Thursday, December 15, 2005

karma

Waiting for the third crappy thing to happen.

Miss ChuaChua once told me good/bad incidents happen in a cycle. Ratio of bad to good though, unfortunately, is 3:1. Basically what it means is that every time 3 bad shit happens 1 good thing follows… or perhaps looking at the glass half-empty: for every good thing that happens, 3 bad shit happens.

1st bad thing, I got B++ for dentistry mini-CEX (exam-lah) and I can’t stop beating myself up over it. This is why I really have to start learning how to trust myself. I cannot believe it’s my self-doubt pulling me right into the freaking valley. All I could think of was “I CANNOT DIAGNOSE!! I CANNOT DIAGNOSE!!” when my first attempt was actually the RIGHT answer. Then Einstein me decides that it’s probably stupid and it’s impossible I could come up with a conclusion with my semi-impaired frontal lobe. So there I stupidly go add Operculitis into the list. Subsequently my mind actually starts believing that it COULD be Operculitis when it was just a simple Periodontal Abscess… Damn it!! Also I was so busy thinking “I CANNOT DIAGNOSE!! I CANNOT DIAGNOSE!!” that I forgot simple crucial steps like noting vital signs. F*ck. What's more, since I’m such a crap student and my hold on Pharmacology is absolutely rubbish, I prescribed Amoxicillin thinking it was an alternative to Penicillin when it’s from the Penicillin family (and the patient is ALLERGIC to Penicillin). AARGH!! Simple but absolutely fatal mistakes. Dr Grita told me to grade myself. I was SO tempted to circle a low A but… I just couldn’t. I didn’t deserve it. I hate it that I’m so honest with myself sometimes. I circled B++ instead, she then proceeds to grade me as how I graded myself. Well at first t’was only me in the B++ boat (‘cos the whole world excelled) but poor Afits f*cked up the same way I did yesterday and so both of us decide to mope together and whine over our unbelievably dumb moves today. I cannot explain how crappy I feel. I’m just so disappointed in myself.

2nd bad thing: I broke a glass all over my miniscule room (‘cos I was too busy maneuvering 2 large textbooks which in the end proved to be useless for my case report) and had to spend an entire evening LOOKING for broken bits or risk CATCHING broken bits with my feet. Sigh.

3rd bad thing: coming to a theatre near you…

It must be ‘cos of that A for Opthalmology. I knew I should not be overjoyed. This is what happens when I’m happy with myself… bad things happen to remind me I should not be. F*CK F*CK F*CK.

Can’t wait to go home. Great thing is Sophiekins’s gonna be back too. Glee. Bet the parental units will be pleased to have their 2 chimpanzees home together even if it’s just for abit. Sophiekins’s home ‘cos she has to attend Miss WongWong and Ah Lau’s wedding since I cannot go. Sure wish I could. There’d probably be a cauldron full of Ah Lau’s hot single male doctor-colleagues there… Cupid NEVER gives me a chance to socialize with eligible bachelors. W*nker.

Travelling back to Indon on Xmas morning is going to be murder. I really have to get a boyfriend ASAP to cushion those night-before-KLIA trips.

1 comment:

arThen said...

Well, normally, there's always a silver lining.

Bad thing #1.

You were honest! you were true to yourself.

If it was real, you'd lose your medical license, your job and you could have killed someone! So i think a B++ is very good considering how you just killed a ficticious person.

Bad thing #2.

At least your room's minicule and not gigantic. Imagine combing a gigantic room for small pieces of glasses.

Bad thing #3

You were happy? So pessimistic! Beh Tahan!.... This one is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Good thing #1
YAY!!!... see Bad thing #3. Go read Macbeth.

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