Thursday, March 30, 2006

wednesday: "you got your problems, i got my ass-wipe, you got your big Gs, i got my…"

Second on list: outing with Miss ChewChew

[So Miss ChewChew found this. I was not surprised. It was only the matter of time ‘till Ah Zai tapped his itchy fingers and brazed through the World Wide Web in search of my site. This site isn’t too difficult to find as I hadn’t thought of being discreet then]
Catching up with Miss ChewChew is ALWAYS awesome. She has a new job finding jobs for people like her [she used to never hold down a job]. Maybe this one will stick and this whole situation wouldn’t sound as ironic as it does now. I don’t think she was too amused when I made that remark, she said it made her sound so pathetic *shrugs*. Also her hairstyle’s pretty short. She had a disastrous cut before that left her with a do that looked pretty much like a mullet. Horrors of horrors!! I laughed my ass off. She had to have her hair tied up and bobby-pinned everywhere. The poor soul. In the end, she had to succumb to over-priced over-rated Peek-A-Boo [kekeke… well Miss ChongChong and I don’t go there for nuts] for Ah Gibson’s attempt at severe-damage-control. I think he did a nice job with the multi layers and I foresee a good outcome in the future [it had better… the trip set her back, like, RM500++ or something!!]. It’s cuh-razy how much women (me included) are willing to spend on their hair these days. It used to be just a RM20 trip to those Chinese salons… now, everything starts with a minimal price of RM50!! Don’t even get me started on treatments. Treatments are one of those BIG NO-NOs that you tell yourself time and time again to resist despite heavy-duty persuasion yet... *sigh* Nobody really needs those overcharged hair care when you can quite sufficiently do it yourself at home. It’s just one of those mini-scams that women fall for again and again (me included) despite constantly chanting NO under our breaths. I mean Ah Gibson has a way of going all DIVA: “OMG look at the state of your hair!! Feel it!! It’s horrible. It’s so horrible I won’t cut it till you treat it. So treatment?” I surrender every time. Damn my weak will-power.

I regret to say I’m a rebond-aholic. The only problem is post-rebonding my hair structure ends up being absolute garbage which is why I don’t do it so often now. I do it approximately twice a year and intensely treat my hair in between those periods to prep it for its next torture sessions. It’s a vicious cycle. I used to get things done in Jantzen, KLCC till it got all bankrupt ‘cos supposedly someone there f*cked a chick’s hair up (rebonding :P go figure) and the company got sued literally down to the pants. Finding a new salon was HARD. The reason why I rebond so much is because I am so lazy to style it. With rebonding all you ever need to do is give your hair a good brush and you’re set to go. No cowlicks, no uneven crimps, no bad-hair-day. Period. There are moments when I don’t even bother to comb my hair ‘cos I’m in such a hurry every morning and I still look neat. And as a medical personnel you HAVE to look neat. No patient’s gonna trust you if you show up looking like Ursula (witch) from The Little Mermaid. My favourite Jantzen hairstylist Ah J Wong opened his own salon in Avenue K called SoHo. Good name and great interior. Unfortunately not-so-good products. Perhaps now that he’s got his own salon that he thought he’d make a buck or 2 using cheaper products. Wella was never really my thing. My poor hair suffered serious consequences and I never went back there again. He just lost 2 rebondings a year and many haircuts in between. Jackeline (neighbour cum dentist’s wife) came over the house one day with a HOT do. It seems she goes to Ah Shaun in Peek-A-Boo, Taman Tun Dr Ismail. I went to Shaun (supposed L’Oreal ambassador). Cost a bomb and pretty OK results but for RM500 a pop it should have been more than OK results. I was not too ecstatic. Mmmy later found out from a shampoo girl in another salon that Peek-A-Boo was opening an outlet in The Curve. Ah Gibson, Ah Shaun’s twin brother, was the feature there and he’s supposedly more talented than Ah Shaun despite Ah Shaun having more glamour ‘cos of his ambassador status. Ya udah, I trotted over to Ah Gibson. OK-lah not bad-lah and he really knows how to butter up a client. I still frequented the place till recently ‘cos I’m a big Curve supporter and I’m just too lazy to search for another salon. Mmmy now goes to this place called Mod’s in Damansara Perdana. It seems the Hartamas outlet is swarmed with tai-tais and they’re usually booked to the brim that they’ve gotta borrow staff off the Perdana outlet. I got my first haircut there this trip home. I’m pleased that he (forgot his name but Mmmy absolutely lurrves him ‘cos he really knows how to satay her ass) took time and effort to layer everything properly… probably ‘cos he had time on his hands anyway: the place is a little quiet. I shall attempt a rebonding session at their place and so we shall see then…

Back to Miss ChewChew. She’s Miss OO's bridesmaid. There will be 2 ceremonies: one in Brisbane and the other back here in KL. I wonder if I’m invited. Miss OO and I aren’t really tight but I really think she should at least invite me since we’re acquainted. Basically Miss ChewChew’s dreading the entire occasion. I can imagine. As much as I’d be flattered that someone would honour me the opportunity to assist her on her big day, it just makes me even more disgusted that I’m nowhere near where she’s at. I find it very very bizarre that Miss OO is not sponsoring her bridesmaid trip to Australia. Aren’t brides supposed to do that?? Like, hello(??), isn’t her husband-to-be some rich ass who, like, gave her some gigantic rock?!! The absolute appaling thing about it all is that she’s NOT gonna even provide complimentary accommodation to them in Oz. I’m, like, WH…AT?!! I dunno-lah I’m not good at all these bridal-wedding business but I think if you ask someone to be your bridesmaid and would like them to accompany you overseas, the least you can do is make sure you provide them air-tickets and ACCOMODATION [I mean just chuck them each in one of his relatives place-lah]. They’re already taking time and money out to do you this good favour… it’s the most bride-y thing to do: fork out!! Especially since your fiancé is some goldmine. Weird. Anyway Miss ChewChew was groaning about having to be active in Miss OO's wedding forum… thing is the former didn’t really give a damn ‘bout the wedding. Hehe… kinda hilarious. I suppose Miss OO is fortunate that MissLeenLeen and Miss TanTan are really positive ‘bout the works so at least she can get her dose of enthusiasm there. What is it that makes us so bitter about our friends getting married? I love weddings!! Yet when I hear someone getting engaged, it feels as if someone just socked me in my stomach. For Miss ChewChew it’s more of her having a strong reaction to all the change. For me I’m just scared I’d “end up dead, FAT and alone… half eaten by Alsatians” (Bridget Jones’ Diary). I’m turning 25 for crying out loud. It’s terrifying that I’ve never even had A (one, une, uno, satu, hiji) boyfriend. It’s even more terrifying to know that by 32 I’d be at high risk of getting a Down’s Syndrome kid. I only have 5 years to go before I turn 30; break that down: I have 2 years to bag myself a man, 1 year to get to know him, 1 year for us to get married and then the immediate year after that GET KNOCKED UP!! You’d think it easy to get hitched but if you’ve spent 10 years trying to no avail, 2 years will just go by uneventfully in a “poof!!”. Scary-leh??

Miss ChewChew bought me dinner in Gusto’s, Damansara Perdana. Ah Choy once offered to bring me there but I decided to just catch some booze in a local pub. It’s pretty cute. Nice ambience for yakking and pretty romantic too. The food’s pretty good although the portion is disappointingly tiny. I eat a lot what!! F*ck you. Dinner was on Miss ChewChew. I love my friends. I love it that they buy me dinners. I tend to get so embarassed but secretly I’m so LOVIN’ IT. It’s one of the perks being the baby of the group, i.e. student. They do spoil me on the whole… I get so pampered when I’m home I just hate leaving. Ah Choy always reminds me what a brat I can be and that one day he’ll be mean enough to pull away my benefits but he never does (I know he’s just joking-lah). Bless him :) Miss ChewChew too. OMG, in the middle of food, a huge rat ran across Miss ChewChew’s feet. She saw it. I know it to be true ‘cos I saw it scurrying across the wooden floor towards another table. The entire incident freaked Miss ChewChew OUT. KAKAKA. She insisted we moved inside. I was content being outside… all we had to do was lift our legs up but I think that option wasn’t rat-proof enough for her. Despite making several complaints to the management nobody really bothered ‘bout looking/catching the rat. Maybe the hype would be bad for business-lah. Having lived (and survived) with dead rats under my bed has made me not bother much ‘bout them. Of course I mind them in my room and will make sure each and every tail o’ em gets crucified if detected but in public places there are bound to be varmints. I’m so used to seeing them in Indon that it’s not really that big a deal to me anymore. This is bad.

clockwise from L: Miss ChewChew + cute crop; KL traffic jam; Ah Zai plays umbrella man; Ah Zai + moi
Oh yah. Miss ChewChew fixed me up with her brother’s friend that night.

(msn)Miss ChewChew says: Mr Company-Jacket would like to meet you
Miss ChewChew says: Mr Company-Jacket as in my brother's friend
Miss ChewChew says: LOL
Miss ChewChew says: i mean... this is crazy
moi says: i know him?Miss ChewChew says: not in personmoi says: why he wanna meet me?Miss ChewChew says: he just.. brought it up
Miss ChewChew says: i think he's on the ' look out '.. kinda sorta... in an informal /casual way....
moi says: well I’M ON THE LOOK OUTMiss ChewChew says: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
moi says: is he hot??
Miss ChewChew says: er... not reallymoi says: waittttttttttt
moi says: have you dated him before??
moi says: cos you KNOW i don't date anyone you've dated before!!
Miss ChewChew says: NO I HAVE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miss ChewChew says: and i've not touched him lah
Miss ChewChew says: he's clean. AIYO
Miss ChewChew says: makes me sound so bad

moi says: waitt waitt
moi says: thing is..... did he specifically say he wanna meet me
moi says: orrrr did u just think that i fit the profile blablabla
[profile meaning (in his exact words): he said preferably 25-30 yrs of age, nice personality, not bitchy , independant, smart, funny, etc etc]Miss ChewChew says: YES HE DID
Miss ChewChew: f*ck i wished i saved the CHAT

moi says: oh
moi says: wow
moi says: i've never had someone wanna meet me
moi says: ok i'm game

It was a mini-date since Miss ChewChew babysat me through it. There was no kuch-kuch hota hai between Mr Company Jacket and I but despite that I had a surprisingly amusing time. So what went wrong?? I’m relatively virgin in the dating scene so I don’t know if I’m thinking appropriately but here’s where I think made me NOT fancy him.

X no.1:
he made Miss ChewChew come pick him up at his place ‘cos it was too inconvenient/lazy/far/whatever for him to get to his car. [adoii, no-lah in any case he should have just met us there. I mean which boy doesn’t like to drive on his own? I’m not used to this ‘cos all boysy boys I know would wanna take their car]
X no.2: he was wearing his company jacket when we pulled up at his place [company jacket. Unless he works for Donald Trump, I’d rather he put on a vest or a male cardigan]X no.3: when Miss ChewChew poked fun at the fact he was wearing his company jacket, he replied “Cold-lah” [I don’t really know what to say]
X no.4: as much as I was very impressed with all the rubbish he has tried (I mean we’re talking opium weiii) and am highly inquisitive to know more ‘bout it all… I don’t think I wanna get with a person as adventurous as that. I need someone to ground my bad habits not encourage it-lah
X no.5: he should have paid for drinks. Besides he ate and ordered an extra drink for himself.
X no.6: he's small and I'm FAT. I need to have someone taller or stronger to even out the equation.
So no wedding bells ahoy this time. I think we were both interesting people with interesting things to say so conversations did flow well regardless of lack in BZZZT. I was very interested to know them sh*t he tried in Thailand and he was very interested to know them sh*t that happens in the ER. Mostly getting-to-know-new-people business and all those harmless crap. Ah Zai dropped by and it was a welcoming break to our party of 3. Mr Company-Jacket offered to roll us a joint filled with his best leaves: Indon leaves wohhh (kekeke ironic that I’d be smoking Indon hash in Msia). He mentioned a name but I forgot… anyways I was going on and on over how I tried pot at Miss ChongChong’s a century ago in Melbourne with a bong, but didn’t feel anything since I didn’t know how to inhale. Mr Company-Jacket was excited to get me high. I was too. I should know what being high is all about. It would be like research!! Aiya I have the curiousity level of a toddler mah so I took on his offer. Ah Zai too got excited since it’s been ages since he got some ;D So the three of us excited losers drove over to Mr Company-Jacket’s place where he took FOREVER to roll a joint. While waiting, I decided to do some msg-ing, beats watching Miss ChewChew and boyfriend canoodle.

(msg)moi: I’m gonna try pot 2dayAh Choy: Hehe. Make sure u lose your cherry tonight. Cos after u take it, its uncontrollable high.
moi: U take b4 ah??
Ah Choy: Yeah.
moi: omgggggggg wahhhhhhhhh. Cool. D fucker not yet come out wit d joint. Damn sien.Ah Choy: Just drink more water, it’s very dry.
moi: No water wohhh… We in car. I’m tired of waitg 4 him 2 get his damn stash. M*tha F*cka.

*Just so you know:*
Marijuana’s adult name is Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). The main alkaloid contained in pot is Dronabinol. This Dronabinol entity is the one responsible for the production of euphoria that is followed by drowsiness and relaxation, depending on social situation.

It impairs short-term memory and mental activity [stone-lah] as well as decrease muscle strength and impair highly skilled motor activities, such as that required to drive a car. It increases appetite, causes xerostomia, visual hallucinations, delusions and enhancement of sensory activity.
Pot effects show immediately after smoking, but maximal effects take about 20 minutes. By 3 hours, the effects largely disappear. Adverse effects include an increased heart rate, decreased blood pressure, and a reddening of conjunctiva. At high dose, a toxic psychosis develops. Tolerance and mild physical dependence occur with frequent use of the drug

(Lippincott’s Illustrated Reviews: Pharmacology)

Funny that Ah Choy mentioned ‘bout water ‘cos as Mr Company-Jacket climbed into the backseat of the car, he brought with him a big bottle of water. Anyways as Ah Zai breezed through the streets of KL (we decided to smoke it in his car: safest), I did my best to inhale the sh*t. At some points Ah Zai’s cognitive skills seems off ‘cos he like f*cked up bit while driving [N.B: refer to ‘Just so you know’ above]. Miss ChewChew didn’t smoke much so she functioned as the ‘official passer’. Ah Zai told me to take it in ‘till I cough. The more I cough the better. I coughed and coughed. But hmm… nada!! I suppose I must have done a bad job inhaling ‘cos I felt nothing. No changes. I did, however, feel like my brain turned numb but that’s just about it. No uncontrollable HIGH. What’s high? Question left unanswered. I have yet to re-try for the third time. Goodness knows when the opportunity will come. Till then at least the mini-date ended up with Ah Zai and Mr Company-Jacket stoned.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

the escargot fiasco

So glad to be home.

First on list: outing with Ah Choy and Ah Yeoh.

As usual there’d be the age-old dispute on whose car we should take and where the heck we should go. Sometimes I cannot believe that despite all these years we still bicker over those same 2 issues EVERY single time we go out. Fortunately for me since my Kenari is so DUNZO, it’s never in the running for the-chosen-one. Besides they’re both the sweetest things on earth and would never let me drive [or pay… YEAYYY!!]. I really don’t understand how come Ah Choy makes me do the spot-choosing when I’m hardly ever in the country. It’s been 7 years, and when I’m ever home it rarely stretches over a fortnight so how is it possible I know good places?? As for Ah Yeoh’s suggestions (more of The Star Lifestyle turn Ah Yeoh suggestions), after the stint in Frangipani, we tend to be highly sceptical of his proposals.

Eventually, we ended up driving around Bangsar in search of some place decent enough for a pleasant meal. As we drove by Monte’s, Ah Yeoh passed a remark regarding how he heard it was pretty good a place. Jalan Telawi didn’t seem to have anything enticing to offer so we settled with Monte’s in the end and had to drive all the way BACK to Bangsar Shopping Centre. We do that (runaround) SO much!!

Since Ah Yeoh was buying dinner, Ah Choy decided to be cheeky and mockingly wondered whether the lobster was fresh that night. Both of them always crack me up. I think we bring different dynamics to the relationship that, quirkily enough, we WORK. Heaven knows how but we WORK *giggle*. Ah Choy was serious about the escargots and scallops entrée though, so we got that.

(conversation)Ah Yeoh: What are escargots?moi: Posh balitung.

OMG I’m telling you the escargots were so YUMMM I almost passed out in glee :D There I was just lapping up the delectable delicacies (literal tongue-macking and finger-licking… so I’m GROSS… sue me XP) while the both of them stared at me like I hadn’t eaten in days. Aaah whatever. Nobody gets between me and good, expensive food. Ah Yeoh wasn’t really impressed with the escargots though:

clockwise from top L: j'adore escargots; Ah Choy; main courses; Ah Yeoh

(conversation)Ah Yeoh: I don’t know why people make such a big deal about escargots. I mean, she goesMmmMmmMmm. I don’t think it’s that special. Just food people blow out of proportion.Ah Choy: I thought the escargots were good. I like escargots.
moi: I concur!! OMG they were *feigns a swoon* Ah Yeoh, how come you didn’t like the escargots?? I really thought they did a damn great job with the dish-lah.Ah Choy: Maybe it’s ‘cos you didn’t get the escargots issit?? I only had one though.Ah Yeoh: I also only had one I think.Ah Choy: Got 6 shells what… should have si…*2 pairs of eyes dart at my FAT face. My eyes go into exolphthalmus mode*
moi: OMGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so sorry!!!!! I swear I didn’t know we were supposed to have 2 escargots each. I just ate and ate whatever came in my spoons’ way. OMG I’m so sorry I ate all your escargots!!Ah Yeoh: Bloody damn greedy-lah you.Ah Choy: YALAH. Eat other people’s properties.
moi: *feels like sh*t… yet continues to chow down*
I really should be more attentive with portions. I mean thank goodness I’m just out with Ah Choy and Ah Yeoh so I don’t really care if they think me a glutton ‘cos they already know I am. Sometimes I cannot believe that I ate all their escargots. HAHAHA bloody funny that is, now that I think of it. My main course (some fish thing) wasn’t so great but I had lotsa white wine to keep me in the mood. It was good catching up with the both of them… cannot believe it has been 6 months since we last saw each other. My fault at that, I did keep my previous trip home a hush-hush. It didn’t really matter, Ah Choy was in Pattaya and I might not have gone out with Ah Yeoh alone. It’s simply juvenile of me to still be so conscious over the past… I should cut him some slack. So he fancied me and I totally did not fancy him back… so what?? I have to move on… he did.

Something uncomfortable happened during the conversation back in Monte’s that Ah Yeoh didn’t wanna stay for drinks with us. He NEVER not want to stay for drinks with us. We’re talking US you know? How dare he not stay? Ah Choy thinks I’m being paranoid about Ah Yeoh being blue since I’m such a positive popper this trip. Ah Choy ALWAYS thinks I’m being paranoid ‘bout everything. I really think I’m quite sensitive to situations. Just like the time I felt Ah Yeoh was hitting on me and now I am sure he merajuk.

(msg)moi: R u sad?
(after 2 days of silence)
Ah Yeoh: Im sad becos I ll never get 2 be al [as in Ah Choy] best buddy im sad cause u never gave me a chance 2prove a point Anyways I think I think too much Here’s to 12 years of friends
moi: Here’s d deal: sumtims u think u think 2 much but really u shud consider d perspective u’re thinking from. If u think 2 much fr d wrong perspective it’s really nt worth thinkg at all. U hv 2 start explorg d world of ideas out ther. It comes from reading, from meetg ppl, from experience. 1 experience don’t make u a guru… but yes, I agree I shud hv at least heard u out. Tat is my mistake n I’m sorry. Noone is ah choy’s best bud, includg me. 13 not 12 yrs.Ah Yeoh: believe me it’s a collection of evidences fr years of hearin ppl out n interrelate it wit mine tat I render it to be useful to talk it thru Wit u its like anything I said u’ll give it a no no as if its useless2even listen I admit sometimes I attempt of makin jokes & occasionally makin silly of myself but pls respect me as individualAh Yeoh: Its 12 & 3 month from Jan 94 All in all its good 2 know tat next time around I ll know how 2 adapt Oh another thing u guys r not the only reason why im sad
Ah Yeoh: If anything im just glad u guys r my best bud instead of others Gladly 2 join d pact I ll say im just not happy bein stagnant In another word I envy u guys but happy
moi: I know tat u envy us. If anytg, d grass is alwys greener. I hv new found motto in life: if u want sumtin 2 happen, u hv 2 make effort 2 go get it. U r young… there’s a big world out there 2 b xploitd in ur youth. I apologiz tat I don’t giv u a chance 2 input, I shud hv allowd diversity in conversatn

OK from a third party’s point of view, Ah Choy and I: big bullies and Ah Yeoh: victim. I admit I was rough on him. But he really should just stop trying so hard and just be himself. He tends to trip over his thoughts (worse than I do) and end up with the most juvenile exclamations (worse than I do). Poor him. It’s not that I don’t appreciate his outlook on life but there are elements in his perspectives that seems impractical. But then again, who am I to judge what is practical or the contrary?? I was a crap friend and I should have let him say what he wanted to say.

Friday, March 24, 2006

"hooked on a feeling, i’m high on believing..."

The best thing happened to me today. I went to the Pediatrics canteen to grab a couple of snacks (gorengan + teh botol Sosro) and guess who I happened to bump into… Mr Hotstuff!! *grin* Such a pleasure to see him so early in the morning. An absolutely great start to my day. I didn’t bother calling out to him ‘cos he looked really busy gobbling up a lontong. He must be rushing off to morning follow-ups. I, on the other hand, am totally free from follow-ups mainly because there are hardly any patients in the NCCU AND they’re already on monitors anyway. Coma patients are a sad sight especially if they’re on ventilators so I don’t usually hang around, if you know what I mean. As I was paying for my brief breakfast, I heard him call out to me :) *swoon*

Mr Hotstuff: You didn’t ‘jaga’ Sunday. You exchanged ‘jaga’, didn’t you??moi: (OMG HE NOTICED!!! KA CHING) Yeah…Mr Hotstuff: You were asked for that I was?? But it’s impossible, I’ve already asked permission from Peri (chief-co) and I was granted permission from Dr Daddy. OMG who was it that sought after me??Mr Hotstuff: *chuckles* No, I’m just Are you sure?? I mean who was it that’s looking for me? I have a perfect explanation for my absence.Mr Hotstuff: *chuckles more* No-lah, it’s just me. I was asking after *a little stunned* (OMG, he asked after me: double glee!!) *proceeds to playfully hit him*
Mann I sure wish he was mine. That chick of his is sure one lucky lucky lady. He’s everything I ever wanted in a man (I think) except that he’s taken. They all are. WTF.

clockwise from top L: most of 'em beloved angkatan (batch of '99) and of course never forgetting Mr Hotstuff right in the middle *grins*; moi and happy people; Miss RusRus + moi; moi + Miss AriAri

I’m so upset that today’s my last ‘jaga’. I mean it’s all very bittersweet really. I’m happy that Surgery is coming to an end ‘cos I’m so tired out by all the workload and constant ‘jaga’ yet I’m gonna miss everyone I ever met in Surgery. The ’99 batch who are ever so kind to me and the lovely lovely Surgical residents who think me a cupcake. Even the Consultants are pleasurable. I’ve been having such a great great time that 9 weeks passed me by in such a jiffy I haven’t even had time to mope. I’ve not cried at all the entire time despite PMS moments. WOW. I know!!
clockwise from top L: entrance to ER; lil' cubicle where the phone is + med supplies and wash-sink (sometimes I nap on that table in wee hours of morning); portable oxygen tank (gets spoilt alot); view of ER from main desk
Everyone back home and around the world are wondering how come I’ve not been corresponding… I guess I’ve been having such a great time I find no reason to have to b*tch about my life or pinpoint crappy aspects of it (which makes up ¾ of most of my email contexts). Surgery sub-division turned my life around: it made me fall in love with Medicine and most of all it showed me that life could be about happiness if I only allowed it to enter my door. I know it’s absolutely pompous to say but I am so popular it’s beyond me. I’ve always been slightly famous but here it’s like my Cheers where EVERYONE knows my name. And I love it that they do. It’s like my first taste on being a celebrity and I’m lovin’ it!! Surgery has taught me to give myself more credit and to learn to embrace my character than to try change it. Of course I will still continue my attempt at losing weight or being prettier but at least now I don’t hate how I look as much.
clockwise from top L: Dr Maya + moi; my favourite Ah Nggie; Ah Nggie + Miss InaIna + Miss MuMu + moi; moi + Ah Manurung!!

I mean, look at me, I’m actually staying till Monday for the last morning ‘jaga’ report. I NEVER do that. I’m always the first to jet home the moment the bell rings. But here I am, altering my ticket… to stay on. I’m actually wasting both a Sunday and a Monday. MANNN: I cannot believe my infatuation for Surgery. I’m hooked on it like a drug.

clockwise from top L: the Aquarium (feels like you're staring into a bubble yah?); Pharmacy depot where we get med supplies; my perfect i.v infuse; Ah Manurung + I (partners for the night) searching for rehydration calculations; moi practices safe medicine by disposing syringes at apporpriate waste container; pouting 'cos have to cover other people's patients since fella in charge went MIA

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

date non?

(sms)Miss YuliaYulia: Dokter Dadster says yes..! U named de day.. Dia blk slasa (he returns Tuesday). Maw lu yg sms dia or how (do you wanna do the sms-ing or how)?

SO I secara tidak langsung (indirectly) asked Dr Dadster out on a date. SO I’m a desperate spinster… SO?!! At least I can do something about it still. It all started today when Miss YuliaYulia runs up behind me and tells me the weirdest news she’d gotten while we were seating ourselves down for Monday morning’s mid-week ‘jaga’ report [basically every few days there’s a report presentation on interesting cases that popped up whilst ‘jaga’. I get really excited if any of the featured cases happen to be my patient. Almost every week ever since I started surgery, my patients happen to be stars of the day. It’s just one of those silly things that gets me really excited]. Dr Dadster. is A-MARRIED. As in SINGLE. As in DIVORCED. Whoah!! I’ve heard loadsa rumours ‘bout him like how he’s all involved with Dr Momster despite being all married and how his wife wants an open relationship upon where she, despite marriage, would like each other to be free to go out with anyone they like and there are even rumous ‘bout his wife being DEAD!! As Dr Dadster walked by, Miss YuliaYulia quickly called out to him.

Sometimes Miss YuliaYulia can have a tact problem. I mean OK it’s bad enough she’s questioning him ‘bout his divorce in front of our group but there was another group of interns in the Neurosurgery lobby as well. I bet he didn’t feel comfortable speaking ‘bout it. Anyway Miss ElsEls managed to confirm the fact that she’s bau-bau bacang-ly (distantly) related to Dr Dadster’s ex-wife. The world is too small!!

Basically since I’m his pet and he sorta owes me a meal, Miss YuliaYulia made it very clear, absolutely blatant actually *rolls eyes + shudders*, that I’d like to ask him out. He probably finds me as amusing as a monkey in a zoo which is why he agreed to it anyway. Oh well I don’t care, I really need to get a date before April turns f*cking 14!! I cannot believe it’s been a year since I made this silent pact to do so and yet I’ve done nothing and even when I do something it ends up amounting to nothing. And time’s ticking TICK TOCK TICK TOCK and finally when I do get gutsy enough to ask someone out he turns out to be in a relationship [Apparently Mr X IS IN A RELATIONSHIP!! OMG. I really should have done better research!! No wonder he turned me down and it’s also wajar that he did!! He should have just let me know from the moment I asked him out so that I know and things could be cool. Oh well]. And now that someone even bothers to wanna go out with me, he’s umm checking the D-box. Oh well what can I say?? Better than nothing. Technically speaking he IS single. I’m not really that jeepers creepers over the upcoming date, maybe ‘cos I’m very determined that I’m not his type and I know this is not going to turn into something further than a night out. I’m actually pretty cool ‘bout this. Basically he just left for Medan today for some surgery business and will be back on Tuesday which is the day I leave for home. I guess we’ll just have to pick up from where we left off after I return from Malaysia. Damn. Why can’t a date be easy for me? Why can’t they just be hot, single, available and open for dates the very next day??

Friday, March 10, 2006

no dial tone

OMG!!! WTF?!! I am so frustrated!! Monumentally frustrated!! It all started when Miss KhaiKhai told me the other day there’s a way to get internet in our rooms… all I need is to get a cdma-card whachamachalit stuck in this slot in my Vaio and shazamm (!!) internet. The contraption is so-called sold OUT in BEC (Bandung Electronic Centre) so I figured it must be something pretty great. I thought I’d wait it out and see but my fingers got itchy for net-access in the comforts of my room so I dragged Miss MasMas for company to IP (Istana Plaza) this afternoon and bought it pronto. Everything worked out pretty fine and they installed it OK but as soon as I reached home I immediately tried to log on and guess what: “ NO DIAL TONE”!! WHAT TH..?!! OMGGGGGG!!!!! I’m so f*cking pissed ‘cos I paid a b*stard sum for this piece of cr*p sh*t metal and it can’t even dial!! OMG!!!! My biggest worry is that the Fren (provider) network does not cover my area. What?!! I cannot believe that I’m faced with the same connection problem as I did back in Jatinangor. I mean Jatinangor I can bloody understand it is a freaking kampung after all but this is bloody Pasteur where I live. The bloody hospital is my g*dd*mn neighbour!! This is the so-called third largest city so they had better not f*cking come and tell me that the coverage is only limited to the f*cking shopping mall and flanking buildings ‘cos I can get FREE internet access from Melsa (provider) in IP and I had better not have splurged RM700 on a cr*ppy wireless card f*ck that will not work in my area. I mean what’s the point in advertising this thing if can’t work outside the bloody mall??!! I mean like OMG SOMETIMES I HATE THIS STUPID PLACE ‘COS EVERYTHING I NEED TO DO HAS TO BE ATTENDED TO AT LEAST THRICE BEFORE IT CAN WORK. I MEAN WHAT IS F*CKING WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?!! WHY CAN’T THEY JUST HAVE A SYSTEM WHERE THINGS JUST WORK. WORK, YOU KNOW WORK?!! It’s, like, it doesn’t even exist in their f*cking vocab. Like they don’t know what work is. OMG!! And they complain that development in their country is going nowhere. Look at how they’re freaking cons?? Internet my *ss!! How to progress-ah?!!

I’m just so irritated today. Everything’s just going WRONG WRONG WRONG. First and foremost after morning follow-up, as I skipped into the Pediatrics common room to potter about while waiting for visite (rounds), Miss FikFik stares my way and gives me eye gestures. As I turned to see what she was gesturing towards was: it was Mr X!! Already I had to hide under tables whenever I saw him walk past me in the Orthopaedics department and pray he never ‘jaga’ the same shift as I… and now he’s here in Pediatrics too?!! Isn’t my life pretty much hell already? Someone up there in the high heaven must absolutely love watching me do the run-around. I tried to duck under a table to avoid being obliged to show acknowledgement but there wasn’t enough space to squeeze under. I HAVE GOTTEN SO FAT I DON’T EVEN FIT UNDER A TABLE!! So I sprang up and, very nonchalantly, seated myself on the chair. I could see from the corner of my eyes that he had spotted me. Drats. Pretended to be engrossed in my groupmates’ discussion on something random like omphalocele (pediatric disease where there’s basically a congenital malformation at the umbilical area forming a hole where the entire guts + other internal organs spill out from) or something. When he wasn’t looking I quickly made a dash for the door. Arriving outside of the common room, I felt a surge of amity. My group mates gathered around a resident to yak and stuff when he calls out to me. His colleague is supposedly infatuated with me. *rolls my eyes* Not another Mr Scary to add to my worries. It is then when Mr X walks out to join our friendly discussion. I’m thinking why?? He already knows how uncomfortable I could get around him so why do that? Has he no compassion? I mean I’ve already done him and myself a favour by leaving the room, the least he could do is stay in. So there I was forced to be pleasant and neutral with a person who just slapped me off with a fly-swatter. I really don’t understand the purpose of him acting this way. Does he really need to make my life even more tragic than it already is?? NO UNDERSTANDING MEN.
And then case report session was absolutely disastrous!! I mean for starters being Miss CessCess' partner is like putting Paris and Nicole up for an SAT exam the very next day. I am highly thankful that Miss CessCess, despite previous history of intolerable attitude, did the entire case report on her own. Whee!! ‘Cos I didn’t do a thing. Unfortunately, it came with a Miss CessCess price of course. It wasn’t exactly ace quality and we really got it bad during the presentation. Thing is I don’t really put the full blame on Cessy. Miss FikFik and Miss YuliaYulia were the ones who did the history taking and physical examination. Their results were pretty abysmal hence our abysmal report. I was just dismayed that they somehow or rather accused Miss CessCess of not following their anamnesis entirely etc… I think both parties are to blame: them for their absolute sh*t note-taking and us for our absolute sh*t presentation. There should have been no excuses and no finger-pointing. After talking the incident over with Miss HilHil I realized the reason why everything was blown out of proportion was because the duo already had beef with Miss CessCess and this just added to the building aggravation. Ahh I get it now. Still this was this and that should have been just that. You know women, we are so emotional. It’s no wonder why we’re not allowed to rule the world.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

ah fit rules!!

I was deadbeat after ‘jaga’ so with the Surgical Pediatrics Polyclinic all quiet and stuff I stole away to the back examination cubicle to catch some zzzs. [Yeah, I’m tired and I went to sleep during working hours. It’s called Power Nap. Sue me!!] We were all supposed to go to Papa Ron’s for all-you-can-eat pizza buffet after the clinic closes. After sleeping for some time I suddenly woke up in a start, as I poked my head out to check the coast, guess whose face I saw first: MR Scary. Aiii!! My bad luck. He was definitely excited to see me. He insisted I sit with him as he had something really interesting to show me [It had better not be his c*ck]. He drew out the new Dopod pro 818 in black. He just bought it woh. He offered it to me timm. I still don’t know till now if he’s joking but he really did want me to take it. His excuse was that since I’m a girl I should use a cute one like it. It really was cute and the temptation was building. But OF COURSE I refused [how could I not? I had a conscience of a monk]. Firstly ‘cos it’s NOT PINK. Secondly, I bet he wanted something really naughty in return and thirdly, he’s not even hot. In fact, he’s so sleazy looking just a glance of him makes me wanna hurl!!

Sometimes Dr Dadster just makes me giggle like a school girl. Like the fact he goes: “S*****!! Come to Papa!!” everytime he sees me. it’s just absolutely hilarious. I really am gonna miss Surgery and all the attention I’m getting. Damn (!!) why do good things always have to come to an end?

Ah Fit is the absolute darling. He lets me borrow Mr Hotstuff’s passport picture to be scanned since I’m such a big fan of the bugger. Sometimes I just feel like giving him a hug [though I won’t ‘cos he’s a pious Muslim and all: I mean sometimes he’s even reluctant to shake my hand] ‘cos he totally gets me. He entertains my ridiculous whims and tells me those weird anecdotes that I love to hear.

Like this story on Adam and Eve (Adam dan Hawa-lah since he’s Muslim): basically since Adam gave Eve, like, a rib or half a rib or something, the significance of that is when a boy meets a girl and that part of the rib that was broken off for Eve tingles, it means he’s found his soulmate. That’s his Eve. Like OMG isn’t that story to-die-for??

I know Mr Scary gets a lil’ jealous when he sees Ah Fit and I hanging out or talking quietly together [yeah we yak a lot mainly ‘cos he thinks I’m a MAD woman and mainly ‘cos he listens to my MAD sh*t] and he started teasing the both of us. I mean how childish can he get? That is SO primary school. Grow up!! Also I feel he’s kinda making life a lil’ hard for Ah Fit too… apart from being all flirty with me, Mr Scary is actually quite a stern senior resident. I mean he basically yells at people and stuff. Everyone’s puzzled how come he’s so freaking nice to me. I seriously have no idea. I don’t understand why he thinks I’m cute. OK I AM CUTE but… I dunno why can’t he just find some other bimbo who’d actually give a damn. I’m sure there are LOADS of hot Bandung chicks who would love to give him the time of day, with him being a resident and all that. I’m like FAT and un-hot and weird. I mean he really puzzles me. It’s like to boys I really have the hots for, I’m, like, this nothing and to people who I totally do not fancy, they in some bizarre-bermuda-triangle way, think I’m cute. Why do I attract all these weirdos?!!

Anyway, in any case, Ah Fit rules!!

Monday, March 06, 2006

Mr X

Recovering from Friday’s ‘jaga’. I feel so much better sleeping in till 10am today. I hardly get to do that ‘cos Orthopedics require us to follow-up patients at 5-freaking-30 in the morning EVERY morning. Besides Ah Uto and I had a patient with a hematoma in his occipital (giant blood clot at the back of his head) that had active bleeding and kept us busy for 6 hours straight. I distinctively told Irvan (chief intern of the day) that he should hold handing us any more patients for abit so we could get a breather. But nooooo… next thing you know, he throws us a 4-year-old boy who got bitten by the neighbour’s dog in the ass. You’d think it was one of those things you’d only imagine and that it was mere fear that keeps us away from dogs but guess what?! It really does happen. That poor boy.

I don’t recover as well as I used to, post-‘jaga’. I mean it used to be...
DAY ONE: ‘jaga’
DAY TWO: rest
DAY THREE: perky self pops back up
DAY FOUR: do a lil’ “menabung tidur” (energy conservation)
DAYONE: Oooh ‘jaga’.

Now it’s DAY ONE: ‘jaga’
DAY TWO: rest
DAY THREE: more rest
DAY FOUR: still more rest
DAY ONE: WTF?!! ‘jaga’ already?!!

As much as I find ‘jaga’ to be absolutely deploring, I am secretly addicted to it somehow or rather. I love the sense of belonging the ER gives me. Especially the feeling of being in need or the fact that everything or anything I do counts be it something absolutely petty as noting the respiration rate or removing clothes (exposure). I am so significant in the ER. Residents and patients need me which is such a special feeling. Life starts to depend on me: it can be quite overwhelming at times but mostly reassuring. Reassuring because it helps me learn to enjoy what I do even more and that ultimately I am doing something worth something. It’s silly that I still have to convince myself everyday to keep myself in the zone *shrug*.

So many things happened this week. Like the fact I asked an orthopaedics surgical resident out and he turned me DOWN :P Yup, he did. You can imagine what it did to my already-bruised ego. Thing is I thought I’d get all devastated and sh*t over it but surprisingly enough I didn’t allow it to get to me that badly. Perhaps with all the work I’m buried under, I moved on much more quickly and was not more bothered about it than I imagined I would have been. I mean like, hello (??), there’re things called grades!! Also I got, like, full score for Orthopaedics from my Proceptor, Dr Nucky, which is sooo cool. I abso-f*cking-lutely lurrrve Dr Nucky. He’s such a great person!! I mean when it comes to academics he’s really serious about it but when he lets loose he’s the fun-nest person to talk to. He tells us all these weird facts of life regarding sex and realities about marriages. I LOVE it!! I know some people in my group get kinda uneasy with the filthy jokes or the bizarre stories he relays to us but I totally lap it up. Weird thing is I kinda know nuts bout Orthopaedics but I got an 8 (full marks). Weird ah? Most of the smarties I know got a 7. Kekeke *smiles in the inside* Dr Nucky thinks I’m ignorant or in his exact words “polos” which means see-through. He told me that I should learn to be craftier in order to survive in our line of duty. I shall remember that always. Dr Nucky rules!! And then there’s this boy who got bitten by a snake and he brought it in a plastic mineral bottle. VERY WEIRD. Oh oh and Dr Nucky thought I was 17 years old!! I haven’t the faintest idea how come everyone thinks I’m a bloody teenager. I mean I’m turning quarter a century and everyone thinks I’m this absolute kid. VERY VERY WEIRD.

Maybe I should elaborate on Mr X: the resident who turned down my date invite. I christen him Mr X ‘cos he literally X-ed me. X me. X me?? I mean I know I’m no Miss Dominican Republic but it’s not like I’m asking him to marry me. I just wanted a date: go out… maybe if we’re lucky and get past the awkwardness… actually have some fun. G*d knows how much I need some. Also I promised myself I WILL go out on a freaking date before I bloody turn 25. I’m turning 25 so soon that I could give Dominoes delivery a run for their money. I figured I should alter my old mentality of being such a schmuck ‘bout dating and do something about my debilitating social life. Just do it. So Nike says. I mean don’t they research that most of the times when we ‘Just Do It’ we end up ‘F*cking It’? The entire day that I had intended to ask him out, visions of Ivan’s ‘Run Forest Run’ scenario kept flashing in my mind again and again and again. It really made me reconsider oh-so-many times whether I should go ahead with the plan or not. Everyone totally thinks I should gather some balls and try it out. So at one point as he was about to leave the building I suddenly decided that I would f*cking do it!! I mean he’s bound to say yes. It’s just a date right? I overestimated myself:

moi: Dr!!Mr X: Yes?moi: Umm Dr would you like to go out with me this Saturday night?Mr X: Uhh… what do you mean?
moi: Would you like to, I dunno, watch a movie or something with me tomorrow night?Mr X: I ‘jaga’ tomorrow night.(S I L E N C E for 7 whole seconds… I know ‘cos I counted :P)
moi: Oh OK, thank you Dr. *turns around and RUNS*
I know it was lame for me to thank him but I really didn’t know what else to say. To push it by suggesting another time would seem so desperate. I had better salvage whatever integrity I had left and leave. I mean if he was genuinely interested in going out with me he could at least have offered another day but he didn’t so thus I just humiliated myself in front of him and my group mates (they tagged behind me as moral support). It was like reliving ‘Run Ivan Run’ all over again!! I mean I know people always feel so mortified that they wish the world would open up and swallow them whole, it would be really helpful if that could actually happen. I mean I’m not hurt, just disappointed and even a lil’ pissed off. Everyone was trying to console me like I lost my puppy but I really wasn’t so unhappy, just stunned that I got turned down yet again. I was not in lurrrve with him. I just thought his intelligence was SO compelling and when I heard he was single (a senior chief resident informed me), I figured what the heck: you’re single.. I’m single.. let’s date!! What’s most important to me is my reputation but there’s a big chance tomorrow I might be known as that Malaysian-girl-whose-date-invitation-got-turned-down-by-Mr-X. I might not be able to live this down. All he needs to do is just tell one colleague and the whole f*cking hospital would be in the know tomorrow. Oh where am I gonna put my face?? I really don’t know why I did it, now that I have ample time to really consider. I’m so MAD that I’m beyond my own comprehension. Now all I hope is that I don’t ever bump into him anymore (especially during ‘jaga!! Oh how I pray) and that I never need to visit the Orthopaedics department. He could have just saved us all the trouble and tell me he’s dating someone else or something. Damn. “I ‘jaga’ tomorrow night.” It’s the lamest excuse ever, couldn’t he have been more original? :P
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