Friday, June 30, 2006

just looking: hello kitty mp3 player

"there's things i want
there's things i think i want
there's things i have
there's things i wanna have..."

"This ultra compact MP3 player will come in three versions, 256MB, 512MB, and 1GB capacities. It comes with special edition headphones, USB cable, battery charger, and carrying case. The volume control/song shuttle are the two buttons found on the feet, power/play button is found on the left hand, and the hold button is on the right hand. Not only is this an MP3 Player but a voice recorder as well, which is activated by the dark pink button found right in the middle of the device. You can purchase the Hello Kitty Keychain MP3 Player now in Japan, there are no plans to release this stateside."

OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. *hyperventilating* This is out of this world. *fanning ownself with sleek fingers* OMG. I HEART this oh-so-much and I would literally fly to Tokyo just so that I can get my hands on the 1GB one. Tragedy!! Why must good things only happen in kawaii-land?!! So NOT FAIR.

"i'm just looking
it keeps me smiling..."


P.S., disclaimer: image and text courtesy of TechEBlog

just looking: tokidoki summer '06

"things i want
things i think i want
things i have
things i wanna have"
Dolce in Playground
Denaro in Playground

Caramella in Playground

Bella in Playground black

Buon Viaggio in Playground

Angioletto in Playground

Bambione in Playground olive

"i'm just looking

it keeps me smiling..."


P.S., disclaimer: images of LeSportsac

you friend me or not?

I met someone today.

That someone turned out to be a new friend.

A new friend I believe I would like to keep for very long.

It has been such a crazy week. And ever since the whole so-called armageddon bit with Mr Orange, today has been the return of a fun-filled joyful outing. New friend might have saved me. I’m not sure if it meant that I grew up in 3 hours but a lot of perspective changed in 3 hours. Boys ARE indeed from Timbuktoo. They speak a whole different language than us girls. This is weird. I actually am SO OK with everything. Maybe ‘cos now I GET it. I’m not in constant questions or confusion or fighting with myself. After the talk, the two sides of me decided to reconcile and give this ‘friend’ thing a try.

"Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me"
...Nickelback; Savin' Me...

Mr Orange must think I’m so nuts. Haha. I know Miss ChongChong thinks I’m nuts. I never stopped thinking I was nuts *giggle*

Now's the hard part: I’ve got to ask him out and rekindle the friendship that I miserly pushed away.

P.S: Laundry Bar saved the day. People should really go there to talk about things. They get solved like *snap* Guess it would help to bring productive company too ;)
P.P.S: Miss Twin-Hana and Miss Twin-Ziah's (they're twins) father passed away afew days ago. This is very very horrid. I've met him. He's a sweet man. It was lung cancer which metastasized to the brain. They only managed to get it diagnosed accidentally via X-ray and by then, it was already in the end stage. I realized something very important: life's too short to shut people out.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

superman says hello

Sometimes even Superman's not good enough for our mothers. Aiii...

Monday, June 26, 2006

these are afew of my favourite things

Rejection remedy:

I didn't really intended to buy anything 'cos I was SO NOT in the mood. All I wanted was to sit still and think. Frankly, there really was no point in thinking as what happened had already happened. But what's a girl to do but to ponder and contemplate and discern..? That was 'till I laid my eyes on these fabulous Vuitton sandals!!

I mean just look at them. I swear I can see sandy white beaches, Santorini rooftops, cream Grecian chiffon dresses, shells and the big blue sea. I fell in love with them instantly. And they're damn versatile too. They came in wedges but HIPPY me prefer flats. They'd go well with cute lil' frocks and sexy slacks and mini denim skirts and capri pants and shorts and ohh the list goes on. I can totally see myself in my Miss Selfridge black indian empire dress and these winners cheek kissing Marc Jacobs. He'd totally think I'm like the next best thing after Lil' Kim and invite me to go cruising with him to Bahamas or something. MARC JACOBS, please FRIEND ME!!

four-leaf clover / lucky grass

As Sophiekins was getting her fortune told by Master Chin (yes, remember Master Chin??) in Lot10, Mmmy and I pottered about the flea-marketish exhibition. That was when I was stopped in my steps: YIKESSS four-leaf clover accessories!! I've seen them online before, like 5 years back, but they were only available in the U.S. and I didn't know how I could get it shipped here to Malaysia. I know they probably overpriced it with the rental in Lot10 being so impossible and all that but I really had to get my paws on something. Basically they're REAL four-leaf clovers (I mean it looks pretty authentic to me but what do I know 'bout plants?!) pressed into silver glass pendants. I have no idea how they get the clovers, they probably used genetic-engineering knowledge and harvested a park full of 'em or they might have gotten dirt-poor third-world country underagers screening through every petal to find the big-4s!! Aren't they the cutest lucky charm ever?! ME LIKES ME LIKES!! Mmmy saw me fawning over the grass and informed me that they're so-the-rave in China right now 'cos some of her office people were searching for them when the company was on holiday in China. Oh it's no wonder, they brought Chinese versions in. Oh whatever. ME LIKES and me getting!!

"i opened up my eyes"

It’s the Sunday after. Feel rotten. I can’t believe I made myself go through another rejection.


I don’t want to chase the boys anymore-lah. F*cking malas now. Everytime the same damn result: tricks, lies. I always thought it’s ‘cos they never got to know me ‘cos the FAT factor probably turned them off before the fabulous ME got to shine through. Standard-lah. I really feel like pouring a bucket of chicken sh*t on those people who claims that in the end it doesn’t JUST boils down to looks because trust me: IT MATTERS BIG TIME. I know it shouldn’t matter anymore but I’m gonna brood over this for abit (it’s only been a DAY, cut me some slack-lah!!).

What was it about me that made him not want to run the extra mile?? ‘Cos I think I’m so worth it. Then again of course I will THINK I’m all THAT. I should try to look from an outside person point of view. Everyone is so f*cking surprised I didn’t manage to reel him. Sigh.

Last night when I was queuing up to get my Black Tan (Guinness Black Party), I overheard a chick’s conversation.

Chick: Ohh… so when your girl not around only you call me-lah. I’m your Comfort Woman-lah. Your KL Comfort Woman.

My mind immediately went into overdrive. I had an epiphany. I was Mr Orange’s COMFORT WOMAN. OMG!! OMG!! *tear* I think I definitely deserve much more than the value of a Comfort Woman. I could not believe this. Didn’t our friendship even MEAN ANYTHING to him?? He had the cheek to shove me into that position. *sigh* I did take the bait so I’m to blame as well. I guess, you couldn’t find a blinder fool.

“I'm here
Searching through the wreckage
Wondering why the message never go through
And I found I was placed on my faith
How could I put my faith in you?”
…Pussycat Dolls, How Many Times How Many Lies…

As Mmmy was doing some retail therapy in Starhill, I just roamed around in my thoughts. I had to snap out of it once in awhile to help her make some purchase choices. As we were canoodling about in Vuitton, I came to a personal conclusion. I believe in the end, coming out in the open, was the better alternative. Or I’d be excruciatingly putting myself through constant mental torture sifting through every action to find if there were indeed any romantic innuendos trapped in between. Now I know it was JUST ME. He didn’t feel a thing. He was just a f*cker, like the rest of them, (damn, when did he turn into the rest of them??) out to have a good time. If there’s one thing I wanted him to know, was that all I ever did for him was me-the-fabulous-friend and NOT me-giddy-schoolgirl-in-love. He’d probably think, now, that all I’ve ever done for him was because I fancied him but it isn’t the case. I admit, I am more biased to favour him above other friends but whatever I’ve done to love him was pure FRIENDSHIP. The only difference is that lately I was more willing to drop everything just to be with him. I was thiiis close to sacrificing make-up time (Guinness Black) to watch a movie with him. Yeah that’s the schoolgirl-in-love quality coming into play.

And I think if he wants extra quality time with me it comes with a price. And that price is having to be my boyfriend-loh. ‘Cos if he wants girlfriend treatment, he should just go scrape it off the Lemang Lady or that Old Bag… and not worm it off me. And it’s a lesson for me too. I shouldn’t simply simply easy easy let people trick me like this also. Cannot be too easy to give my love away. WILL BE VERY SELECTIVE FROM NOW ON. Must not let boys trick me into thinking they’re interested in me ;P

I think the most painful pill I had to swallow was learning that in the end boys are pretty much jerks after all. I really didn’t think he was the sort. I can’t believe I said that: that I didn’t think he was the sort to be a jerk. ‘Cos I really didn’t. I had so much belief and respect for him. Maybe I’m too ignorant or so young when it comes to issues of love / romance / relationships. And I hate it that I am. Can’t believe everyone was kinda right ‘bout him. I’m like WHAT?!! I should know him better but in that sense I must be f*cking dim-witted-lah. I must stop myself from always wanting to save him. Cannot cannot… I have to learn to SAVE myself. It’s good also-lah this thing happened, let me really learn to not be emotionally dependent on him.
*sigh* This is hard.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

dorothy (jerry maguire): maybe love shouldn't be such hard work

I have officially moved on. As in I’ve begin the process of moving on.

moi: urgent forum tonight with urban kin to discuss aftermath of my declaration of like to Mr Orange. Pick you all up to Miss ChongChong’s place in Kota Kemuning at 9-ish.

Kota Kemuning’s like FAR. It’s like the suburbs where it’s quiet and serene and family-friendly. Ah Clar lives in this 5 storey condo which has, like, the loveliest pool and a brilliantly peaceful setting. I like it. A lot. When the three of us were trying to figure out our way to the place, it felt like 3 city girls taking a road trip to go find their married friend in the Hamptons. So Sex and The City weiii… boy, are the suburbs far or what. It’s like another country (and we didn’t even pack out passports!!).

I showed them the brown-paper folder. They said they could cry. They said they didn’t understand how is it that Mr Orange didn’t just fall in love with me there and then, sweep me into his arms and kiss me. Oh well *shrugs*. If you don't like, you don't like. I should know.

Last night they made me demand closure from Mr Orange. I didn’t want to. I felt that by him NOT responding that day was closure enough. They (Miss ChongChong, Miss PalnaPalna and Miss ChewChew) felt I did not give him room to answer since I immediately clammed up post-declaration. But I know him so well. If he wanted me he would have said it already. He didn’t. I get it.

"You’ve gotta be fair to her. She loves you. If you don’t love her, you’ve got to tell her!!"
... Rod Tidwell; Jerry Maguire...

They made me msg him: “I miss you.” I didn’t want to. I didn’t understand the purpose of doing so. Why should I subject myself to rejection repeatedly?? I’m already hurt enough. I didn’t understand the objective of having to do that!! Don’t we ALREADY HAVE closure?? I don’t understand. I could not understand and I didn’t want to understand. I didn’t want to do it. They were not going to back off either. They waited and they didn’t allow me to go home (we were at Kota Kemuning and I wasn’t the one driving). They insisted I took their advice. Their excuse was for all the time they heeded my advice it’s my turn to heed theirs. The funny thing is that I just realized I never once asked them for emotional help. This was the first time in many many years that I let my guard down on them and allowed myself to be guided. It was not easy. There were moments when I wish I didn’t ‘cos I felt they didn’t understand. And I kept going round and round the g*ddamn bush which absolutely irritated them. Now I know how it felt to be on the receiving end of advice. I was always so pushy with them to follow my suggestions. It’s not that simple to accept advice sometimes. In the end I succumbed (after a bottle of Miss ChongChong’s expensive red wine). I msg-ed. And as I had already predicted, he didn’t reply.

I began to cry. Haven't felt this broken since SunshineP. Which surprised me because all the while this was happening I didn’t even shed a tear but the moment the stylus clicked “SEND”, everything clicked and the sobbing began. Everything, now, is of no consequence because by doing this I LOSE him. It was my biggest fear. And here it is slamming into my face. I will from that second onwards LOSE him. I never wanted it to despite knowing it was inevitable. I didn’t want our fairytale friendship to end. It was getting so good. I never felt so happy in my life. But deep inside I knew it wasn’t the kind of happiness I wanted ‘cos at the back of my mind there will always be shrieks of doubt regarding our relationship that I was just too much in denial to admit. How did I let things get so complicated?

Anyway all that happened. And I took up Miss ChongChong’s fag offer. This is where nicotine’s pharmaceutical value is highly appreciated.

This marks something pretty monumental. First and foremost, he REALLY DID NOT FANCY ME and was indeed jerking me around. And secondly, I will have to cut this friendship off entirely. This was also suggested by Sophiekins’ tarots. It said: “that a risk had been taken and that things have been shaken up, he’s a f*cker, lots of mindgames were involved and what is left for me to do now is to be bitter.” Wait?? Wasn’t NOT being bitter the reason why I was doing all these in the first place? But then I realized that I HAVE to be bitter towards him. I never was. I loved him so so so so so much that I was never bitter to him. But now I know, I am prepared to be bitter to him. He lost out on me. I would have been so great for him. I’m a great person and he is NOT worth my time after all. And I suppose better now then having invested more in this relationship and have it blown into my face. OK. They were right I suppose. I’m worth so much more than this. I hope I can continue to convince myself this.

Frankly, it’s not as hard as I thought it would be. Right now I’m kinda OK. Or maybe still recovering from the shock. It’s just that now I have to figure out how to move on.

“She'll let you in her car
To go drivin' round
She'll let you into the parts of herself
That'll bring you down
She'll let you in her heart
If you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don't think twice”

…Bruce Springsteen; Secret Garden…

operation mark ii

So ‘bout the Guinness Black Party. I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE. Sometimes I think I timed it all really well ‘cos after getting your heart crushed, the next best thing would be to go all out and get thrashed. Miss YinYin picked me up from Bangsar Shopping Centre (where Dddy left me off) and we hung out at her boyfriend’s place ‘till we finally realized he could not make it in time to the part after all. We were really fortunate that Miss YinYin’s friend Ah Choong (or something like that: me bad with names) was heading there as well and could give us a ride. His ride was nice. I was wondering what car it was ‘cos it was so BIG and COMFORTABLE. When we stepped out into the parking area… aiya no wonder-lah: BMW-lho!!

Met Miss BellaBella there and we went to get drinks. WAAAAAH so many young people. I was gawking most of the time. The chicks were slut 2020-lho (me also kekeke)!! Told Miss BellaBella that I finally told Mr Orange all that jazz. She thought I was the bravest thing on earth. Hey, Miss YinYin said that too. Wait a minute, so did Miss NingNing, Miss ChewChew, Miss PalnaPalna, Miss ChongChong etc… I don’t wanna be that. I don’t wanna be that brave thing. Makes me wonder why I even did it. Oh well onto party mode again… I LOOOVEEEEE the music that they played. The DJs did a freaking great job remixing the R&B tunes. I mean there’s this part where they kept replaying the start of Pussycat Dolls’ “Beep” and it drove me CUH-RAZYYY!! Black Tan which is a mixture of Guinness and Lager is umm… hmm… different drink. Never had anything like it. Miss YinYin and Miss BellaBella knew lotsa people there. I, of course, knew noone. Miss YinYin’s friend Ah Dri was some bigshot with the models.. own some bra-company and in charge of model selection and all that crap who. Must be some male dream job-lah. Which man wouldn’t crave this?!! So literally he was surrounded by beautiful people. After abit the Guinness Party got old. Miss BellaBella headed home ‘cos she was tired while I tagged Miss YinYin for more fun. We headed down to Bar Savanh. I’ve never been there. Wahhh met more modelesque people. His friends who were in the glamour industry were doing the boogies and I felt like I was entering this world I had never encountered. You’d think that I was inferior being surrounded by models and all them beautiful people but I was not. I was more enamoured by the fact I was surrounded by such company. Besides I’m so not in the league so I didn’t really bother. I just did lotsa of hellos and hi-s :) Just as we arrived Bar Savanh, the crowd decided it was getting old so the rest of them headed to Zouk. I’ve never BEEN to Zouk. So pardon my ignorance. Great interiors but not really my sort of music. They then headed to Velvet which was part of Zouk. There things settled and they called for drinks. We likes the free drinks. We don’t care if it’s green tea and whisky. We likes free drinks.

I really like the fact that whenever the entourage entered some place we’d all be muttering under our breaths, very nonchalantly: “We’re with Ah Trick.” How cool is that?!! Ah Trick’s like this SOMEBODY on EVERYBODY’S GUEST LIST. Wahhh what it’s like to be him yah??

Those boys. They were smooth-lah. I can tell that they were ultimate players. They were so smooth that at one point in the car while we were just talking in my utter wooziness, next thing I know his hands were... KAKAKA.

I wish I had a pad where my friends could hang out. I could throw parties and get pissed and MAKE OUT. Damn after what happened in the evening, the ultimate solution is to make out and get some relief!!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

“girl, get comfortable.. we bout to do something you neva done before, baby not the usual, tonight we gettin' unpredictable"

Last night was SO SO GOOD. Regret not taking pictures. I was having too fun a time to bother to want to record it. Made the crappy evening before so much easier to bear.

The day started out beautifully. I woke up, tottered about in my room. About an hour to noon I started to get ready. As I skipped out the door, I picked my brown folder up and placed it in the pocket of the backseat of my car just in case I needed it. When I arrived in front of his place, I just KNEW that he would still have been asleep ‘cos he probably watched the Brazil-Japan game at 3 am and would have been too sleepy to hear his phone msg beep. I msg-ed him to tell him I was coming 20 minutes before. I gave him a ring and indeed he just pried his eyes open. Sometimes I’m so astonished at how much I know him like the back of my hand. As he struggled to get into my car, he complained about how early I was. He did mention his appointment was at 1pm. It was as if Wednesday didn’t happen. Things seemed so normal.

We arrived pretty early and he was second in place to meet the orthopaedic surgeon. The nurse praised him for being so fortunate to be early and scoring such a good position. He then praised me for his fortune. I liked it.

The time in the hospital was nice. Again, the flirtation!! I admit I loved every minute of it. I liked the idea of being his girlfriend. I liked it a lot. I didn’t understand a lot of things: the way he stroke my hand, the way he sometimes looked at me, the way he touched my legs, the fact he wanted to sit beside me, the way he does little scratches on my arm (he had hives all over from a food-allergy reaction: he looked so f*cking funny it was just amusing to look at him scratching himself red)… why was he doing all that?? But of course all these hooked me on even more. I was ready to send him home but he suggested lunch so we went for lunch. I took him to Dragon-I in 1Utama ‘cos he’s never been there. He was peeved they didn’t have a smoking section. I always find that he looks most hilarious when he’s peeved. I told him the whole TGV/GSC anecdote. He found it pretty comical. He then proceeded to suggest we watch a movie that evening. Half of me was worried that I couldn’t get ready in time for the Guinness Black party that night but the other half was willing to f*ck it off to spend more quality time with him. Why is he suggesting a movie? I didn’t think of it then but I’m thinking of it now. Is it possible that he’s starting to get addicted to my company too? In the end, GSC kept being engaged. I think it must have been a sign for me to go ahead with the pre-party primping instead.

As I drove him home, I wondered whether I should go ahead and go with the declaration plan or just let the day end perfectly as it is.

"Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you What I feel about you.
Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will, For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will, For you I will, For you I will"
...Teddy Geiger; For You I Will (Confidence)...

This kept playing in my mind on repeat.
We neared his house and I figured “Ahh F*CKS IT. Let’s just get it over with.” I pulled up beside that DJ padang near his home. Reached back and pulled the folder from behind. It was beginning to drizzle and he was like, “What’s happening?? What are you doing??”
I walked over to his side of the car. As I stood outside his window in the start of a light drizzle, I took the deepest breath I could and *gulp*…

Monday, June 19, 2006

happy father's day to me

I love my Dddy. Very Very Muchie. Sophiekins also loves her Dddy very very muchie. Mmmy also loves her Dddy very very muchie.

I’m so glad I was able to stick around Father’s Day this trip. Dddy’s never really into celebrating sh*t like this. He only bothers ‘cos WE make it such a big hype… like getting him a cool T-shirt and making him wear it the entire day. I know he kinda hates big bursts of lurrrve expression which makes me even more adamant in being this cheeky. So in the morning us 2 soldiers (Sophiekins and I) rushed into the master bedroom and perform our Sunday ritual of bouncing about the bed. Then we’d all snuggle up to Dddy and irritate him by talking really loudly ‘till he gets all huffy and starts screaming to leave him to sleep in peace. I don’t think we’ll ever grow tired of being Dddy’s girls.

Dddy can so full of crap sometimes. Which makes us love him even more because of that. Sophiekins was just telling me that there was once when they were both cruising (yes, Dddy’s idea of ultimate FUN is bringing us out for drives) and Dddy decided to crash into that Pet-a-Pet, beside Ikea, drive-thru just for kicks. Thing is, people who do those drive-thrus are the ones who need to send their pets off to the pet motel or something. Since we don’t have no pets, Dddy instructed Sophiekins to disguise as a dog. So Sophiekins placed her cupped fingers on her head as ears and Dddy began to cook up some random story of how she’s a rare Thai breed all the way from Bachok, Kelantan. KAKAKA. He really kills me sometimes.

I bought Dddy a pair of man-ly Japanese Konnichiwa slippers. Dddy has a thang for female slippers. Sophiekins believes it's 'cos Dddy’s really in touch with his feminine side (a result of having 3 chicks running him up the wall, in my case 25 years!!) ‘cos he’s probably the only man’s man brave enough to pull off a Balinese beaded sandal / Miss Selfridge hibiscus flip-flops / Vincci sequinned slippers etc… His friends are absolutely bewildered how come Dddy just won’t seem to wear them boring Jap slippers and even offered to buy him some so that he wouldn’t wear mine. Sometimes I’ve got to HIDE my cute new slippers from him or the next thing I know, there they will be lying on the porch all smudgy and fray looking.

Since Dddy wanted to go hang with his mates, we decided to do the ultimate Father’s Day activity: shop for more crap!!

First big decision of the century: Unicorn, Love Bugs or Lucky Lady (LeSportsac)??

Then it's off to French Connection UK where I spotted this absolutely HOT dress in dual colours which I had a hard time figuring which I like better:

Or red?
Ending the day with my FAVOURITE chinese delicacy: Strawberries on Stick!! I always used to wonder what were those red candied sh*t those Chinese village kids were chomping on. Now I know. And it's absolute YUMMM. Like candied apples but better :) And I LOVE CANDIED apples!!

Sunday, June 18, 2006


Family decides to go shopping in KLCC.

Me likes Dunhill window display. So "Oops I did it again" :)

I convinced Mmmy it's about time she treated herself to some good old skin-lovin' cream. I mean when-lah else is the Creme de La Mer gonna come into play? When she's 80 meh?? So it's now. That, what Sophiekins is showing the world, is a REALLY big jar of Creme de La Mer. Damn expensive too. RM7000++ or some crap. Whoah.
Sophiekins bought a REALLY cute pink Marc Jacobs bag and I got myself a cute yellow wallet with its signature clasp that I HEART. Will post pics of 'em soon *grins wide*
Was thiiis close to being late for dinner.
clockwise from top L: Miss LeenaLeena, Miss OO, Miss YinYin, Miss BellaBella, Miss TanTan, Miss Cuteness keke

Birthday Chick.
Next headed down to Salsa Havana where the chicks scored themselves beginner's classes for the advanced. NyaM*Ha*. Basically since Miss BellaBella, Miss ChewChew and I knew nuts 'bout salsa (the others go for classes and they go salsa-clubbing, supposedly the 'in' thing of the now... pardon me I come from kampung so I don't know) we sat about and b*tched about our lives. We bonded much. Miss ChewChew was surprised at how fun Miss BellaBella would be. Yea weiii, if it wasn't for Miss BellaBella I wouldn't even turn up in the first place 'cos I'm not too familiar with the rest, and well, they're into the whole salsa bit anyways. Yes Miss BellaBella's BIG fun. I really like when the couple who know sh*t starts shaking their thang. I always get mesmerized by people dancing together. I love watching music videos or corny dance movies. Just love the way the body moves so dynamically to create passion and desire. I love dancing. I just didn't really fancy salsa (yet maybe).

Next the chicks headed to Little Havana where they got a chance to put their skills to the ultimate test: USE. Everyone there really knew how to shake and shimmy. I just sat about and watched people jive. The uncanny thing is that everyone there were just regular people... people you'd meet in offices or the mall... and there they were these regular people dancing very irregularly. Irregularly well. And I liked it that everyone had all that in common. Miss TanTan dances very very well. I like to watch her on the dancefloor. She seems so happy and having such a great time. Me happy for her.
After abit, the non-salsas decided to go check what Frangipani had to offer on a Saturday night. Friday night is supposedly Gay night worr. It was relatively quiet so at least we got a nice place to sit. We encountered something absolutely HILARIOUS while discerning what to drink:

Why even call it a Martini?? OMG do they NOT know alcoholic vocabulary?? Me pengsans!!

anthony on malaysia: steel, tattoos, fish heads

Dddy thinks the 'Under The Tree' people should get their Coke sign appraised. Right, like Sotheby's gonna wanna give a f*ck 'bout a rusty old soft drink sign like that.

Sophiekins and I were mucking about one night while watching the Travel & Living Channel (Astro Chanell 11) when Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations show came up. Very intrigued over what that grumpy old chef had to say 'bout Warna Warna M, we sat put and paid full attention. He first met up with Chef Wan, only rightly: our local tele-hungry flamboyant celebrity chef (who I lurveee, please be my friend Chef WAN!!) and then Asha Gill (she's still so HOT) before finally getting a tattoo by Eddie (Eddie be my friend TOO), supposedly legendary Iban tattoo artist. I saw the product: damn the bugger's GOOD.
You know what's weird but good weird? Anthony's wasn't his usual schmucky self when he was hanging out in KL. I've noticed this too. Even that old English chef man... uhh what's his name... had a great time when he was gallavanting around here too. That fella actually liked Terengganu. How odd is that?!! Anyway Anthony did say that on his show you can see if he's enjoying himself and you can definitely see if he's having a crappy time. I think it's 'cos we always so the satay angmoh's backside. We do-lah. Kekeke. That's why they just love coming back again and again to Malaysia. Sure doesn't kill that their currency makes them rajahs and that we all converse in English. I find all this very hilarious. Bring 'em in. Bring 'em in. UP MALAYSIAN ECONOMY SO I CAN AFFORD HERMES like it's Giordano or something.
So we told Dddy all about Anthony's escapade in KL and he got all excited that the fella actually ate in that fish place our family always frequents on weekends. He especially enjoyed the anecdote regarding the comment the cooks made when they were about to serve Anthony's fish: "Nahh.. koh kor gwailo ker choy." something like that-lah :D Yah, thus Dddy made us go eat there to celebrate the fact Anthony Bourdain went to go eat at 'Under The Tree'.

"At The Place Under the Big Tree, ambiance is not the top concern. Here, the focus is on quality food. Two giant, freshwater grass-carp heads double-steamed and sauced with brown bean paste, anis and curry. Sometimes you find the best food in the most unusual places. Here I'm eating this magnificent meal, and right next door they're banging away on steel and adjusting shocks."
...Anthony Bourdain; No Reservations...

Friday, June 16, 2006

me plays candy striper (day one and two)

Day ONE:

I’ve been entertaining Ah Choy in the hospital. Mainly because everyone’s at work and I bet it can get real lonely but also ‘cos I really don’t have much better to do. Besides I adore his company. Think he finds me amusing to have around too. Yesterday I teman-ed him ‘till it was time for his operation. Witness him getting his First-Leg-Shave ;D He was gonna go through a meniscal repair. It’s an injury due to futsal. Figures… aren’t all young men tearing their knees up ‘cos of it? I should know, I was almost a statistic(!!).

*Just so you know:
The meniscus aka cartilage is the C-shaped fibrocartilage in your knee (tibiofemoral joint) that functions to absorb shock and add stability. When there’s an injury (tear) to the meniscus, bits of it will get trapped between the joints delivering symptoms of: pain (especially at the sides of the knee), giving way (instability), locking (stuck in certain positions), popping, swelling and clicking. An MRI is usually ordered to aid diagnosis before repairing it surgically. Tears in the outside 1/3 of the meniscus can be repaired while tears in the inner 1/3 cannot be healed. An arthroscopic procedure is performed by inserting a tiny probe fixed with a camera where the orthopaedic surgeon will then determine whether a repair can be made or perhaps the removal of spoilt part (menisectomy). It takes approximately 6 weeks for the knee to heal and mobilization as well as physiotherapy is encouraged.*

My legs definitely hotter!!

Ah Choy finally realizes his trunks could be sexy if they were fuzz-free.

Day TWO:

I appeared the next day packed with the ultimate McBreakfast :) Bubur McD and Ice Lemon Tea. Unfortunately he had better grub (mama's cooking) which absolutely overshadowed my poor Happy Meal. In the end I makan sendiri. If I had known this, I'd have bought myself a Filet-O-Fish meal. I also presented him a belated birthday present which I had meant to give him for ages but always forgot: A GIRLFRIEND. Bet you didn't think I could do that huh?! Kekeke. Sorry, I can only magic a chick once. After that everyone's on their own.

Kenny makes an appearance. He's SO VOGUE :) (Me mucks about while Ah Choy goes for physiotherapy)

Mostly time was spent talking about absolute rubbish, burying my toes under the covers and reading my fashion bible: Vogue UK. I also watched lots of those funny Chinese Amazing-Race-esque shows which absolutely cracked me up. The tele speaker is on some kinda walkie-talkie thingy which is so LAME that it's funny 'cos you're like watching the tele via a phone.

it takes a real man to wear pink

Later in the evening, Ah Choy insisted I get him outta the ward so he can have his nicotine fix. Adoiii chain smokers chain smokers *shakes head*. So I packed him up into a wheelchair and bundled him all up in (yea you know it *wink*) PINK as I struggled to wheel him in and out of the hospital lift. Ever so often I'd forget about his knee and minorly crash him into edges and walls: KAKAKA crap ass funny!! Actually I'm more humoured than concerned 'cos he looks like an absolute clown when he's squirming and squealing after-bumps :D I'm eeevi...l!! Can't help it-lah. He finds me to be the worst doctor-to-be EVER. Makes me even more adamant to ram him against the door KAKAKA!!
Since I couldn't push him further than the parking area, he had to light up despite the fact we were still at the 'no smoking zone'. It started to drizzle and lo-and-behold this lucky f*cker had the priviledge of me shading him from raindrops with my micro-lite Accessorize brolly. Everyone who walked past us probably found it to be the wackiest thing ever: sick bugger puffing away while being shaded under umbrella like some kinda rajah or sultan. Chewah!! He owes me big time man.
Ah Choy in my designer signature PINK. I know he loves it *snigger*

relatives ahoy

Grand-Aunt Wee (my favourite grand-aunt... keke actually my only grand-aunt) comes to town. This time with a mission: motherly concerns over her son's mini-tragedy. G.A. Wee is a renowned accounts tutor in Kota Bharu, Kelantan. She has this accounts tuition (Sekolah Commercial Kelantan) empire and she's, like, so popular Dddy believes she could actually summon enough support to run for Parliment if she felt like it. I love it when she comes over. She brings mangoes, mangosteens, sour mini mangoes and all those funny Kelantanese kampung fruits. We'd have a buah feast while she gives afew rounds of relatives gossips. Fun!! Also she's really into jewellery and stones which absolutely excites Sophiekins who has the biggest penchant for blingbling *giggles* She loves me. She does!! She cried when she looked through my graduation pictures. I love her too. She loves to look at my holiday pictures and the crappy stories I tell her. Grand-Uncle Wee thinks I'm, like, a brilliant photographer (keke, I'd like to think so) and admires my attempts at catching the ultimate Kodak moment. Till now, despite the fact I'm as big as a buffalo, G.A. Wee still stuffs RM10 bills down my pockets as saguhati ;D You can't say no to that sorta lovin'!!

I can never understand what's with women and flowers. It's like we're automatically drawn to them. You don't know what to speak to a lady about? Start with orchids.

And the bizarro thing is they can actually debate the whole purple white business for an hour... like WH..?!

Men doing men business.

More men business.

Men trying to tamper in women business. FAIL.

"She's my priestess, I'm your priest Yeaaah, yeaaah..."

Thursday, June 15, 2006

he whats me. he whats me not.

So I’m home. So everybody knows. So I started socialising. Still feel like crap.

This holiday is turning into a nightmare. I’ve been looking forward to this month-long vacation and now that it’s here, all I see is it turning into freaking breadcrumbs in my hand. I suppose things always end up like sh*t if you think it’s gonna be something monumental.

I’m confused. I’m confused if I really am in love with Mr Orange. He has a new chick now. She’s cute… those cute Malay chick sort. I suppose he’s in the Malay-chick phase. Most non-Malay boys go through it at a certain point in their life. Vice-versa for Malay chicks. They go out with them ‘cos there’s just too much pressure to go out with someone your own race sometimes. All the fun and carefree joy gets thumped down by questions of “Where is this relationship going?” or pressures from race-alike parents to “Get hitched already”. With the Malay chick it’s more of “let’s have fun together” which people tend to forget is essential in keeping a relationship jovial. Not to mention Malay chicks are supposedly really horny. *giggles* Perhaps virgin Chinese chicks like me are viewed to be absolute frigid corals. Look cute-cute but absolute vegetable when it comes to sex. I like to think I’m cheeky but what do I know?!

So it has come to the question of whether I really do love him or not? And if I don’t then MOVE ON but if I do what then? Tell him. Or keep it to myself to salvage the friendship. I don’t know. I don’t know. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW. I don’t know.

"I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
'Cause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction, you make everything so clear
And even as I wander,I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might
...Reo Speedwagon; Can't Fight This Feeling...

I don’t even know if I love him or not? What the f*ck is love? I told him that his relationship was merely a disguise to his fear of having a real relationship stemming from his low self-esteem. Like since he knew that those 2 relationships (now and prior) were so unrealistic it became easier to handle than having to handle a real relationship. That he thinks he’s not good enough for a real relationship. But he is. Everyone’s trying to get to the bottom of things for me but in the end we just gurgle over the same issues again and again and again. In the end, we get splurted out of the bumbling volcano, land our asses at the foot of the volcanic hill where we started out before. No answers.

And I hate it that I have this stupid desire to save him. Like I would drop everything that instant moment if I felt he was in trouble. I HAVE TO STOP DOING THIS. I’m torturing myself. In fact I should save myself. This Supergirl persona has to go. So I was considering X-ing him off my life. For awhile. Say half a year or two. Let me recuperate and learn to live in a world where there is NO HIM. Like he never existed. Maybe then I’d finally realize there are no male figures in my life and that I should go out and get some. He must know at some level I fancy him. He must know. It’s impossible he doesn’t although I have always been very careful with affections. May be I should just tell him. Tell him that I’m confused and that I need to work things out. In the meantime I have to leave him. Because it’s the only way things could work. It’s the only way I could not hurt. I have to be fair to myself too. Miss ChongChong thinks I’m being so selfish to do that. That I’m punishing him over my own dilemmas. Perhaps I am. But don’t I need to put myself before others?? I need to favour myself. My heart is breaking and I don’t even know what the cause of it is. And I can’t believe I’m crying over nothing. And I’m tired already of thinking, I have no positive thoughts about this and it’s leaving me fatigue. In the end I know all I’d be left with is disappointment and despair. Things are not going to work out because for BIG STARTERS HE DOES NOT LIKE ME. Why can’t I just drill this in my head?? He does NOT like me. He does NOT like me. He does NOT like me. He does NOT like me. He does NOT like me. He does NOT like me. He does NOT like me. He does NOT like me. He does NOT like me. He does NOT like me. Yet I still like him, maybe. What the F***?!!
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