Sunday, October 30, 2005

moi: frangipani is a flower usually planted at graves. i think in malay it's called kemboja. ah yeoh: eh i thought it's a spanish word? moi: :I

Notice ultra cool sleek PSP...

What to eat?? What to eat?? [Ya like he needs to think? Well chicken of course!! Ah Yeoh doesn't consume beef due to religious purposes]

The one thing that puts me off going out with Ah Choy is the fact that I’d crave his company even more. Maybe because he spoils me by letting me get my way, yabbering his ear off and keeping quiet as he absorbs my pain. Last night was OK. Not as much fun as I expected it to be ‘cos I wasn’t too hungry at Coliseum and Frangipani was too dead quiet a place with SPGs sitting on angmoh’s laps. Aiii I thought Ah Yeoh has been to these places. Ternyata all he did was read reviews of them in the newspaper. We really should have gone to some place livelier. Ah Choy had another outing up so I decided to call it a night ‘cos he’s always away too, and hardly gets to hang out with his boyfriends. He thinks it's kinda lame I react this way but I don't want to seem like I'm suffocating him. I'm nothing to him. So who am I to try keep him to myself, right?

Ah Choy goes away next week so last night would probably be the last time I ever get to see him in… worst case scenario, 2 years. *gulp*

moi: Do you think I ask too many questions?Ah Choy: In my position, no.Ah Yeoh: Why you ask like that?moi: Just asking mah. I think I do. Stop me if I do.Ah Yeoh: Someone told you that you ask a lot of questions issit?moi: Ya. Something like that.Ah Yeoh: If the fella find you so irritating, no need to talk to the I trust his judgement.Ah Yeoh: He say you like that also you don’t fight back?moi: Perhaps it’s true. Boys don’t like girls who ask a lot of questions what.Ah Choy: See?Ah Choy: At least won’t get boys like me. Maybe can get boys like Ah [I don’t want boys like Ah Yeoh, no offense to him] *giggle*
moi: He also said I was clingy. So. Trying to not be like that.Ah Choy: *pauses for a moment* Is that why you never sms me??moi: *pauses too* Ya.*silence*
Ah Yeoh: *ignorantly breaks the silence and rattles away* [Ah Yeoh saves the day]

Ah Choy is agitated that Ah Yeoh and I get to watch all the action in front of us. Unfortunately my Vuitton Murakami Ceries has no space for compact mirrors.


Ah Choy's.
Ah Yeoh's. Which he did not finish. Hmmph. I hate it when people don't finish their food.

I’m feeling shitty this morning. Ah Choy keeps badgering me for the shopping excursion. I don’t think I wanna go out with him anymore or I won’t be able to control the need to tell him everything on my mind. Must not. I’ve been such a good girl. It’s so bizarre. The moment he’s in my vicinity I just feel like literally pouring buckets of my sorrow and washing it on him. Sometimes I forget how sad I am and the moment we meet I remember. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

I really shouldn’t be listening to Sarah McLachlan. It’s, like, automatic: I feel heartbreak, I slip Sarah McLachlan into my mini hi-fi. Miss ChewChew told me that till now whenever she hears ‘Angel’, it reminds her of Ah Han and she breaks down. I, too, break down to ‘Angel’. I’ve cried to it since I was in secondary school. I put it on every time I need to blubber from Brighton till now so much so that just hearing a note of it crunches me inside. This Sarah McLachlan-ah, she makes the most heart-rending songs. Damnit, she kills me!!

It’s almost 9 am. Moving from one thing that makes me cry to another: yoga. Miss ChewChew will come soon. I should get ready.

I should apologize to Ah Yung

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