Tuesday, April 25, 2006

baby bash

And I thought Surgery was tiring. OBGYN is a murder. My mini group: Miss RusRus, Ah Rmandha and Ah Nggun have been working in the delivery room since 7am. We're absolutely knackered and it's only 9 at night. 10 hours of hell to go. There's just so much to do here because there's only 1 resident and 1 chief resident. Since the chief resident is constantly in the OR, therefore a lot of responsibilities fall on us. It's cool in a sense I finally get to witness all the action: normal deliveries, pathological deliveries, spontaneous abortions and D&Cs (Dilation & Curettage): induced abortions. We're assigned to our own patients and it's pretty heavy duty stuff. I haven't delivered my first child yet but I look forward to it.

Since there are so many misconceptions about birth-giving (mostly planted by TeeVi...l), HERE are some trivial facts: babies are NOT covered in blood post-delivery, they're covered in white stinky amniotic slime; parturition does not end 'till the placenta is expulsed; when the baby motions outta the vagina it takes just a split second for him/her to slide out (the pressure actually shoots the kid out like a human cannon); many a time the mother's perineum (the border between vagina and ass-h*le) gets torn and it hurts to d*mn hell but one thing the tele got right: DELIVERY really DOES HURT!!


It's a 'lil quiet now. Weird thing 'bout delivering mothers, they always mysteriously tend to deliver at the same moment. The last 2 ladies just finished giving birth so now we can heave a sigh of relief. I still have my pre-eclamptic (hypertensive) patient to monitor while Ah Rmandha just helped in assisting his first spontaneous delivery (I haven't delivered yet) and it was a bewildering experience for all of us. He stumbled, kekeke, during the clamping of umbilical cords, actually it was more of like him flailing the clamp about 'cos he was trembling as he tried to fasten the clamp onto the umbilical cord. I can relate. I totally get it 'cos this afternoon, just as I arrived (fresh from knowing nothing), I was thrusted into assisting a patient with the removal of her retained placenta and I just froze. Procedures we ever memorize tend to flush down the loo when we face them in real life... It's hilarious but true. You can yabber the steps to perinatal management like the back of your hand but when they drop a baby into your arms you'd probably end up doing nothing else but a rock-impersonation.

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