Friday, September 22, 2006

anesthesiologically speaking, i'm ok

Tired-lah. This surgery seems to last forever!! We've been at it since half-past 8 and it's been 3 hours since. Mann... I'm cold and I'm tired. I ache all over and it does not help that blood is gushing outta my vagina like the Niagara Falls... All the while jotting down 15-minute interval of vital signs.

I got my first attempt at intubation today. About time since others are already searching for their third opportunity. Anywayy.. I wasn't successful the first time around. Despite being so absolutely sure I visualized the epiglottis, I ended up stuffing the tracheal tube down the esophagus instead.. pumping air into the stomach and NOT the lungs. I redid the gig and thank goodness this time it was right. Y'know, I do it so well on the freaking mannequin I figured I'd ace this in real life BIG time. Boy was I cocky!!

"I have a crush on you. I hope you feel the way that I do. I get a rush when I'm with you. Oh I've got a crush on you, a crush on you..."

It's official!! Mr Hotstuff is back in town!! This is SO ODD. I thought my internship in Surgery would have been the last opportunity EVER to get to know him well before he returns to Jakarta to marry his long-time beau and live happily ever after. I was so disappointed to find that he did not bother to stay for the last morning report (I did for him though.. I'M SO lame) but contented myself with all the sweet quirky moments we had managed to share. Back then I used to pray everyday that we'd have a chance to take a lovely picture together and with him gone I figured it just was never meant to be. He was faithful to his chick and I happen to be FAT. So he's back and supposedly back in the market (this I have yet to confirm). He intends to take up residency in the Orthopaedic Surgeon department. He did tell me his interest lies there (can't help but love a man with a plan!!). Everyone is giving me the hardest time about this 'cos I almost never have Indon crushes and this one I fell for hard!! Despite the fact I never once mentioned a thing while I was in Surgery but people could tell my penchant for him. It was only after he left that I figured it was safe to discuss my affections for him in public. I never thought the idiot would return!! And I'm still FAT. F*ck this sucks.

Then there's this new person, Dr Smarties. He is freaking intelligent. Not hot but I could pass him off as 'kinda cute maybe'. The first time he met me he probably thought I was nuts. I was yabbering away with my usual nonsensical sh*t and he asked me before I left if I was married :D The next day he invited me to go makan with him. I didn't go. I don't know why. I know absolutely nothing about him but as much as I'm curious about him, I couldn't really be bothered as well. Prior to this I came to a personal decree that I'm going to give the whole boy business abit of a rest for now. My attempts at searching for my soul mate were unfruitful and the whole Mr Orange fiasco really left me deflated. Personally it's like I don't know what I want. Going on dates left me feeling so *shrug* unsure. I really thought I wanted a relationship yet I couldn't bring myself to allow them in. And with Mr Orange.. I don't know what I was thinking there either. So decided to stick with the plan and just do A LOT of flirting / casual dating sans agenda.

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