Sunday, December 04, 2005

good-b-eye


I got an A for Opthalmology (Mata) department. On normal circumstances, I would be jumping for joy and smacking my knuckles in the air. Truth is, I’m VERY glad and even more thankful yet… subdued. Out of 9 of us in the group, only 2 of us got an A. The rest of them got B++ instead, with the exception of Mahathir’s B+.

The mood was so great after we had learnt that our group had all passed. I was getting a little edgy prior to judicium ‘cos, reflecting on the questions that I could not answer during the exam and the fact I entered Opthalmology with an empty frontal lobe and having to furiously catch up with my group-mates only to still be their runner-up in terms of intellect, there is a big possibility I might fail. How could I hold even a handful of confidence when I studied the least for Conjunctivitis and I drew that case for the oral exam!! I mean with the passing mark being B?? I’ve been a C student all my life so you can imagine the paranoia. Then Dr Susanty decides to post the results up on the wall. The other preceptors weren’t too sure if it was an OK idea but did nothing to stop her. I mean, I was a tad curious of how I truly fared but I think my group mates and the entire Opthalmology batch of interns were dying to see what they got. I knew my name was last (as I had the lowest GPA in my group and the fact my student number was way off than others) so my eye automatically zoomed onto the final stretch of line. Me: A. Whoah. Trickling up the list... OMG. Only Miss RusRus and I got an A. Even Ah Fit, Miss MuMu and Miss HilHil had to settle for B++. I felt quite mortified. They are WAY better than me… they’re like walking Lange’s General Opthalmology textbooks. I cannot understand why they didn’t get an A. I could feel ice-cold wind enveloping the warm happy poncy environment. Immediately there were whisperings and looks of great query among the B++-ers. *sigh* I could foresee the remarks to come. How come I got an A? Is it because my Proceptor favours me? Or is it ‘cos my examiner thinks I’m cute? I don’t deny it that my Proceptor likes me and that my examiner recognizes my FAT face. I mean I do have this bizarre personality that people either magnetically love or south-south pole hate. I’m fortunate that it’s not the latter.

They’ve been teasing me about it for awhile. Like the fact I go “Hello Dr. Yes Dr. Bye Dr.” which is a little tehh I‘m sure. Sometimes if we don’t know the answer to her question, she’d go “Baca dong!! Baca!!” Ah Tavian and Miss WiWi is bewildered how come she never says it to me. Or that she never gives me snide sarcastic remarks. And the fact her face softens up when she sees I have no idea what’s happening. She doesn’t even mind me yapping in English. Since I’m the class pet they make me sit in the HOT-seat. There’s a seating position on our round table which is directly opposite her at a 6 o’clock angle which we noticed to be the center of all questions. Mainly because, the moment her head lifts up, it’s the face she sees inadvertently making that particular face the victim of her Bed-Side Teaching (BST) sessions. And you can’t NOT answer the questions ‘cos it’s part of BST evaluation which accounts to 70% of the total marks. AT one point all of us fight to not park our arses there. Then they started ganging up on me and after awhile I’d automatically dump my shit at the HOT-seat. I didn’t mind to be the buffer. I guess it’s ‘cos I don’t get that hard a time as they do anyway. Better me than them I suppose.

So nevertheless she likes me thus my A. I really don’t care that I got an A that way yet I don’t want my group-mates to hate me ‘cos they have been so kind, generous and absolutely helpful. I know there’s going to be reservations now that after this happenstance. Besides I truly feel they deserve it as much as me. I’m usually quite crude and kiasu, secretly amused that I beat them all. This time, I’m genuinely discontented that this happened to them. Guess I must like them that much.
We’ll see what happens in Dentistry and Ear-Nose-Throat.

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