Wednesday, January 11, 2006

light up

Tomorrow’s my written exam. Heh, I’m clueless but partially apathic. Guess it does help to have a couple of smokes when you feel like the world’s going to crumble tomorrow. In my case I had the whole pack. That’s why I don’t make it a habit to pick up a cigarette because when I do I tend to finish the entire freaking carton. I’m feeling a little better, a little more alert and a little less hungry *snap snap for nicotine* :) Haven’t puffed in ages so I take this as a welcome break [my face begs to differ: I’ve got eye bags big enough to fit my Dopod]. Hung out with Miss MasMas and Ah Koso. They’re chimney buddies. Miss MasMas calls tobacco her ‘nebu’ (she picked the lingo up in OBGYN) as in nebulizer *giggle*

Haven’t yabbered with Ah Koso in ages. Every time when we do get together I feel like we’re always having the same intense analysis about my weight, his relationships, the underlying principle of my singularity and the diverse human personality. I wonder how we never get bored speaking about the same sh*t again and again and again. I love it that he loves to sit with me and wonder why I’m such a spinster. I hate to admit it but figuring out why I’m SO AVAILABLE is actually my most favourite topic of discussion. He bears with me when I ask him crappy questions like: “Why don’t boys like me?!!” “What is it that boys want?!!” “What’s wrong with me?!!” “What should I do to make them like me?!!” The reply is pretty much the same as always: “Be patient.” “Be yourself” “You’re picky” “Have more faith in yourself” KAKAKA What a joke!!

Ah Koso’s a mini genius. I remember a long while back, I asked him how he rose from a nobody to the third best in our class and he told me ‘cos he wanted to be Ah Tan’s par. Although he could not be the same level as Ah Tan, as he still desired a mad social life, but being a contender sufficed him. Lately he got the highest in Neurology. I requested for tips on how to make it since I’m like a lost boat at sea when it comes to academics. One thing absolutely great about Ah Koso is his will to share his intelligence should he have any. Basically he told me to: study smart as in focus on important cases not nonsensical rare diseases that will rarely make appearances in my practicing life [OK-lah that’s not entirely fresh news to me but I guess it further instils the fact I should be more practical in my studying… quality not quantity]; focus on strengthening my short-term memory plus don’t YAK / DISCUSS with anyone prior to the examination so that my focus remains on whatever memory I have from cramming last night and NOT this morning’s gossip of who broke up with who [he knows my weakness] as well as to learn and play to my strengths [his is mind-mapping, mine is probably cute neat notes with lots of arrows].

Ah Koso thinks I’m wise. KAKAKAKAKAKA. Joke of the century!! I explained to him I owe it to our age differences. I AM 3 years older than he and somehow or rather 3 years of extra time does make a difference in one’s maturity. Also I’ve encountered a river of personalities to be able to roughly judge what sort of a person one is. I’m right about my instinct majority of the time. And Ah Koso and I, we sort of travelled the same road enough for me to be able to interpret his circumstances. He used to despise his father and told the whole world that his dad was this evil-esque man. Everyone took pity on him except me. When it was my turn to hear about the big-bad-man story, I told him he judged his father wrongly and that there are some actions that needed to be looked upon in a different perspective. Maybe ‘cos I travelled a similar path before that I could see familiar landmarks in the parent-child relationship we both have. In that matter I was subtly right, he loves his dad to death now *rolls my eyes* Children!!

It seems Ah Tavian has been passing remarks about me to Ah Koso. I didn’t know they’re good friends. I am no fun woh. KAKAKA. Ah Tavian says I started out as this potential anak bandel (naughty child) playmate but then I turned all serious and studious hence NO FUN woh. KAKAKA. I find it hilarious that people think I’m such a bookworm. I fool them well. I definitely could do with MORE diligence. Ah Tavian is playful but he has a knack of being able to instantly remember / recall information well [actually everyone in medicine sans moi seem to have it] which he probably got off his dad’s (head of Public Health dept) great brain genes. He forgets that there are run of the mill common people (ME) who don’t have the luxury of a photographic memory. He can play and still score. I can’t play if I want to score. In every pursuit, something’s gotta give. I choose to attempt at scoring. Now, being a hermit is second nature to me. Sometimes I, myself, cannot believe I used to go out clubbing almost EVERY NIGHT if not every weekend. 4-inch heels to me were as comfortable as Birkenstocks. I was quite the social butterfly-lho. What can I say? *grin* Never thought this day would arrive but I’m turning into my mother.

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