Monday, January 30, 2006

dog dog chiang

Very relieved that I did not have ER night duty yesterday or today. I am on, though, tomorrow which is pretty alright ‘cos Tuesday is Awal Muharram making it a public holiday so I can catch up on sleep then. I should sleep soon to conserve energy for tomorrow.

Sent an email to Sunshine P today. Just a brief note to say hello. It’s different this time. I don’t pause to wonder if I’m doing the right thing or not by sending him an email of which prior to this, I usually debate in my head a trillion times before sending / thrashing the draft. It all started when I started listing out boys in my life when I suddenly remembered I did not consult Miss RemRem’s tarots about Sunshine P. How could I NOT remember? Anyway I just thought I’d playfully ask about Sunshine P. I was not looking for an answer or craved direction. I have already closed this chapter of my life and as corny as it sounds, I’ve moved on. In the end, time is truly the healer. The cards spoke spookily about my current standpoint: that I’m taking a vacation from this ‘relationship’ to gather my thoughts, concentrating on building my own life, always in a hospital but not sick, moving on / closing this chapter of my life. The cards had some answers that I was always curious about: they spoke of Sunshine P requiring a change from me. A change from what I used to be. He is successful in terms of achieving what he went out to the world to fight for yet he feels so deprived. In fact, he is depressed and he constantly pauses to think of “what-ifs” between the both of us especially since he never gave things a chance with him taking into account the distance and the unlikelihood of us being able to get together. Now, he wants to be an influential person in my life: a father or a husband. There were lots of betrayal and misunderstandings. The conclusion of how we stand now is that: things could happen but it all depends on me. But should anything happen, the long-term prognosis would be a love-affair if I choose not to take the relationship in a different direction than what it used to be. There’re visions of a new beginning. There’s more but I’m just too weary to list them all. I don’t really want to think about it anyway. It was just to quench some inquisivity. I don’t want to raise more.

It helps to know he thinks of what-ifs. I’m past all that now but it’s reassuring that it wasn’t just a one-way channel all this while. I suppose in the end all I wanted to know was that I was loved. Genuinely. I always suspected he did and I’m not saying that it takes a bunch of f*cked-up cards to convince me so but it helps. Besides, I’m starting to improve myself on this whole self-confidence sh*t by easing into making myself believe that I am actually lovable.

Didn’t really know what to do for New Year’s first day so I decided to buy a couple of old friends lunch. Met Miss KhaiKhai and Miss TharThar at the grocery super mart and took them out for some Jap cuisine. Called Miss KosKos over too. Miss MasMas, Miss IyanIyan and Miss JoeJoe are in Malaysia or there’d be a bigger party. Bought everyone who bothered to msg me on the phone those so-called quality mandarins all wrapped up in posh plastic. Decided to get a bag of mini satsumas for my fellow ‘colleagues’ while at it.

Other than that, like I mentioned before, I should just menabung tenaga and get some sleep. It’s going to be a LOOONG day tomorrow.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

it's a bird, it's a plane...

I am SO tired. I haven’t slept a wink in 36 hours. 36 f*cking hours!! OK-lah perhaps I’m exaggerating: I did nod off 4 times and napped for 10 mins but damn, that’s probably just 20 minutes worth of sleep. I’m tired but I’m happy. On abit of a roll really. The past day and a half has been one of the best days ever since I started internship.

As a Surgical intern, we are required to do “jaga” / night duties every 4 days at the ER (ER weiii!!) from 2pm till 6am the next day and 10am on weekends. I felt quite timid ‘cos I was the only Urology intern to be on duty yesterday since I was the odd one out of the triple pairings. Although the UGD (Unit Gawat Darurat) aka ER in RSHS (Rumah Sakit Hasan Sadikin) isn’t as fast-paced and well-equipped as the one on TV (as we’re not on a 40-mins show slot and Indonesia don’t have many high-flying tax-payers) but the gist remains.

I decided to start off in my day clothes in case it gets soiled I’d have my scrubs to change into. We’re required to eventually wear scrubs later in the evening. Thank goodness there were so many familiar faces on duty that shift: Miss RusRus, Miss MuMu, Miss EwiEwi and most of all AH GGIES!! Oh how I miss Ah Ggies!! And I thought I’d never have the chance to hang out with him ever :) He’s just this absolutely great person that I very very like. His super cute American accent is to-die-for. I thought he’d make a great boyfriend for Miss KosKos but the lil’ b*tch Jasmine got to him first. Oh well. Not that I didn’t try *shrug* Since I really didn’t know what “jaga” is all about I trailed behind those who were familiar with the chief intern: Mr Hotstuff (more about him later *smirk*). Mr Hotstuff assigned me with Miss EvaEva (a senior) to a patient Mr Y. I was slightly familiar with Mr Y ‘cos the residents covered him in case-reporting session with consultants a day before. Brief history: approximately 2 days ago he was electrocuted and proceeded to fall from a height of approximately 8 meters. He is waiting for the green light from the OT for debridement but is not able to do so as there aren’t any beds available in the recovery ward.

The first thing that really hit me the moment I stepped into UGD is the (hmm… how can I put this lightly?) scent. No wonder people had to cover their noses and most of the newbies had masks on. I, myself, almost puked on the spot and it took me awhile to get used to the environment but I did in the end and I didn’t even have to put a mask on *snap snap for me* I didn’t know what to do. They thrusted his medical record into our hands and expected us to go on with it. Miss EvaEva had some experiences, I presume, ‘cos she looked like she kinda knew how to go about everything. Basically since he’s an electrical burn victim, it’s important for us to monitor his fluid input and output to make sure he doesn’t suffer from extreme dehydration. Also it’s essential to make sure his vital signs are stable. There I was just looking, (burn patients stink) totally flabbergasted at the sight of him. I mean they want me to handle him?? I’m not even that great at taking blood pressures(!!). I decided to try to be more useful than that. I mean I did desire the change in having more faith in myself. I proceeded to take his pulse as Miss EvaEva took his BP (blood pressure). Next thing I knew: ‘sweeping’ by the residents. This is when residents go from bed to bed checking on the patient’s progress, giving out orders and asking interns QUESTIONS. At least we were done with vitals so it could account for something. I could feel that Miss EvaEva desired something more than Mr Y (old patient) and she got what she wished for as Young-Man-F walked in with a heavily bleeding nose from a traffic accident. There were so many forms to fill and so many stuffs to be done with a new patient. Things just happen so fast and she spoke so swiftly. I felt very perplexed. I should have written a list of things-to-do. Never mind, I will the next time. He didn’t seem disorientated or suffered from any pain except his bleeding nose so it wasn’t a serious case probably to Miss EvaEva’s dismay. I suspect she was searching for something exciting. As for me, I just wanted to be sure I didn’t kill anyone. In a sense I really felt I was left to pick up the pieces. Oh well again. I shouldn’t complain, I have to start somewhere. Young-Man-F was a school boy and didn’t have money with him so Eva advised me to keep an eye on him or we’d be burdened with HIS medical fees. He had to have a chest and face x-ray to eliminate any other injuries that might have happened. The problem with the system is everytime you wanna do something, you gotta write like a mini letter to the dept, meaning:
Dear Mr in Radiology, 
Here we have a patient who requires blablabla, this-that this-that..
Thank you.
Your colleague,
Weird. I mean the American ER has x-ray machines attached to every bunk. I made sure I was extra-friendly with the radiology people to see if they could squeeze in my patient pronto.

Waiting for an X-ray is the biggest curse in UGD. You seem to have to wait forever!! Ah Oki (Ah Dintyo’s basketball partner, I knew him by face and the fact he plays the saxophone) was waiting for an X-ray too. He’s down from OBGYN (Obstetrics & Gynaecology) with his cervical cancer patient. The one thing I absolutely love ‘bout being an intern is that NOW I have loadsa sh*t to ask / say to people I never knew what to ask / say to. Also I was brushing up on my conversational skills. He’s a real sweetheart; I mean he plays the sax for crying out loud (!!), so the small talk was pretty pleasant. I asked ‘bout his braces (yeay for our common denominator!!) and OBGYN. We exchanged info on our patients and grumbled ‘bout the never-ending wait just to get a couple of films of our patients.

When good cases come in and require immediate resuscitation, you can see interns quickly crowding the bed attempting at trying to score THAT patient and hopefully be able to gain experiences in rare experiences like assisting a thoracotomy etc. I was too busy with Mr Y to patt-kua. At one point Mr Y’s i.v drip got stuck and blood started retrofluxing towards the Lactate Ringer unit. Despite being given clinical skills, somehow everything I ever knew seem to have evaporated and I’d stand there like a moron just racking my brains of what to do. I feel the worst when things like these happen. I’m working to be more productive than that… everyone must have been too busy to notice that I turned into a stone figurine… everyone except probably Ah Pas. Suddenly someone stepped in.. asked me how things are going.. I pointed to the problem.. he took my hand and guided me with the most gentle voice and smile.. and now I roughly know troubleshoots when it comes to clogged i.v. I definitely am going to make Ah Pas my new found friend. Ah Pas is Hanamasa boy. Miss KosKos and I christened him that ever since she fell in love with him years back. I can’t wait to tell Miss KosKos that he is even sweeter in real life and the absolute gentleman. He comes off a little snobbish but ahh well all hot boys are like that somewhat. He was like my mini Superman. There were a couple of times when he swooped in and got me out of difficulty :) I’m all smiles for him.

Mr Hotstuff is H-H-HOT!! Sometimes when he smiles my way, I swear I could get an acute myocardial infarction.

Thursday, January 26, 2006



I'm sitting in an orthopedics lecture and I'm not so sure if I should have just gone ahead and skipped it. As the residents hold some discussions, my eyelids are drooping constantly. It's only my 3rd day as a surgical intern but it already feels like a month. I feel so tired and everything is pretty overwhelming. I cleaned a post-diverticulitis surgery today. It was a 75-year old man and I felt so bad for him as he squirmed in utter pain while I rubbed soap about his open-wound. I think he’s gotten pretty used to me as I him making me finally understand the whole comfortable relationship doctors are taught to have with patients.

I’m in the Urology sub-division. Basically I see ALOT of penises every day. Regular dicks are much smaller than I imagined them to be. Perhaps I watch too much rainbow (aka porn). They aren’t pretty too… they’re slightly funny looking, have a bizarre smell and feel like condoms filled with lubricant jelly. They’re actually very soft sh*t. Sometimes I get afraid that I might tear them off or something. So I’ve seen my first dick in real life. Yeayyy for me!! It wasn’t very romantic so don’t even talk sexual but at least it’s really informative. Don’t really know what the hype is all about and why boys worship their dicks so much. I kinda like shoving those rubber catheters up their cocks. It must hurt like crazy ‘cos they’d groan really loudly and then get all lifeless. I suppose I can imagine, it’s like shoving a tube up mine. Still since it’s theirs not mine… *giggle* makes it kinda funny for me. I do try to be gentle but how gentle can one get? In the end you’re stuffing something up the blimmin’ urethra. I have yet to perform a rectal tussiae. There are so many tasks on my list that are still undone: taking blood, performing an i.v infuse WELL, skin test, SUTURING… just hope by the time Surgery ends, I’d at LEAST be at home with basic medical skills.

Surgeons are HOT.

Monday, January 23, 2006

mirror, mirror, on the wall

It was the night before Surgery rotation that I went over to Miss KhaiKhai’s to say hi and drink her mushroom soup. Miss RemRem was around so we all hung out for abit. Miss RemRem had been meaning to consult my cards ‘bout her relationship so I did some interpretations for her. I, on the other hand, had no idea she was really gifted with tarots. I was never good at understanding tarots. She did me a reading [it was like a talent-exchange night!!] and I was just BLOWN AWAY!! Thing was, she hardly knew me but as she slowly revealed my readings, I swear, it was as if she just peeked into my lifetime. I asked playfully about some boys I know and discovered answers that I knew yet didn’t know: like who’s the jerk, who I was in LOVE with [never thought I was], who I was NOT in LOVE with [and I thought I was], who has been nothing but and always be a deceit, who wants to love me etc…

Queen of Swords (tells about the person that I am and what influences my love life): independent, rational, cool, handle my own stuff, don't really give a damn about the world, boys think I don't need them around, I am bitter about it that when I see couples thus I harshly judge them.

I have 2 cards of 7 (strong lurrve cards wohh).

7 of Pentacles (my obstacles): I am looking for true love, very serious bout it, so far the up-built is of slow growth and I’m all about forward planning, only in long term will efforts show fruition but eventually it will… in order for that to happen, much patient is needed, I feel I put a lot of effort yet I should not feel discouraged and must be persistent.

The moon: I face a lot 2-faced people, rocky road, boys show that they are interested in me but they are not, I must find a sincere path, this is favorable for me because I know what I want, I have to take care, must use intuition ‘cos around me lies a lot of deceptive situations, a true path exists and it seems difficult but I must go on ‘cos as scary as it seems, eventually it will be good. Everywhere is filled with a lot of clandestine, I must be very very careful and use my wits to overcome a lot of these deceiving people around.

7 of wands (what I’m going through now): defiance, in an adversity point… a problem point, have to stand my ground, sometimes I feel like I have 2 stand up for myself, must have resolute, must be confident, must not change own self and must give myself credit, I am timid, self doubtful, undecided and all these negative emotions take place at the worst possible times, I must believe in myself otherwise defeat is certain.

9 of Cups (attitude of other people around me): other people have relationships which are very fulfilling, they have excellent social life, parties, have good friends, have fun and they are in places where people meet, they have good health, happiness and popularity. They have ease of communication with those they have or want, have new ideas that flow easily. It can all be mine but I need to have more faith etc so… now all that I am is at vanity, jealousy, complacency, overly sensitive, careless, tend to neglect people. What that needs to be done is not for me to envy them but me to build all the good things that I crave for myself.

5 of Sword (wat should happen if things don't change): If I keep myself in a bad place and refuse to change I will face defeat failure and loss. Must cut losses and swallow my pride, have 2 backtrack n start again on whatever I believe in, the course I am doing now n accepting change of direction.

19 The Sun: one of the best cards, reflects perfect happiness n nothing 2 hide outcome of love life and future, success glory happiness joy n achievement, I will meet person I love n joyful love affairs, pleasure, vitality, marriage, offspring, nothing negative ‘bout it, perhaps got delay in achieving the sun, possibly face minor setbacks on the way but will achieve it. A sure card.

So maybe I was in denial all these while. I knew all these things she told me (she did mention that tarots don’t tell the future but they can open paths and provide guidelines) but I always chose to ignore them. Mostly because I was comfortable in my misery. The one thing that really hit me hard was the fact she told me I have grown into an EXTREMELY BITTER person. It was the harshest reality I have failed to see all these times. It was the only thing that held me back and will continue to be if I don’t find ways to overcome it as a barrier. I mean I see my friends having so much fun and living their twenties as how it is supposed to be lived and yet the most exciting thing that has happened in my social life in 4 years is me giving Mr Semangka a stupid T-shirt yet if I think about it, I wouldn’t know if he even remembers my name. I’ve been such a miserable person being envious of anyone and everyone… constantly thinking my life is worse than theirs but in reality I’ve made myself the monster that I am. I chose to think those bad things about myself that no boy would ever give me a chance or that I’m such a loser that nothing great would ever come my way. I am, though, TRYING to learn to think differently of myself. It is VERY HARD. I didn’t think it had consumed me so much ‘till I decided I wanted to crawl out. That is when I realized that the hole I’ve dug myself into has grown so deep it will take quite awhile before I can truly recover. I am my worst enemy: her exact words.

*sigh* I always get so confused when I am thrown into such a path. I do not adapt well with changes and yet when I finally do, I do with great ease. So right now I feel like I’m struggling into my purple leather snakeskin halter (YES it is pretty kinky and I got it from Oasis), absolutely fatigued with all the tugging it requires just to get it up my ass. I’m halfway through the huffs and puffs and all my body is telling me to TAKE IT OFF. Like I said I don’t adjust to changes in a *snap* but this time I’ll keep going. Maybe after the 20th attempt, slipping it on would be as easy as my ABCs.

Sunday, January 22, 2006


I thought I could almost escape the back-to-Indon blues but apparently I was mistaken. My chest weighs a ton… the usual-lah. *sigh* When will this ever get old?
When I think of it, shouldn’t have met up with Ah Yung. See, aiii shouldn’t meet up with anyone!! I figured I’d take Ah Marc’s advice and break out of this nutshell of mine and celebrate my existence. Meeting people always results in negative repercussions: must ALWAYS remember this!! When I meet people and have a delightful time it makes it more difficult to leave the country [g*d knows what a wreck I’d be if I had to leave a boyfriend behind when I’m already such a state despite the current ones just being mere acquaintances]. This is probably one of the core reasons I don’t tell people I’m home. Don’t tell people = don’t meet = don’t have fun = don’t get no negative repercussion. ON THE OTHER HAND, when I don’t meet people it means I’d be passing up a chance to SOCIALISE inadvertently delaying the likelihood of me meeting my MR DARCY. It’s a no-win situation. LOSE-LOSE.

Though I can’t deny I had a pleasant time exploring the The Yung Kingdom. Wahhh too bad it was all late and stuff so he couldn’t really allow me to potter about as much as I wanted to. Bet Miss Sophiekins would think she’d died and gone to book-heaven!! It’s like a mini castle and she LOVES castles!! There are SO many things I wanna do and see there… like feed the fish [but he says feeding time happens only in the mornings and they wouldn’t touch food any other time. How LAME. I will aspire to go mornings then], take picture of that yellow silk robe hung out near the hall [heck if got chance, try to de-nail it and PUT IT ON!!], bang on the drums [I really do do a mean blues-tempo], uhhh… check out their cool kitchen utensils [forgot to take picture of that ‘I’m a genius’ mug which is H-H-HOT], bounce on his bed, skip around the new room, squiggle my toes into the fur carpets [spooky but comfy] and more but I can’t recall what else.

Meeting Ah Yung for the first time wasn’t as WEIrd-out as I figured it would be. It still was but the awkwardness was tolerable. In fact I had a delightful time. Reminds me how pleasant having company can be. I’ve actually came home twice and not tell anyone… how I admire my discretion. OK-lah not really, I did tell Ah Choy the first time but that was only ‘cos he was in Pattaya and I KNEW he wasn’t gonna return home anytime soon. Miss PalnaPalna found out though… I suspect it’s ‘cos someone at S*bucks might have reported to her that I dropped by for a raspberry tea frappucino fix. Damn. I really thought I covered the bases well. I’ve gotten real good at doing 180 degrees scanning for familiar faces and finding for absolutely inconspicuous spots where nobody would be able to spot me so much so that it now comes naturally to me… not a very healthy behaviour but oh well.
(conversation)Ah Yung: You’re shorter than I thought.
moi: YOU’re shorter than I thought [Chewah banyak cakap!! You ain’t no freaking beanstalk either OK!]
Anywayyy we hung out for abit in some random mamak yabbering about sheer crap and analysing the whole Mr Semangka circumstance. I had a feeling he might have known the latter. I mean 1979, Taylor’s College… the world is THAT small mah. I KNOW this for a fact ‘cos somehow everyone I know seem to have some funny link to him. Creepy!!

(conversation)moi: So you haven’t told me how come you know Miss JlimJlim.Ah Yung: She’s dating my girlfriend’s scholarship batch mate.
moi: What type of scholarship?Ah Yung: Mara?? WAHHH your girlfriend must be f*ck-ass smart to get a Mara scholarship. [Dddy once told me that it is highly unusual but non-Malays do get Mara scholarships as well if their results are like… um… monumental!!]
Ah Yung: She’s bumi GASP. You’re dating a bumi ah?!! [OMG I totally cringe when I replay this conversation in my head. What’s with the gasp? Not only that, I gasped out ALOUD. I mean like get a grip!! *shake head shake head* I must learn how to react more like a Jane Austen character]Ah Yung: 2nd degree bumi.
moi: [what the heck is a 2nd degree bumi?? I also really should read the papers more often] WAHHH like this you buy house sure damn cheap one. [another verbal Kodak moment. I cannot believe I just said that. Really]
This is the reason why people choose to not talk to me. My verbal diarrhoea. I just let whatever that runs through my poor excuse of a brain to my tongue. I really must choose to let thoughts simmer awhile before opting to articulate them.

(msn)moi says: i bet you'd LOVE ah yung's hse
moi says: his father painted a replica of girl with pearl earring and it really rocks!!

Sophiekins says: fuyoo....
Sophiekins says: His father paints?
Sophiekins says: Funky ass...

moi says: yahhh i really have to bring u on excursion there if ever got chance
Sophiekins says: Yayy!!!!
Sophiekins says: A lot of books and antiques or wat?
moi says: but see if he allow
moi says: YAAAAAAAAAAH it's like a freaking chinaman version of english castle

Sophiekins says: GASP
Sophiekins says: *want to go*

moi says: i knowwww. u cannot imagine how much i had to beg him just to have a quick-see ok Sophiekins says: Hohoh! I'd like a painting of myself in the version of girl with a pearl says: at first when i saw i knew it was a replica but i figured his father might have upah some painter to do it in which case the painter kinda faulted up at the eyes bit
moi says: but ternyata later he told me it was his father who painted IT which is like u said fuyoooo. then like that means keng chow lah
moi says:
Sophiekins says: The Room with a view book is good
Sophiekins says: U shuld take a look it's in my room I think
Sophiekins says: Hah!! I knew Dorian Gray would be on the list!!
Sophiekins says: The Pearl is not bad...
moi says: ya i'm so illiterate. i've read like a handful of them only. i cant even quote anything. and he keeps rubbing it says: so shadduplah u all STUPID book f*cking worms
Sophiekins says: says: remember ddy wanted to make spiral staircase that leads up to like some attic which cud be one of our rooms in the old hse
moi says: HE HAS IT!!
Sophiekins says: Oh dat says: its his room sum more!!Sophiekins says: I rmbr how we went thru the whole phase of renovating the old hse
Sophiekins says: Dat was quite funny...
moi says: LOTSA OF BOOKS lying arounSophiekins says: says: lotsa music instruments also
moi says: lotsa lotsa everything
moi says: actually i think i will meet him for as many rooms available in his hse
moi says: so everytime i meet him i explore one room and take pics of things i like bout the room
moi says: have to see if my kawanship with ah yung can last that long or not
moi says: enough for me to check out his entire house
Sophiekins says: Heehehe
(msn)Ah Yeoh says: do you blog? [WHAT TH?!! This is ambush. I didn’t even see it coming]moi says: do you? [hehe I call it the EasterAhYung maneuver]
Ah Yeoh says: no..not yet...i think i want to though
moi says: use friendsterlahAh Yeoh says: but who will read itmoi says: alot of ppl i kno do it there
Ah Yeoh says: yea
moi says: u got go for english and writing classes like i suggested? [target off-radar. Operation successful]Ah Yeoh says:

just looking

"there's things i want
there's things i think i want
there's things i have
there's things i wanna have..."

Liberty Wedgwood china. You'll never need to wash your plates ever 'cos you'll NEVER use them.
Marc Jacobs double-pocketed wallet. MJ like the only acronyms ever!!

Liberty flower tea cups. You'll never know when the Queen will come over for tea.

"i'm just looking

it keeps me smiling..."


Wednesday, January 18, 2006

it's a small world after all

ah choy says:
what r u doing up so late
ah choy says: where u at?? starbucks??
ah choy says: still openn so late??
moi says: i'm home. starbucks don't open so late [I was telling the truth. I was HOME. He just didn't bother to ask which. And Starbucks wherever don't open that late]
moi says:
google searching my hse
moi says: u shud try:

ah choy says: yeah... dl it oledi...
ah choy says: but can't seem to find my dj house
ah choy says: what u enter in the search??
moi says: didnt enter anything. find-lah thru topographic landmarks
ah choy says: can onli put selangor, malaysia
ah choy says: what landmarks... its not very clear

moi says: at first i got lost somewhere... now i think it is kelana jaya
ah choy says: gimme the location...
ah choy says: how many north, south??

moi says: then i go here go there... found 1utama
ah choy says: issit...
moi says: then from there trace to ikano / the curve
moi says: then my houselah
ah choy says: gimme 1u's location on the map
moi says: i give u my hse location then u backtrace from there-lah ok


I had a very pleasant day today. It was a regular, tranquil, ordinary day and I LOVED it!! It started with me waking up at 6 am and having the liberty to shut my eye lids and continue with lala-land for another 3 hours. This autonomy is an atypical happenstance that it seems almost surreal. When I finally bothered to wake up, it felt like I just rose from a good dose of zzzs (of which I did but sometimes despite the 10 hour sleep, you end up waking feeling like you only managed to scrape 1 and a half). Glee.
Dddy told me to give him 10 mins to confirm his sched when I asked him whether he was in the neighbourhood for lunch. 10 mins turned into 3 hrs!! Despite the lengthy delay, the answer was a ‘no’. Thank goodness I was too preoccupied catching up with new clips on MTV and Channel V to notice. The rock and indie era is back. Most of the tunes on the top charts have a rock edge to it even pop barang-barang like Kelly Clarkson and Ashlee Simpson’s. I’ve noticed an ascending influx in the indie genre in Rock Corner too. It was an R&B-fest prior to this and bubble-gum pop aforementioned to that. No wonder my Shuffle is 89% filled with guitar-based melodies. Bring back Britney and SClub7!! Whatever happened to good ole pop?!!

I decided to do some light retail therapy beginning with L’Occitane. Got myself a bottle of cleansing water ‘cos I couldn’t be bothered to slab on the routine sh*t. Just need something to clean my morning mug-shot in a jiffy since I’m always on snooze, leaving me with less than ample time to get my ass to the hospital. Once Surgery dept begins with the long hours and truckload of work everything else trivial needs to be *snap snap*. Hence the purchase of *snap snap* skincare. Then I stocked up on mellow CDs to teman me on those late-night clinical science paperwork or patients’ medical report :P Now I know why doctors despise paperwork. It’s such a bother(!!). What really sucks about Rock Corner in The Curve is that it has an exclusive Visa / Mastercard policy and my Visa comes with a credit-limit which I absolutely detest. Also Rock Corner, The Curve doesn’t have some of the good sh*t they have in 1Utama’s Rock Corner like DCFC and the like.

My list of CD purchases:
Sugababes: Taller In More Ways [the long-awaited album especially since Mutya got herself knocked up. I am thoroughly disappointed that Mutya has decided to leave Sugababes over ‘personal issues’ (probably her kid). I mean she really oughta take a leaf outta Kerry Katona’s shouldn’t-have-done-it-as-tempted-as-I-was list which was to leave Atomic Kitten (look at them now!!) apart from frolicking-turn-getting-hitched with Mr Potato Bryan McFadden]Sigur Ros: Takk [there has been excessive rave on this Scandinavian(??) band so I decided I’d just see what all the fuss is about. I heard them once on MTV, they remind me of a cross between OAG and Wheatus. Kekeke]
The Beatles: For Sale [I’m attempting to collect all their albums. Their cheap locally produced ones are sold out in Indon but I found some stash in Rock Corner. Will try to kumpul my money and stock up before they run out. I am abit of a Beatles freak]Snow Patrol: Final Straw [this is lame. I already have their CD but this one is dual disc with DVD on the other side. I could not resist. I LURVE Snow Patrol, I’ll just give my old Final Straw to Sophiekins]
Radiohead: OK Computer [finally. After 9 years of dallying. DinoJr’s life anthems are contained in that record. DinoJr is this REALLY REALLY old internet friend who worships Thom Yorke to his toes and would bathe with glee in that weirdo’s shadow if he could. I met DinoJr. It was bizarre and I swore I should never wish to do internet meet-ups again. More about him next time]Thirteen Senses: The Invitation [recommended by record store sales assistant. Trust her judgement. She WAS spot on with The Arcade Fire: Funeral previously after all].

I usually have sashimi when I’m out gallivanting on my own because the parental units don’t eat no sushi and it’s one of life’s luxuries unavailable in Bandung. Sakae Sushi rocks!! Sitting in those lil’ couples cubicles made me realize I looked so Cruise collection with my nautical-esque long-sleeved black-white stripe Ralph Lauren tee (merci pour cadeau, Sophiekins) and skinny River island black jeans and my yellow Vuitton Cabas Globe Shopper. My imaginary Hamptons moment!! KAKAKA.

After lunch as I was headed home, I passed Borders and decided to go sit amidst new books. So there I was slightly sprawled upon the carpet-flooring of the Self-Improvement aisle just soaking in the zen-like ambience before getting shooed out for having an ice-cream cone in my hand. Borders really should get a grip. I’m 24. I CAN hold my ice-cream cone fine. As I turned to the car park I saw the cutest boy reading what I figured must be an automobile magazine in Borders’ mag corner. There he was in a working shirt and jeans (BOYS ARE SO HOT WHEN THEY’RE IN THEIR WORKING COTTON SHIRTS AND HAVE THE SLEEVES ROLLED UP TO THEIR ELBOWS. I COULD DIE!!) and thick-rimmed glasses. He looked like a Tommy Boy. He might as well be ‘cos today I’m looking like Tommy Girl. If it wasn’t for the dripping cone, I’d SO take his picture heck I might even have went crazy and wrap my King Kong arms around his waist!! *giggle* Yes that is how pathetic I am. Had to peel myself off the glass before my drool dripped off my chin onto the see-through wall. *sigh*… when will boys like him come be my boyfriend?

Sunday, January 15, 2006

sam seaborne (the west wing): self-deprecation is the appetizer to charm

I couldn’t agree more. Been catching up on The West Wing episodes with it being the last day at ENT and all [meaning freedom at last!!]. Miss MasMas and Miss IyanIyan are going out clubbing but I didn’t feel up to it [clubbing here = no fun anyways]. I tried to overload on Atomic Kitten: Feels So Good to see whether I’d have a change of heart but I still felt like hanging out exclusively with yours truly. Anywayyy watching The West Wing always leaves my forehead in a stitch. I can’t help it. I have NO idea what’s going on most of the time and it actually gives me a headache if I really wish to decipher what everyone is saying since they all speak AT THE SAME TIME at unmentionable speed. G*DDD I sure wish I had their charisma. Oh oh and guess where Babish is going for his vacation: Sarawak (!!) [he pronounced it Sarah-wack] *guffaws* ANDDD President Bartlet called it Asia’s best kept secrets. Malaysia is Asia’s best kept secrets. Not bad, not bad at all. So since I’m suffering from a minor migraine with all the intellect overdrive I decided to give politics TV some rest and use the plug (for my portable DVD player) to charge my Motorola Bluetooth instead [see ]. That’s the life of a M-m-m-material Girl.

P.S: I moved the My Music folder into my D drive and now I’ve got to RELOAD everything into my Library playlist all over again. This is the one cacat aspect of iTunes.

Saturday, January 14, 2006


KAKAKA Guess what?!! Almost all of us have to repeat the written exam the other day. Miss RusRus, Ah Den and Miss HilHil escaped ‘cos well they are smartie-pants for starters but surprisingly Miss MuMu didn’t and Miss MuMu’s like vice-president of SMART club. It seems if we leave our answers blank it will cost us negative marks than filling in crap. Damn!! They should have told us that or I would’ve filled sheer rubbish in the blanks. Who knows I could’ve escaped the exam repeat. Reminder: KNOW THE EXAM REGULATIONS BEFORE COMMENCING. Still it should have been noted to us.


moi: HE GOT HIMSELF A GIRLFRIEND!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAA MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!!!!!!!!Miss KosKos: For real? Who is that skank? Hot or not? How u know?moi: BARUUUU I CHECK HIS SITE TIBATIBA HE CAKAP HE BUSY WIT PERSONAL LIFE THN I QUIKLY CHECK FRIENDSTR N HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!Miss KosKos: Got pic or not? Don’t worry lah. She probably ugly. Nyways haven’t married yet. Still got chance to sabotage it. I’ll I think if she hot I more chance cos if she’s a hag she sure cengkam him properly 1 n it also means he genuinely likes her which is achtung. Eh Miss YasaYasa got bf (gossip baru). Miss MasMas ask wat u doin at home? We all tgh rokok nongkrong discussg my pathetic life. She says she nk go 2 ur mamat’s concert since it’s her turn for hols
Come to think of it I’m not THAT upset. I was just being a drama queen. Besides, I didn’t do ANYTHING substantial enough to feel defeated. This admiring for afar is really stupid and I don’t know why I bloody bothered. The only person who is probably going to be highly disappointed is Dddy. Mr Semangka was sorta like his golden boy ‘cos he’s so ALL THAT. Dddy never took notice of boys (or rather the lack of it) in my life but he definitely took note of Mr Semangka. Dddy seems to think I have a shot at this and actually encourages me to LOSE WEIGHT so that I can BAG (LHIAM) HIM. KAKAKA I love that old man!! Once in awhile Dddy would pop his name out at the dinner table and ask how Mr Semangka is. I tried explaining to Dddy a trillion times that he is NOT a friend. He is, however, an acquaintance but I doubt he could even remember my name. Then Dddy gets all, “Don’t worry. Take your time.” Like I said, I love that old man!! *sigh* Next thing you know, Mr Semangka gets all married and sh*t. WAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

light up

Tomorrow’s my written exam. Heh, I’m clueless but partially apathic. Guess it does help to have a couple of smokes when you feel like the world’s going to crumble tomorrow. In my case I had the whole pack. That’s why I don’t make it a habit to pick up a cigarette because when I do I tend to finish the entire freaking carton. I’m feeling a little better, a little more alert and a little less hungry *snap snap for nicotine* :) Haven’t puffed in ages so I take this as a welcome break [my face begs to differ: I’ve got eye bags big enough to fit my Dopod]. Hung out with Miss MasMas and Ah Koso. They’re chimney buddies. Miss MasMas calls tobacco her ‘nebu’ (she picked the lingo up in OBGYN) as in nebulizer *giggle*

Haven’t yabbered with Ah Koso in ages. Every time when we do get together I feel like we’re always having the same intense analysis about my weight, his relationships, the underlying principle of my singularity and the diverse human personality. I wonder how we never get bored speaking about the same sh*t again and again and again. I love it that he loves to sit with me and wonder why I’m such a spinster. I hate to admit it but figuring out why I’m SO AVAILABLE is actually my most favourite topic of discussion. He bears with me when I ask him crappy questions like: “Why don’t boys like me?!!” “What is it that boys want?!!” “What’s wrong with me?!!” “What should I do to make them like me?!!” The reply is pretty much the same as always: “Be patient.” “Be yourself” “You’re picky” “Have more faith in yourself” KAKAKA What a joke!!

Ah Koso’s a mini genius. I remember a long while back, I asked him how he rose from a nobody to the third best in our class and he told me ‘cos he wanted to be Ah Tan’s par. Although he could not be the same level as Ah Tan, as he still desired a mad social life, but being a contender sufficed him. Lately he got the highest in Neurology. I requested for tips on how to make it since I’m like a lost boat at sea when it comes to academics. One thing absolutely great about Ah Koso is his will to share his intelligence should he have any. Basically he told me to: study smart as in focus on important cases not nonsensical rare diseases that will rarely make appearances in my practicing life [OK-lah that’s not entirely fresh news to me but I guess it further instils the fact I should be more practical in my studying… quality not quantity]; focus on strengthening my short-term memory plus don’t YAK / DISCUSS with anyone prior to the examination so that my focus remains on whatever memory I have from cramming last night and NOT this morning’s gossip of who broke up with who [he knows my weakness] as well as to learn and play to my strengths [his is mind-mapping, mine is probably cute neat notes with lots of arrows].

Ah Koso thinks I’m wise. KAKAKAKAKAKA. Joke of the century!! I explained to him I owe it to our age differences. I AM 3 years older than he and somehow or rather 3 years of extra time does make a difference in one’s maturity. Also I’ve encountered a river of personalities to be able to roughly judge what sort of a person one is. I’m right about my instinct majority of the time. And Ah Koso and I, we sort of travelled the same road enough for me to be able to interpret his circumstances. He used to despise his father and told the whole world that his dad was this evil-esque man. Everyone took pity on him except me. When it was my turn to hear about the big-bad-man story, I told him he judged his father wrongly and that there are some actions that needed to be looked upon in a different perspective. Maybe ‘cos I travelled a similar path before that I could see familiar landmarks in the parent-child relationship we both have. In that matter I was subtly right, he loves his dad to death now *rolls my eyes* Children!!

It seems Ah Tavian has been passing remarks about me to Ah Koso. I didn’t know they’re good friends. I am no fun woh. KAKAKA. Ah Tavian says I started out as this potential anak bandel (naughty child) playmate but then I turned all serious and studious hence NO FUN woh. KAKAKA. I find it hilarious that people think I’m such a bookworm. I fool them well. I definitely could do with MORE diligence. Ah Tavian is playful but he has a knack of being able to instantly remember / recall information well [actually everyone in medicine sans moi seem to have it] which he probably got off his dad’s (head of Public Health dept) great brain genes. He forgets that there are run of the mill common people (ME) who don’t have the luxury of a photographic memory. He can play and still score. I can’t play if I want to score. In every pursuit, something’s gotta give. I choose to attempt at scoring. Now, being a hermit is second nature to me. Sometimes I, myself, cannot believe I used to go out clubbing almost EVERY NIGHT if not every weekend. 4-inch heels to me were as comfortable as Birkenstocks. I was quite the social butterfly-lho. What can I say? *grin* Never thought this day would arrive but I’m turning into my mother.

Monday, January 09, 2006

just looking

"there's things i want
there's things i think i want
there's things i have
there's things i wanna have"

The Beatles Lonely Hearts Club Band in PINK. This ROCKS!! Somehow I'm forever renewing my membership there despite silent protests.

Hello Kitty digital camera. G*DDD I really like this one.

"i'm just looking

it keeps me smiling..."


P.S., disclaimer: images courtesy of Urban Outfitters

Sunday, January 08, 2006

i do

I: IKEA curtain (chun-leh?!!); II: pictures of the Mrs Bloom girls when we had TIME for each other; III: GAP cranberry & orange scented candle; IV: paperwork (yuck); V: L'Ocittane lavender linen spray; VI: old VCDs to be thrown away just haven't bothered to yet; VII: water; VIII: Evian eau de spray

I’m a dork. Home on Saturday night. Chomping on Prosperity burger. Catching up on paperwork. I don’t really fancy ENT and I just can’t make myself study even though exam’s, like, next week (!!). In fact, I don’t want to. I just want this week to end (pleasantly) so that I can go home come next Sunday.

Miss ChongChong’s latest gossip: Miss OO’s now-fiance proposed to her on the Eiffel Tower. She supposedly has this rock on her finger. Since I ‘nothing’ her, I guess I’m feeling very pitiful for myself instead: the spinster. When I think about it, a person must love me THAT much to want to MARRY me. I don’t know if I’d ever find such a person. I mean, this man would WANT to spend his ENTIRE life with me. Whoah. I can’t even get a guy to have a relationship with moi. I cannot believe I have NEVER had a boyfriend. I’m turning 25 for CHR*SSAKES!! I’m older than Drew Barrymore’s character in ‘Never Been Kissed’. Even Bridget Jones has had a couple of flings. They should really air primetime television on my sad, pathetic life. I’d call it Aboyfriend (as in asexual). Wait… they do have ‘40-Year Old Virgin’ though. OK-lah Hollywood wins still.

Although I don’t really feel that lonely nowadays since work occupies most of my time and thoughts, I can’t help but realize that nobody really bothers about me. Let’s exclude my family but literally nobody really bothers if I’m having a good day or the contrary. It can really suck on holidays and over-commercialized Hallmark days. Take the New Year’s. Every year I used to wish everyone a great New Year. Sometimes I give them flowers or those nonsensical candy sh*t. But nobody ever initiated giving me something special. Only your boy/girlfriend would. Only your boyfriend would sit with you and let you drone on how your day sucked. Only your boyfriend would drop everything to rescue you from waiting hours at the bus-stop. Only your boyfriend would send dumb-ass corny sh*t sms or notes. Only your boyfriend would… aaah the list is endless. I’ve since given up on New Year’s. It’s for f*cking lovers anyway and I really don’t know why I bothered being so cute ‘bout it.

I’ve not been socializing that I’ve forgotten HOW to socialize. Since my life revolves around my work and shopping, I literally have nothing in common with people anymore. I can’t discuss ‘bout current issues ‘cos I’m not in the country AND I don’t read the newspaper. I don’t meet up with people so I have no gossips of common people to share. Nobody I know likes couture much except for my sister (not counted). I hate talking ‘bout Indon which is what everyone seem to only want to interrogate me about. Without me realizing, I have a supposedly mean demeanour that really puts people off. I can’t control myself. It just tumbles out my tongue. LOTS of people has ceased having conversations with me as a result of this which makes me feel even MORE guarded whenever I try to make chat; putting me in so much uneasiness that NOW I don’t even bother to anymore. Which probably explains my deteriorating social circle. Perhaps that’s why I stick to my safety blanket of friends. I needn’t bother to be anything and yet, they love me still. At least I think they do. If they don’t, they could contend for a Golden Globe.

(msn)moi says: i know u think this is all blablabla bullshit. perhaps one day when u suddenly understand then you'll suddenly understand. that time let me know-lah. i won't say 'i told u so' but at least i kno u knoah choy says: im totally lost ere, havent the clue of what u just said
ah choy says: just leave as it is
moi says: ok
moi says: sorry.
ah choy says: dun hav to say sorry
ah choy says: no need appologise for that
moi says: sometimes i say too much without thinking first. then people dowan talk to me. which kinda sucks. happens too many times. dowan take risk.ah choy says: i always valued ur opinion, it keeps me grounded and lets me face the facts[he could be lying but I take that he wasn’t so that I can feel better about myself]

Saturday, January 07, 2006

it ain't over till it's over

Haven’t been producing recent entries. Mostly because I have been doing some grammar housekeeping and adding supplementary thoughts on previous entries. Also it has not been a ball in ENT which makes it tiresome just to yabber about it.

Today I watched resident Dr Budhy do a corpus allineum (foreign object) extraction on this child. Basically this 3-year-old toddler stuck a (flower) biji up her nostril thus she has breathing difficulty. Her parents tried to get it out and when they couldn’t, tried to coax her to sneeze it out instead but she wouldn’t. As Dr Budhy motioned towards her nose with a gigantic scissors looking pincer, the little girl started bawling and flailing her limbs EVERYWHERE. Her father tried to keep her still by wrapping his arms strongly around her but she still managed to wriggle her head about. That was when I was put into good use: firmly holding her head in place [my other group-mates were too compassionate and they didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t really bother]. He probed it up her nose, lodged around (probably trying to secure a grip on that thing) and then suddenly ‘POP’ out came that seed. It was pretty large… wonder how she could have shoved it up her nasal cavity in the first place. So there you go, her first minor operation at the age of 3. This is a good lesson to all parents: don’t let your children play with things they can stuff up their nostrils.
I managed to see a centrally perforated tympanic membrane in an acute otitis media patient today. It’s rare and I was lucky to be standing at the right patient at the right time with the right resident. He was kind enough to point it out to us. I was semi-bewildered.

L-R: Miss FirFir, Miss MuMu. Notice I took a damn great picture of them with the puskesmas (pusat kesihatan masyarakat) sign.

L-R: moi, Miss HilHil. And look at what Miss MuMu took 15 mins to photograph!! G*DDD I can hematemesis sometimes with all these garbage picture-takers. (Man I look like a freaking whale) :P

I finally started to see the wonders of the world of ENT ever since we started going to satellite hospitals. I’ve been having a crappy time before at the general hospital with Dr Jackass giving me a really hard time with me being Malaysian and especially since I’m from the English Program [we, English Program people, aren’t very popular with some old doctors even though it’s our $$ funding all their new building construction and equipment!!]. *sigh* it’s bound to come sooner or later. Just had to put up with his mini-yelling, snide remarks and efforts to make my life a living hell. It could get worse. I could get sent outta class for not being able to answer questions or get scolded at REALLY LOUDLY in front of patients… which happens in OBGYN so… still kinda fortunate in that sense. I only pray for a B. As long as I pass. I don’t want to repeat this dept.

Rumah Sakit Dustira is an army hospital and also a teaching hospital to Universitas Unjani interns (army university). Damn canggih right? I tell you... army gets damn great subsidi from govt one.
A: Iodine, Alcohol 0.5% and the like; B: knobs and switches to turn stuff on; C: nasal speculum; D: opthalmoscope; E: little cup-like hole for hot-air sterilization purposes; F: kidney dish for used barang

Thing is, ENT is basically 85% GP-hood. Meaning, 85% of your patients come to you, a General Practitioner, with ENT complaints: sore throat, flu, earache etc… meaning 85% of your earnings is ‘cos of ENT… meaning 8.5 out of 10 of your Vuitton luggages was all in the name of ENT. So I shouldn’t not like it, instead, pursue it furiously. *shrug* I know zero bout this dept and come Monday the examinations begin. I don’t really know what to say but f*ck.

Miss MuMu says the reason why we’re being given all these department rounds is not only to allow us to indulge in the vast knowledge of medicine but also to expose us to the different fields of medicine which might perk our interest enough to take it up further, later in life. A department is supposedly successful if you find yourself, at the end of the day, thinking “I really don’t mind doing this for the rest of my life”. It takes a lot to make that happen: wise and compassionate Proceptors, helpful and earnest residents, warm and welcoming environment and fuelling cases (for some). I felt a teensy-weensy bit in Eye. Funny (funny-weird not funny-haha) thing is, almost everyone in the group shared the same sentiment. ENT has failed in this aspect. This is probably how a BAD DATE feels like since I’ve never been on one. I just can’t wait ‘till it’s over (!!).

just looking

"there's things i want
there's things i think i want
there's things i have
there's things i wanna have..."

Nissan Pivo

"i'm just looking
it keeps me smiling..."


Wednesday, January 04, 2006

NO THEY D... IDN'T!! / just looking

"there's things i want
there's things i think i want
there's things i have
there's things i wanna have"

Juicy Couture laptop case.

Dopod 818. I CANNOT BELIEVE they came out with a pink one after MERE MONTHS of me getting my Dopod 900!! Oooh how I loathe techonology :I

VAIO F-series in Raspberry Red: sold-out in the U.S.A. The moment it reaches Malaysian shores I'm selling my non-Raspberry Red one pronto!!
"i'm just looking
it keeps me smiling..."


P.S., disclaimer: images courtesy of Net-a-porter, Cnet, Sony Style

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

and i thought amandel was a name of a clothing-label

Today we’re stationed for observation in the recovery ward and OT (operation theatre). Followed this senior, Ah Nova-something [I just learned from Miss MasMas that Indons have this knack of naming their children according to the months they were born in: Octavian, Novirius, Deseria. KAKAKA] to go see a post-Laryngectomy patient. Standing there in front of the groaning old man, I didn’t really know what to do. I looked at Ah Nova-something. He looked as dumbfounded as I. Thank goodness for that. Using my brows, shoulders and pursed lips, I asked him, “So… uh… what now?” [I get really amazed by my ability to speak just by using the anatomy of my face] He then reaches for the guy’s wrist. Kekeke. We were on the same page… Intern 101: When stumped, take a pulse!!
As we headed back to ‘filing’…
Ah Nova-something: So, that’s how it What goes?Ah Nova-something: Post-op Yeah, what about it?Ah Nova-something: …moi: …
moi: What actually were we supposed to do?
[not testing him, just seriously confused]Ah Nova-something: Look at him. Talk to He had a laryngectomy. He can’t talk.Ah Nova-something: Basically just check up on him… (I don’t know).moi: KAKAKAAh Nova-something: At least we looked at him. If we’re asked, we’ll just say he was checked You did take a pulse.Ah Nova-something: Right on, so it’s settled: we ‘checked’ on him.
At about 09:30 everyone started shuffling towards the OT. You see how they are? They practically memorized the surgery sched. They, being my group, never cease to amaze me. I thrive in their passion for medicine. Thank goodness Miss RusRus reminded me a zillion times to bring my scrubs today. I followed the rest of them to the Surgery dept. There we had a choice between observing Tonsillectomy (3rd floor) or Rhinoplasty (2nd floor) procedures. I didn’t know what to do so just meekly hid behind Miss HilHil and watched them decide who goes where. In the end, Miss HilHil and Ah Fit opt for TE and since I didn’t really like Ah Hathir's company, followed the former group instead.

L-R: moi, Miss PetchiPetchi. To think we were once at world war with each other...
L-R: moi, Miss RenRen. To think we were once always at each other's throats.

Guess who I met?!! Miss PetchiPetchi and Miss RenRen!! *clappety-clap* They’re in Anesthesiology. Oh boy did the chatter begin. Somehow I was so excited to see them. I suppose absence does make the heart grow fonder. I learnt that loads of us were taking the January 15 flight home. NO WONDER the ticket was so freaking expensive. Miss PetchiPetchi started whining about her crappy time in Anesthesia but I told her to save it for later at the airport. It was NOT safe to b*tch in the hospital anyway. There are ears everywhere!!

The patient was a 15 year-old boy. At first the resident anaesthetist instructed Ah Fit to do an i.v. Ah Fit declined [we haven’t really done anything remotely i.v-esque so hence the terror]. There wasn’t anyone around yet so she attempted an i.v herself and failed (which goes to show residents fail at i.v too) and had to get a nurse to do it for her instead *snicker* The nurse was very kind, he pointed out stuff to look out for like the intubation process. I HATE it that I’m short. The moment everyone crowds around, I get no view but blobs of surgical caps bobbing about in front of me. Bloody f*ck. As they started to gas the boy, he started shaking somewhat. I asked Miss PetchiPetchi if this was normal and she said she hasn’t seen anyone shake like that usually. Then something caught my eye: a tent forming at his crotch. Maybe it’s me but I swear the boy had a hard-on :D He did-lah I’m sure!! Yet noone seemed to say anything about it so I figured it would be too juvenile of me to point it out. Perhaps he was shaking ‘cos of it. Does surgery turn boys on? I wouldn’t know.

The process was quick. Only 10 – 15 mins. It’s the anaesthesia part that takes awhile. Tonsillectomy is abit like umm… decapitating a chicken head with a metal loop. The resident made Miss HilHil write his report for her and then made me write 2. Bet it’s ‘cos I wasn’t male, hot or wearing a jilbab. *&$^%#$%$^&$#%^# I even missed the second tonsillectomy gara-gara the f*cking report writing.

P.S: Thank goodness I didn’t plump for rhinoplasty… Miss MuMu and Ah Hathir was in the OT for 3 bloody hours!! KAKAKA.

Monday, January 02, 2006

right again

2006. Woke up later than usual. Must be because I polished the entire bottle last night. The electrician came, finally(!!), and fixed my bathroom light. 2006 is all about fixing broken corners of my life perhaps (?). Now it’s all bright and good.

Lumpia basah is basically bean-sprouts + white carrot + egg cooked char-kuey-teow style and wrapped in popiah skin.

Since the nasi lemak stall was closed, I decided to go grab some fast-food at McDonald’s. As I alighted from the Margahayu-Ledeng angkot, I caught a glimpse of a lumpia basah stall and decided to have that instead since it costs lesser.

I really like what they (Koganateppan) did with the sky-light.

Did a little room cleaning. Watched some more Angelina Jolie DVDs. Miss MasMas came over and I layan-ed her ‘cos she looked like she needed a friend. Her G-spot AMild is pretty good. I didn’t even gag at all. Didn’t really like the menthol aftertaste but nonetheless it was nice. Miss MasMas says Amoi / Miss YieYie found new sticks (Esse) as slim as the Vogue sort but with lower tar etc content. I told her to investigate this truth. We shall convert to this healthier product should it exist.

The night ends. It’s the start of a gruelling new year.

Sunday, January 01, 2006


Teman-ed Miss JoeJoe in the evening. She came over from Jatinangor to pass Miss EtEt some textbooks and me my 12-month visa letter. We went out for a late lunch with Miss IyanIyan (since she’s around) at that new Diner in Ciwalk. Caught up with a bit of Jatinangor gossip. Bought myself a bottle of wine.

Actually I had requested for the White Merlot but when I got home, I realized that the dumb chick packed in the wrong wine and I had to settle for the Shiraz Rose instead. Things like this happen to me TOO OFTEN too mention, so I didn’t get pissed off as I usually would and just let it pass. 2006 would be the year for letting things go and taking things with a stride perhaps (?).
So… 15 mins to countdown.
Everyone I know is having some form of a party. The hyped ones are probably out clubbing or at some happenin’ event somewhere. Even the dormant nobodies I know are gathered in a small get-together in Melaka or wherever else mundane to countdown the celebration.
I don’t feel too alone. I also don’t feel too sad. I just feel that it would have been nicer if I could be where my friends are at. I am 24 after all. What’s the point in being 24 if I’m not going to partayyy??
Anyways as the New Year messages trickled [notice I used the word trickle not pour] in, I starred into my portable Ferguson DVD player watching Mr & Mrs Smith. I’m really stale when it comes to movies. It’s actually pretty good. I figured the adaptation might suck ‘cos they usually do but this isn’t too bad. I like the dynamics of The Smiths’ relationship. Poured myself more wine and laughed to more corny movie humour.

“So this is the new year and I don’t feel any different
The clanking of crystal and explosion off in the distance
So this is the new year and I have no resolutions
It’s self-assigned penance for problems with easy solutions
So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let’s make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As 30 dialogues bleed into one
I wish the world was flat like the old days
So I could travel just by folding the map
No more airplanes or speed-trains or freeways
There’d be no distance that could hold us back”

DCBC says it best. Happy New Year to me.

P.S: This is absolutely f*cking hilarious. iDog [everything ’s i-something nowadays… improves market value I suppose]. Basically you plug the thing into your iPod or whatever designated portable music player, it functions as a speaker whacamacalit and it dances to your songs and stuff. KAKAKA. Also, it has an emotion LED screen to show whether it’s happy or crappy. Crap-ass funny.
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