Monday, May 23, 2005

prognostic factor

I really should be typing out my minor thesis. I really should be. Something is playing on my mind but I can’t quite really put my finger on it. I finished half a packet of Snyder’s Honey Mustard & Onion pretzel pieces, a cup of Milo, a bowl of Maggi Mee Ayam, a piece of bagelan and a glass of Tazo Chai. And I still feel unsettled. That’s a whole load of food. I shouldn’t eat anything tonight. I should just have tea.

How might I have gotten my Tazo Chai you might have asked? I mean, it’s a S*bucks drinks for goodness sakes and here I am in Jatinangor where S*bucks probably sounds like a name of a space ship to the villagers. Well if there’s a drink I drink in S*bucks, it’s Tazo Chai or some other non-coffee beverage because I don’t care much for coffee. It gives me the headaches. Anyway they pulled it off the Malaysian S*bucks shelves ‘cos in contrary to my preferences when it comes to tantalizing brew, Malaysian yuppies and fashion-fuzz are still pretty humdrum in the thirst-quenching business. Either that or they think it’s cool to JUST drink coffee ‘cos the pop culture drinks coffee. So somehow my honcho Miss PalnaPalna managed to score me a box of Tazo Chai concentrate. You could imagine my glee. Even Indonesia hadn’t heard of Tazo Chai. The catch was, the box had an extremely short expiry date (which is probably how it could escape into my hands anyway) so right now I’m glugging down expired Tazo. I do that a lot here: eat expired food. I mean back in Malaysia anything that’s a month to the expiry date would have landed itself in the kitchen garbage bin. Not here though. Over here, I’d pick up that packet of Brahim Kari Ayam and go “Oh only 3 months past expiry, still can makan!!”

It’s Sunday today. I didn’t do anything (assessing my waist-line does not count as A THING) but watch a string of episodes of The West Wing. Those people from the White House are so smart-lah. 78 % of the time I have no idea what those American Democratics are speaking about but it sure sounds intellectual. This bill that bill, this budget that budget. I watch it for the banter mostly (and the occasional glimpse of high Washington fashion). Their humour, so sardonic-lah… I love it!! I don’t think I meet enough personalities with such intellect or even if I did I probably wouldn’t fit in ‘cos it’d take me an extra leg to keep up. I really should read more and update my vocabulary. Presently the only cerebral word I know that just might impress smart people is flatulence.

Mmmy called me to tell me she managed to get hold of an iPod Shuffle arm-band but it’s not from the iPod line (those are sold out), instead it’s some champahlang brand charging a bloody RM120++ for it. I had to surrender, I really need something to hold my Shuffle while I go on my runs. I mean it did come with that neck thing but it’s just a distraction having it jiggle about my chest when I wear tracks that don’t come with pockets.

Miss KosKos is frustrated that I haven’t been making any progress with Prognosis 2001. Backtrack: Prognosis 2001 is this unauthorized yearbook of which I happened to be the editor of. I’m kinda pasrah with it. I don’t know what to do now that it’s going to cost us a minimum 650,000 rp per book. That’s RM300. Who’d pay such a sum? Even the Regular program’s (Regular meaning the Indonesian Class of General Medicine) book costs only 150,000 rp (RM75)… but only because they’re making it in a bulk. I mean their population stems from 300, we’re only a community of 28. But of course the people won’t hear any of it, all they hear is the word 650,000 RP!! F*ck. I really don’t know how to solve this issue. That’s why I’m pasrah. When I’m pasrah I don’t do anything about it. I suppose it just means I’m running away from the problem, but it’s really more of me trying to figure what my next move is going to be. I’m not much of a person who’s good in multi-tasking. I cannot juggle a million shit and have it all work out. Or maybe that’s why I’m not doing anything ‘cos there’s just so much that needs focus and I don’t know which to focus on so I decided to focus on none. Very loser mentality yah? People like me hard to progress-lho.

Miss IyanIyan once told me that I’m a perfectionist. I didn’t think I was. I didn’t have the achievements of a perfectionist. She thinks it’s in the little things that I do. E.g. how I won’t hold a Prognosis 2001 Editorial Board meeting if I didn’t make handouts listing the agenda and topics of discussion in time, the list I make of things-to-do in my organizer almost every day, and the fact that I get irked when schedules I plan don’t go the way it should, etc. It was a bit of a revelation to me because I never thought I had this trait in me. Perhaps everyone has a control freak in them just that it surfaces in different areas of their lives.

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