Sunday, July 23, 2006

let’s get ready to rumble!!

(msg)Miss PetchiPetchi: Br dgr dari radio ‘ntar jam… 0200 – 0300 disuruh siaga. Tktnya da gmpa su2lan… tlg fwd kesemua temen2 loe. ALERT.Miss JoeJoe: This news is juz announced thru radio: there might be some tremors fr 2 – 3am. Pls stay awake n forward this 2 ya frens. Its not a joke!

F*ck.

Don’t really know what to do.

Mr Orange called. It's the FIRST time he ever called me in Indon. Torn between believing he cares for me or perhaps all there is to it is that (horrors of horrors).. he pities me :( How is it that everytime a boy I like treats me good, I can never give myself credit for his attention?? My self-esteem is lower than I imagine I suppose.

“If I have to love myself
Tell me how to love myself
What is there to love about myself..?”
… Sixpence None The Richer, Can’t Catch You …

Just a little overwhelmed that he rang 'cos I never expected him to. It's a nice feeling but I am very careful to not allow myself to fall into the same hole again. Me treads lightly *pitter patter pitter patter* over this matter. On one hand I really want to believe that he something-something me (everyone is adamant that he does). On the other, I cannot help but feel that if I do allow myself the luxury of thinking so, it'll only push me into a farther fall. A part of me craves for all these affections and am so enjoying it yet another is so busy preparing myself for protection against disappointment. How come he's so much nicer now than before?? How come he's being such a better friend now too?? He should just be his old jack-ass self. *sigh* Not that he was ever much of a jack-ass, I'm just trying to make me detest him and as always I'm failing miserably. It would be easier for me to let things go. Oh bother!!

(conversation)
Mr Orange: Am I a great friend or what? I bet I'm the only who called right?moi: ... Ya.
Mr Orange: I mean I'm sure you msg-ed a million people... Or am I the only one you told?moi: Only you worr. 'Cos when I msg-ed you earlier and you told me to not take it so seriously, I figured that I might have been blowing things out of proportion so I didn't tell anyone else-loh.
He asked me if I'm calmer now that he called me. I.. Of course-lah. I enjoyed our phone conversation. He made me laugh.. He made me happy. He MAKES me happy. I reacted pretty rubbishly though. I gave the impression that I felt he only called to make sure I'd live long enough to buy him a car [we made a pledge to buy a luxury item for the other, in his case a Mini Cooper, should any of us make it BIG in life]. Maybe it's both our egos in the way that things cannot get better (??). YEARGHHH must stop thinking he something-something me. He's just being a nicer friend. He's JUST being a nicer FRIEND... *continues to chant this under my breath*

(conversation)
Mr Orange: What are you doing?moi: Packing some essentials.
Mr Orange: No need to bring anything, just bring yourself. Take cash and documents.. Enough!!moi: But what about my laptop?!! I need to bring my computer!! There are a lot of things in there that are dear to me!!Mr Orange: What the heck you wanna do with your laptop when there's no electricity?!!moi: I... got some rare CDs too. Hard to get in shops alreadyy..
Mr Orange: AYO just take yourself only!!
Mr Orange: Are you alone or with your friends?
moi: Alone.
Mr Orange: What?!! Go lepak with people 'till it's over-lah.moi: It's OK-lah. I got my game plan all sorted liao. The moment stuffs start falling on my head, I'll grab my survival pack and run into the streets. That's basically all I've got for the moment. Think more only when things really happen-loh.Mr Orange: eh I wanna see you come home in one piece ah.moi: Yes-lah so you can get your car mah!!Mr Orange: Yea.. OK-lah not only that also I care-lah ok.moi: Care for your car more like it.Mr Orange: And the whole 10 years friendship thing [BIG OUCH for me + *gag*]moi: Right. Right. Whatever. [so all he thinks important is the fact he knew me pretty long *rolls eyes*]
moi: I'm not gonna, like, die or anything.
Frankly, I was actually pretty afraid. I mean, yea so my BIG-BIG talk of wishing-something-happening-to-Bandung-that's-crucial-enough-to-get-them-TUDM-army-chopper-over could actually come TRUE and all I'm praying for now is for it to please NOT happen!! I seriously could LOSE EVERYTHING. I was looking around my room and I see all my sh*t which I love which could go away in a *snap* should the quake really really happen. I cannot part with my excellent CD collection or my Stella Adidas yoga mat or my photo albums or my Muji paper shredder or my Will & Grace DVD collection (can you imagine a life without the Karen-Jack-combo??) or my Zara silk summer skirts or the guitar I won in a Beatles competition, adoi the list is endless. ‘Cos I’m a m-m-m-Material Girl!! *bleurgh*

Funny how Mr Orange and me are friends again. Maybe Mr Tutor was right after all. Perhaps this is a relationship worth the keep. At least if I died today it's reassuring to know I left the world last hearing the voice of a boy I...

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...