Tuesday, June 07, 2005

ant & dec

OK. I don’t really know how to say this but there MIGHT be and it’s only a MINISCULE might that there could be this kuch-kuch-hota-hai thing going on between Paul J and I. Who the heck is Paul J? I know I’ve never mentioned him anywhere. I mean he’s always been around and of course I never took notice of him, I mean I’ve seen his face around-lah. Then he becomes the Regular Program’s yearbook editor and I was silently enraged at him for, now when I think of it, no reason. Perhaps it was the competitiveness setting in or the fact I felt threatened that their book might turn out to be better than ours or that they were gonna use the word ‘Chronicle’ when I thought I came up with it… yadayadayada BANYAKLAH. I mean I’m sure he doesn’t have a single bad thought about me but I was really irked by him and came to extent of being really really biadap and un-cooperative like not staying around when he wanted to give speeches bout the yearbook and such. Also when he and Miss MayaMaya came over to the house to collect the Orientation badge thing that could help with the layout of the yearbook, I hid mine on purpose so they couldn’t get one. I’m such a b*tch I know. ANYWAY after the holidays I settled down emotionally and just recently when he came to distribute the yearbook to us, he told me personally that he thought my slot in the Pieces of My Life 2001 video clip was the cutest bit. I was really excited. Oh yeah? Actually now that I viewed it, I realized (agreeing with Miss KosKos) that it’s not really much of a big deal so I don’t really know what he got so enthralled about. I did shake his hand to thank him for the yearbook at that time. Might have been the only fool who did that. The product in the end was really quite good if you take into consideration the budget and the time frame they had to work with although the team did comprise from a bloody load of people. Very good effort. I really don’t know why I’m giving all these compliments. So ANYWAYS, everyone’s getting hyped up about the whole kuch-kuch-hota-hai thing going on with Paul (pronounced Pah-Ool as in Raoul with a P) J and yours truly and it’s getting really embarrassing. I can’t even face him now. He must totally have heard about it. I mean like today, they were making like this big fuss about the video clip business in the cafeteria and that he might fancy me-lah blabla and how we’re sheepish with each other-lah blabla. And as I was leaving the place I realized that his bunch of friends or at least batch mates were sitting exactly behind us!! G*DDD they must have heard everything!! F***CK XP I was so mortified and they kept going on and on about it that when we stumbled at the stairs everyone suddenly shuts up which makes it such an uncomfortable scene. He must be like “Hmm… ?” Fortunately I could muster a “Hi,” which must have been really really weird because I NEVER say Hi to him ever. OH MY GOD. Oh yeah, and that time when he came over to the house, he looked at my desktop (Rivers Cuomo Weezer gig wallpaper) and was trying to guess out who it was. I told them it was my boyfriend and I think I sensed there to be a small surprise or something. I mean he wouldn’t be so inquisitive bout who Rivers was ‘cos he kept asking who that was (he thought it was someone off Linkin Park ‘cos he saw the poster on my wall) unless he was partially interested or something right. Uh trivia bout him: he’s 2 years YOUNGER than me. It’s because I f*cked my education up and entered in late. And he’s really quite active in all these extra-curricular shit. And he shares the same birth date as Miss KosKos. He’s not good-looking but not too unfortunate looking either (aiya actually now he’s kinda growing on me and I really don’t know why). He's Paul J and he lives in South Jakarta. That’s all I know. I doubt he fancies me. I must be f*cking perasan again. I mean how can he fancy me? He doesn’t even know me. Plus we’ve never been in contact even though we’re in the same batch. So how can he just suddenly fall for me when I’m nothing, nobody. But anyway it’s a bit of a cute feeling to feel someone fancies you I guess ‘cos that’s what I’m feeling-lah now. Like I wanna smile A LOT. Whoah. I know. Weird-huh. I’m no Miss Wednesday Adams or some Emily the Strange who DON’T EVER SMILE EVER but nowadays that I find it hard to have a reason to smile, with this, it comes naturally. Really really odd. OK-lah cute odd. Sheesh.

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