Thursday, March 30, 2006

wednesday: "you got your problems, i got my ass-wipe, you got your big Gs, i got my…"

Second on list: outing with Miss ChewChew

[So Miss ChewChew found this. I was not surprised. It was only the matter of time ‘till Ah Zai tapped his itchy fingers and brazed through the World Wide Web in search of my site. This site isn’t too difficult to find as I hadn’t thought of being discreet then]
Catching up with Miss ChewChew is ALWAYS awesome. She has a new job finding jobs for people like her [she used to never hold down a job]. Maybe this one will stick and this whole situation wouldn’t sound as ironic as it does now. I don’t think she was too amused when I made that remark, she said it made her sound so pathetic *shrugs*. Also her hairstyle’s pretty short. She had a disastrous cut before that left her with a do that looked pretty much like a mullet. Horrors of horrors!! I laughed my ass off. She had to have her hair tied up and bobby-pinned everywhere. The poor soul. In the end, she had to succumb to over-priced over-rated Peek-A-Boo [kekeke… well Miss ChongChong and I don’t go there for nuts] for Ah Gibson’s attempt at severe-damage-control. I think he did a nice job with the multi layers and I foresee a good outcome in the future [it had better… the trip set her back, like, RM500++ or something!!]. It’s cuh-razy how much women (me included) are willing to spend on their hair these days. It used to be just a RM20 trip to those Chinese salons… now, everything starts with a minimal price of RM50!! Don’t even get me started on treatments. Treatments are one of those BIG NO-NOs that you tell yourself time and time again to resist despite heavy-duty persuasion yet... *sigh* Nobody really needs those overcharged hair care when you can quite sufficiently do it yourself at home. It’s just one of those mini-scams that women fall for again and again (me included) despite constantly chanting NO under our breaths. I mean Ah Gibson has a way of going all DIVA: “OMG look at the state of your hair!! Feel it!! It’s horrible. It’s so horrible I won’t cut it till you treat it. So treatment?” I surrender every time. Damn my weak will-power.

I regret to say I’m a rebond-aholic. The only problem is post-rebonding my hair structure ends up being absolute garbage which is why I don’t do it so often now. I do it approximately twice a year and intensely treat my hair in between those periods to prep it for its next torture sessions. It’s a vicious cycle. I used to get things done in Jantzen, KLCC till it got all bankrupt ‘cos supposedly someone there f*cked a chick’s hair up (rebonding :P go figure) and the company got sued literally down to the pants. Finding a new salon was HARD. The reason why I rebond so much is because I am so lazy to style it. With rebonding all you ever need to do is give your hair a good brush and you’re set to go. No cowlicks, no uneven crimps, no bad-hair-day. Period. There are moments when I don’t even bother to comb my hair ‘cos I’m in such a hurry every morning and I still look neat. And as a medical personnel you HAVE to look neat. No patient’s gonna trust you if you show up looking like Ursula (witch) from The Little Mermaid. My favourite Jantzen hairstylist Ah J Wong opened his own salon in Avenue K called SoHo. Good name and great interior. Unfortunately not-so-good products. Perhaps now that he’s got his own salon that he thought he’d make a buck or 2 using cheaper products. Wella was never really my thing. My poor hair suffered serious consequences and I never went back there again. He just lost 2 rebondings a year and many haircuts in between. Jackeline (neighbour cum dentist’s wife) came over the house one day with a HOT do. It seems she goes to Ah Shaun in Peek-A-Boo, Taman Tun Dr Ismail. I went to Shaun (supposed L’Oreal ambassador). Cost a bomb and pretty OK results but for RM500 a pop it should have been more than OK results. I was not too ecstatic. Mmmy later found out from a shampoo girl in another salon that Peek-A-Boo was opening an outlet in The Curve. Ah Gibson, Ah Shaun’s twin brother, was the feature there and he’s supposedly more talented than Ah Shaun despite Ah Shaun having more glamour ‘cos of his ambassador status. Ya udah, I trotted over to Ah Gibson. OK-lah not bad-lah and he really knows how to butter up a client. I still frequented the place till recently ‘cos I’m a big Curve supporter and I’m just too lazy to search for another salon. Mmmy now goes to this place called Mod’s in Damansara Perdana. It seems the Hartamas outlet is swarmed with tai-tais and they’re usually booked to the brim that they’ve gotta borrow staff off the Perdana outlet. I got my first haircut there this trip home. I’m pleased that he (forgot his name but Mmmy absolutely lurrves him ‘cos he really knows how to satay her ass) took time and effort to layer everything properly… probably ‘cos he had time on his hands anyway: the place is a little quiet. I shall attempt a rebonding session at their place and so we shall see then…

Back to Miss ChewChew. She’s Miss OO's bridesmaid. There will be 2 ceremonies: one in Brisbane and the other back here in KL. I wonder if I’m invited. Miss OO and I aren’t really tight but I really think she should at least invite me since we’re acquainted. Basically Miss ChewChew’s dreading the entire occasion. I can imagine. As much as I’d be flattered that someone would honour me the opportunity to assist her on her big day, it just makes me even more disgusted that I’m nowhere near where she’s at. I find it very very bizarre that Miss OO is not sponsoring her bridesmaid trip to Australia. Aren’t brides supposed to do that?? Like, hello(??), isn’t her husband-to-be some rich ass who, like, gave her some gigantic rock?!! The absolute appaling thing about it all is that she’s NOT gonna even provide complimentary accommodation to them in Oz. I’m, like, WH…AT?!! I dunno-lah I’m not good at all these bridal-wedding business but I think if you ask someone to be your bridesmaid and would like them to accompany you overseas, the least you can do is make sure you provide them air-tickets and ACCOMODATION [I mean just chuck them each in one of his relatives place-lah]. They’re already taking time and money out to do you this good favour… it’s the most bride-y thing to do: fork out!! Especially since your fiancé is some goldmine. Weird. Anyway Miss ChewChew was groaning about having to be active in Miss OO's wedding forum… thing is the former didn’t really give a damn ‘bout the wedding. Hehe… kinda hilarious. I suppose Miss OO is fortunate that MissLeenLeen and Miss TanTan are really positive ‘bout the works so at least she can get her dose of enthusiasm there. What is it that makes us so bitter about our friends getting married? I love weddings!! Yet when I hear someone getting engaged, it feels as if someone just socked me in my stomach. For Miss ChewChew it’s more of her having a strong reaction to all the change. For me I’m just scared I’d “end up dead, FAT and alone… half eaten by Alsatians” (Bridget Jones’ Diary). I’m turning 25 for crying out loud. It’s terrifying that I’ve never even had A (one, une, uno, satu, hiji) boyfriend. It’s even more terrifying to know that by 32 I’d be at high risk of getting a Down’s Syndrome kid. I only have 5 years to go before I turn 30; break that down: I have 2 years to bag myself a man, 1 year to get to know him, 1 year for us to get married and then the immediate year after that GET KNOCKED UP!! You’d think it easy to get hitched but if you’ve spent 10 years trying to no avail, 2 years will just go by uneventfully in a “poof!!”. Scary-leh??

Miss ChewChew bought me dinner in Gusto’s, Damansara Perdana. Ah Choy once offered to bring me there but I decided to just catch some booze in a local pub. It’s pretty cute. Nice ambience for yakking and pretty romantic too. The food’s pretty good although the portion is disappointingly tiny. I eat a lot what!! F*ck you. Dinner was on Miss ChewChew. I love my friends. I love it that they buy me dinners. I tend to get so embarassed but secretly I’m so LOVIN’ IT. It’s one of the perks being the baby of the group, i.e. student. They do spoil me on the whole… I get so pampered when I’m home I just hate leaving. Ah Choy always reminds me what a brat I can be and that one day he’ll be mean enough to pull away my benefits but he never does (I know he’s just joking-lah). Bless him :) Miss ChewChew too. OMG, in the middle of food, a huge rat ran across Miss ChewChew’s feet. She saw it. I know it to be true ‘cos I saw it scurrying across the wooden floor towards another table. The entire incident freaked Miss ChewChew OUT. KAKAKA. She insisted we moved inside. I was content being outside… all we had to do was lift our legs up but I think that option wasn’t rat-proof enough for her. Despite making several complaints to the management nobody really bothered ‘bout looking/catching the rat. Maybe the hype would be bad for business-lah. Having lived (and survived) with dead rats under my bed has made me not bother much ‘bout them. Of course I mind them in my room and will make sure each and every tail o’ em gets crucified if detected but in public places there are bound to be varmints. I’m so used to seeing them in Indon that it’s not really that big a deal to me anymore. This is bad.

clockwise from L: Miss ChewChew + cute crop; KL traffic jam; Ah Zai plays umbrella man; Ah Zai + moi
Oh yah. Miss ChewChew fixed me up with her brother’s friend that night.

(msn)Miss ChewChew says: Mr Company-Jacket would like to meet you
Miss ChewChew says: Mr Company-Jacket as in my brother's friend
Miss ChewChew says: LOL
Miss ChewChew says: i mean... this is crazy
moi says: i know him?Miss ChewChew says: not in personmoi says: why he wanna meet me?Miss ChewChew says: he just.. brought it up
Miss ChewChew says: i think he's on the ' look out '.. kinda sorta... in an informal /casual way....
moi says: well I’M ON THE LOOK OUTMiss ChewChew says: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
moi says: is he hot??
Miss ChewChew says: er... not reallymoi says: waittttttttttt
moi says: have you dated him before??
moi says: cos you KNOW i don't date anyone you've dated before!!
Miss ChewChew says: NO I HAVE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miss ChewChew says: and i've not touched him lah
Miss ChewChew says: he's clean. AIYO
Miss ChewChew says: makes me sound so bad

moi says: waitt waitt
moi says: thing is..... did he specifically say he wanna meet me
moi says: orrrr did u just think that i fit the profile blablabla
[profile meaning (in his exact words): he said preferably 25-30 yrs of age, nice personality, not bitchy , independant, smart, funny, etc etc]Miss ChewChew says: YES HE DID
Miss ChewChew: f*ck i wished i saved the CHAT

moi says: oh
moi says: wow
moi says: i've never had someone wanna meet me
moi says: ok i'm game

It was a mini-date since Miss ChewChew babysat me through it. There was no kuch-kuch hota hai between Mr Company Jacket and I but despite that I had a surprisingly amusing time. So what went wrong?? I’m relatively virgin in the dating scene so I don’t know if I’m thinking appropriately but here’s where I think made me NOT fancy him.

X no.1:
he made Miss ChewChew come pick him up at his place ‘cos it was too inconvenient/lazy/far/whatever for him to get to his car. [adoii, no-lah in any case he should have just met us there. I mean which boy doesn’t like to drive on his own? I’m not used to this ‘cos all boysy boys I know would wanna take their car]
X no.2: he was wearing his company jacket when we pulled up at his place [company jacket. Unless he works for Donald Trump, I’d rather he put on a vest or a male cardigan]X no.3: when Miss ChewChew poked fun at the fact he was wearing his company jacket, he replied “Cold-lah” [I don’t really know what to say]
X no.4: as much as I was very impressed with all the rubbish he has tried (I mean we’re talking opium weiii) and am highly inquisitive to know more ‘bout it all… I don’t think I wanna get with a person as adventurous as that. I need someone to ground my bad habits not encourage it-lah
X no.5: he should have paid for drinks. Besides he ate and ordered an extra drink for himself.
X no.6: he's small and I'm FAT. I need to have someone taller or stronger to even out the equation.
So no wedding bells ahoy this time. I think we were both interesting people with interesting things to say so conversations did flow well regardless of lack in BZZZT. I was very interested to know them sh*t he tried in Thailand and he was very interested to know them sh*t that happens in the ER. Mostly getting-to-know-new-people business and all those harmless crap. Ah Zai dropped by and it was a welcoming break to our party of 3. Mr Company-Jacket offered to roll us a joint filled with his best leaves: Indon leaves wohhh (kekeke ironic that I’d be smoking Indon hash in Msia). He mentioned a name but I forgot… anyways I was going on and on over how I tried pot at Miss ChongChong’s a century ago in Melbourne with a bong, but didn’t feel anything since I didn’t know how to inhale. Mr Company-Jacket was excited to get me high. I was too. I should know what being high is all about. It would be like research!! Aiya I have the curiousity level of a toddler mah so I took on his offer. Ah Zai too got excited since it’s been ages since he got some ;D So the three of us excited losers drove over to Mr Company-Jacket’s place where he took FOREVER to roll a joint. While waiting, I decided to do some msg-ing, beats watching Miss ChewChew and boyfriend canoodle.

(msg)moi: I’m gonna try pot 2dayAh Choy: Hehe. Make sure u lose your cherry tonight. Cos after u take it, its uncontrollable high.
moi: U take b4 ah??
Ah Choy: Yeah.
moi: omgggggggg wahhhhhhhhh. Cool. D fucker not yet come out wit d joint. Damn sien.Ah Choy: Just drink more water, it’s very dry.
moi: No water wohhh… We in car. I’m tired of waitg 4 him 2 get his damn stash. M*tha F*cka.

*Just so you know:*
Marijuana’s adult name is Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). The main alkaloid contained in pot is Dronabinol. This Dronabinol entity is the one responsible for the production of euphoria that is followed by drowsiness and relaxation, depending on social situation.

It impairs short-term memory and mental activity [stone-lah] as well as decrease muscle strength and impair highly skilled motor activities, such as that required to drive a car. It increases appetite, causes xerostomia, visual hallucinations, delusions and enhancement of sensory activity.
Pot effects show immediately after smoking, but maximal effects take about 20 minutes. By 3 hours, the effects largely disappear. Adverse effects include an increased heart rate, decreased blood pressure, and a reddening of conjunctiva. At high dose, a toxic psychosis develops. Tolerance and mild physical dependence occur with frequent use of the drug

(Lippincott’s Illustrated Reviews: Pharmacology)

Funny that Ah Choy mentioned ‘bout water ‘cos as Mr Company-Jacket climbed into the backseat of the car, he brought with him a big bottle of water. Anyways as Ah Zai breezed through the streets of KL (we decided to smoke it in his car: safest), I did my best to inhale the sh*t. At some points Ah Zai’s cognitive skills seems off ‘cos he like f*cked up bit while driving [N.B: refer to ‘Just so you know’ above]. Miss ChewChew didn’t smoke much so she functioned as the ‘official passer’. Ah Zai told me to take it in ‘till I cough. The more I cough the better. I coughed and coughed. But hmm… nada!! I suppose I must have done a bad job inhaling ‘cos I felt nothing. No changes. I did, however, feel like my brain turned numb but that’s just about it. No uncontrollable HIGH. What’s high? Question left unanswered. I have yet to re-try for the third time. Goodness knows when the opportunity will come. Till then at least the mini-date ended up with Ah Zai and Mr Company-Jacket stoned.

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