Friday, May 27, 2005

can i graduate?

So I don’t get to graduate in August now. It feels horrid. It was all I was looking forward to. I mean, yeah I wanted longer holidays, more opportunities to meet boys yada yada yada but deep down my CORE wish was to get my Bachelor’s of Medicine in AUGUST. Between them, I’d choose GRADUATION over those 3 any day!! They’ve changed the f*cking policy so only super-whizzes get to graduate in August and the rest of us mediocrity will get a chance to do so only in November. 3 f*cking months in between (with ongoing examinations)!! Bloody m*ther f*cker. For every second I prolong my stay here, it’s a second prolonged in whole. Co-asst will not end in 2 years at the rate I’m going. And I’ll probably REALLY graduate at some age of 27. Yikes. People have kids at 27 and I haven’t even started working yet (or fallen in love). I don’t know why the management keeps doing this? One minute this one minute that. I’m not strong anymore; I cannot take another blow from them. They do this all the time, crash the bad news at the last minute. Don’t even make me start listing all the crappy news I’ve gotten every f*cking semester *sigh* I told Dddy about it, he didn’t say much. He must be really disappointed and didn’t really know what to say. I wish he’d stay longer on the phone. I just needed to cry to him about it but he’s not the sappy sort. He’s not like Miss RenjitRenjit or Miss MasMas’s father who tell them everything is going to be alright blablabla. He’s the kind that goes “Yah. OK. Bye,” on the phone. I guess I’m a little more placid today. After years of the unspeakable, I’ve begin to desensitize myself in a quicker fashion. There’s nothing that can be done. The management has already made a decision and there’s nothing we can do to change it. We never could, I’m tired of fighting… it’s not like it ever berbuah any hasil anyway.

I weighed myself today. 56.7 kg. Only approximately 1 kg decrease from the last weigh-in last month. THIS IS TOO SLOW. I know I keep saying that I will be fastidious about my food-intake but ayia really I haven’t been. The devil in me is empowering-lah… that’s why I eat so much and I don’t make enough effort to finish my minor thesis. June has to be different. I must crack the 50kg line. That’s like 7 kg down-size. WAHLAU. 50kg would be, like, approximately Karena’s size I think. WAHLAU. That’s kinda thin you know and it’ll definitely be something new. OK-lah not really that thin now when you think of it.

This girl, Miss DewDew, came to get her fortune told today. I can tell mini-love-fortunes. It’s like my lil’ knack I think. Something like how Miss RenjitRenjit can remove someone’s ‘angin’ by massaging. I haven’t done it for people in a LONG LONG while. The last time I did by the massive drove was back in 1st year for a donation drive. I would team up with Miss GilGil and we’d call ourselves the Gypsy Girls… we’d wear bandanas, she’d do mehndi and I’d tell mini-love-fortunes. When I’m stalling, she’d send her customers over and vice versa. Those days :D

Tomorrow’s Miss JoeJoe’s sort-of-b’day-cafe outing. I only partially had a good time at mine so I hope that this time I’d enjoy myself a little more. When we go out, we go out for the long-haul so it’s usually a list of a million places to cover in a day and the entire month’s allowance just disappears there and then. I haven’t gotten my June money in yet so I don’t think it’ll be much of a splurge. I decided to wear that Miss Selfridge uni-shoulder (that I bought since the 1st year but never wore) sequined top and have my hair tied-up. I’m going to have to reevaluate my wardrobe once my weight drops to 50kg, can’t waittt!!

I intend to get S Club 7’s Best Of. I was re-watching my S Club Party LIVE DVD just last night and totally remember them good ole days back in the UK. Anyway S Club tunes are such pick-me-uppers. I love bubble-gum pop so much sometimes, they’re SO SO fun and you can make cheesy movements that go with their lyrics. There ain’t no PARTY like an S Club PARTY!!

P.S: didnt wear the uni-shoulder top after all and instead the MNG crinkle top which, now that I view it, was a disastrous choice

So Amah looking-lah me. Damn!! Upper picture L-R: Miss IyanIyan, Miss JoeJoe, Miss KosKos, Sheltastic moi, Miss MasMas

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