Friday, October 21, 2005

"the only way out is through"

Last I saw her in Feb'05, she still had an occupation. Funny how given some months apart, our lives can get absolutely transformed. L-R: moi, Miss ChuaChua

Miss ChuaChua's (online gambling) company chaplhap so now she’s rendered jobless. And I almost thought her life seemed humdrum. SO here she is back at the same crossroad she was a couple of years back. If she doesn’t get a job by this month then it’s bye-bye UK and hello again HK!! Either that or the shortest cut would be to marry Ah Yann. He’s French which could make her a EURO citizen. I remember telling her these exact words a couple of years back. Dejavu gila!! SO many people I know have been laid off their companies. Miss NingNing too. Slowly one by one everyone’s painstakingly forced to go home for good. Which really goes to prove NOTHING lasts forever.

I forgot to yabber bout the big buzz that happened yesterday. Mr Semangka talked to me for approximately an hour 20 mins!! LIKE WOW. *clappety-clap* And it wasn’t as surface as the usual surface talk ‘cos some of them were kinda deep stuff. Heehee I know I’m sounding so J Simpson right now but maybe got teeny-weeny bzzztbzzzt connection that fine morning-lho (in my position at least). I mean there I was minding my own damn business at 1 in the a.m when suddenly HE popped and said hi. I mean usually it’s me scouting for HIM like some T-rex at lunch hour. I didn’t even know HE was online. Bizarre things happen when you’re least on guard. I think HE very slightly knows who I am. But nowadays I’m done with thinking of how to polish HIS f*cking ass. Lazy-lah. Also maybe ‘cos I’m only half-interested in HIM than I was the year before. Tired-lah. Can you imagine I’ve been crushing on a person who probably didn’t even know I existed till now for a YEAR? Stephen Jenkins of Third Eye Blind sure said it right when he composed ‘Losing A Whole Year’. Yeah I just realized that it’s a 1 year FANCY anniversary. I’m so lame. Still not much progress than 12 months ago. Maybe NOW HE knows my name and bothers to thank me in person for that super-cool T-shirt I gave HIM. Never mind-lah. At least now that it’s been a year that I’m matured enough to be contented to just perhaps being merely acquaintance. See, I can grow up too!!

Still haven’t told the world I’m home. Part of me wants to but another part of me just don’t want to have to make them feel obliged to hang out with me. Don’t want to repeat the whole clingy epoch. Sometimes I feel I take these things too seriously but that’s just how I am.

It’s funny ‘cos I realize that I never really talk about my chickfriends much. Hmm. I probably would have years back ‘cos I was so involved [now when I think of it I MADE myself involved] in their lives. Nowadays they’re just so bothered 'bout their boyfriends and children (??). I really cannot give a f*ck about the latest fight / breakup / etc so… nothing much to say liao. I don’t tell Miss ChewChew my deepest darkest secrets as much as I did before. I don’t know why. And sometimes I find them so silly that I malas to spend time with them. Take Miss Bobo for example. She comes and tells me she’s missed her period and she thinks she’s pregnant but if she did she’d wanna keep the baby. *shake head shake head* Look at this ignorant young girl who thinks she’s some kinda matured auntie just ‘cos she came out to work in the world first. I might not have a career yet but I know enough to know she’s going for career suicide if she kept her child. First thing first: I asked her if she is thoroughly sure if she’s pregnant, i.e taken a home pregnancy test, went to the gynecologist, consulted an ouija board... whatever. Her answer was "no" and that she’d "do it later". I told her she has to understand that there was a time limit to an abortion ‘cos it expires after the 1st 3 months of pregnancy and she’s already coming into the 2nd month of amenorrhea. Then she proceeds to tell me how READY she is for motherhood blablabla and that everyone except for me is supporting her wishes to keep the child. Right. So very realistic-lah keeping a child when the father is married to another woman and have a family of his own and her current pay is probably below 2K per month?!! The funny thing is she has the cheek to bring a baby into a world of single-parentage when she saw her mother struggle through one. She comes and tells me that her mum didn’t love her enough. HER MOTHER DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO LOVE HER ENOUGH. As long as her mother puts food on the table that’s love itself with the rate she has to juggle finances to house and clothe 3 children. Bloody man. Yet she defends that she’ll give the baby all the love that she never gotten. Miss Bobo Miss Bobo Miss Bobo, won't she understand that since she's in PR therefore she's gotta organize a million events and fun stuff and all these WILL NOT and CANNOT happen if she has a child? She says she wants to care for it. How? Caring for it means going straight home every day so that can jaga her. Means half the pay goes to the maid. Her mum have to suffer the shame of her having a baby out of wed-lock and (horrors!) babysit the kid. I mean if she told me this at the age of 28 – 30 I’d probably leave her alone. It might be her last chance of having a healthy normal kid then but she’s only 24 now and top of her game. It’s a pity. Coming from a broken family she should know better than to allow her child a similar fate. Parents should always want the best for their children. If waiting is for the best then wait. Maybe it’s some relationship fad. ‘Cos loadsa of my chickfriends going out with married men. That’s how Miss Bobo could afford to eat at American Chilli’s almost everyday and still have money to splurge in MNG. All these young girls getting involved with married men. What are they thinking?

P.S: Damn!! I missed the Vivienne Westwood exhibition in the Museum of London. This sucks. I seriously hope their gift shop still stocks the book at the very least.

Real cute site that VW: I could even have a go at making my own tartan. I think I did a great job with the turquoise and brown... so tres chic!!

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