabies is a horrid infestation by the mite Sarcoptes scabiei.
(to be continued)
P.S. (disclaimer): info courtesy of Fitzpatrick Dermatology

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

just looking

"there's things i want
there's things i think i want
there's things i have
there's things i wanna have..."

While I was hibernating in Indon, LeSportsac decided to do me one up by producing PINK TOKIDOKI (Citta Rosa). PINK TOKIDOKI. OMGGGGG.. for the life of me there should be some kinda warning radar letting chicks know 'bout news like these. Ya ampunnn they look so divine and now my other tokidoki just looks bleurgh :P

Denaro in Citta Rosa

Buon Viaggio in Citta Rosa

Bella in Citta Rosa

All the while, I patiently await my St Louis Jr GOYARD (Yes you sucker-folks, me gonna get her very own Goyard-lho. Me so happy!!) to arrive from Le Petit Paris...

Christmas seems so far away. Come December come!!

Absolutely crushing on this Juicy Couture Liv suede clutch in tan

HEAR HEAR!! Juicy couture velour make-up organizer is soo soo HOT!! I can mati.

Some more got umbrella that can protect me from rain or shine in absolute style. I so HEART Juicy!!

And the Juicy charms.. OH THE CHARMSSS!! Arghhhh..!!

Somebody buy me something!!


P.S, disclaimer: images courtesy of LeSportsac, Goyard, Juicy Couture at Neiman Marcus.

my favourite things

"when the dogs bite
when the bees sting
when i'm feeling sad..."
That day, I went shopping. Then I went shopping again. And then after that I went shopping.

I so the lurrve this Chemical Labs pouch. The smiley side opens up to a mirror. Some more on 50% discount. Super buy!! It now stores my crap like face oil-blotter and spectacles wipe.

Ayooo Victoria Beckham Rock & Republic denim PLUS Ralph Lauren new polo top. SO the POSH :)

Actually I cannot stand knee-length denim shorts but these Evisu ones were TOO cheap and they weren't half that bad in the mirror. Must be lying mirrors!! Yalah now you know my stupid GIGANTO size-lah. Happy?!!

*pause* in St*rbucks for a breather...

Me so f*cking in love with Emily the Strange. That's a "Love At First Fright" tee and "Bad Luck Kitty Paw" which is so so so the hilarious. Got myself Japanese highlighers too: sok rajin baca!!

I finally found an Indon sanitary pad I can give thumbs up to. I have not used Laurier in ages (ever since M'sian versions switched materials and the plactic sort gave me rashes) and what surprised me is the innovative protective side crinkles like how they have them on baby diapers to really really secure 'fluids' from escaping. Well done Laurier Superguard!!

Made for a princess...

Therefore, made for ME :)
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