Thursday, December 29, 2005

sigh IX

F*CK. Someone just tried to open my door. F*ckin’ freaked me out!! It’s f*cking bloody midnight and if it was someone I know, the fella would’ve knocked… not open my damn f*cking door!! Thank goodness I always leave my key latched at the keyhole so that even if some f*cker tried to open the door with a key from the outside, he can’t. I contemplated checking to see who it might be but I decided against it. Today curiosity does not kill the cat. *sigh* This is why I just hate living in Indon student accommodation. Actually this is why I hate living in Indon period. *sigh* I thought the horror was over when I left Wisma Dara in the 2nd year but I stand corrected ‘cos it was pretty damn sh*t in Pondok Mulana too. No difference being in town-lah, the fear of thieving and that someone is peering through my window remains. Just worn-out with all the caution I have to take just to bathe or change or walk around my room in my knickers. *sigh* when sh*t like this happens, it just gets me all riled up. I hope the f*cker gets shingles!!

Monday, December 26, 2005


Have a million pending backdated sh*t to upload but in Sophie’s wise words: “couldn’t be damn arsed” to do it yet. Maybe I’ll get it done once I’m back in Boredom Bandung. SO right now I’m half typing and half packing – the latter is my absolute least favourite thing to do. As usual I’m my miserable schmuck self though perhaps a tad lighter this trip ‘cos kinda excited with Sophie home, bringing with her my Anya Hindmarch Be-A-Bag (need to get a proper time to get it’s picture posted) and the fact Dddy bought me this absolutely great Vuitton Globe Shopper making me even more indebted to him to pass my exams than ever!! It’s such a beauty. Should get a picture posted up too.

Should start on the wheeling hand-carry. UGH I absolutely detest packing.

I NEED to watch this Grey’s Anatomy the world is raving about. And I haven’t even watched an episode of House. CRAP *SS!!

Hate packing hate packing hate packing.
Bloody Mamee [I think it’s absolutely hilarious Miss RusRus calls it Mamee Monster] and Twisties packs taking up my entire bag. Thank goodness I decided to forego the Secret Recipe Tom Yam pastry as ‘souvenirs’ for my group members. Goodness knows how I was gonna have to lug it there.

T’was a fairly reasonable X’mas eve. It started out with Sophiekins and I snuggling up into the parent’s bed, having the entire family cramped up in a queen-size for half-an-hour [I told Mmmy they should have gotten a King!!] where we yakked and yakked ‘bout random stuff all morning till Dddy couldn’t tahan with all the noise and made us go get ready for breakfast. We had bak kut teh in SS3 (Chow Sang’s brother Yiew Sang (??)) ‘cos Sophiekins’s a bak kut teh freak!! Then we went over to 1Utama to get some grocery shopping done. I stocked up on soup paste and green tea. Later in the afternoon I ajak Mmmy and Sophiekins to go jalan-jalan at The Curve: I’m a Curve-aholic. Showed Sophiekins one of my absolute favourite haunts: Tango Mango :) Sophiekins decided to go get a hair trim at Peek-A-Boo since Ah Gibson could slot her in and I went over to Rock Corner to see if Jay Chou’s November’s Chopin 11 album has been restocked: not yet. I have developed a deep penchant for Jay Chou recently. I had been searching for this song he sang during an MTV concert in aid of the Thai tsunami victims. He played it on the piano and it must have been something real good ‘cos even the Thai girls could mouth the lyrics. Because of my limited Chinese vocabulary and the fact I could not hum the tune of the song since I only heard it once, I resorted to Ah Shaun (this happened prior, while he was still around). My description was: the song was popular around the aid-tsunami period which is probably around Jan/Feb '05, he plays it on the piano and girls love it. KAKAKA. Ah Shaun thought I was some kind of a madhatter. Nevertheless he called a couple of friends up and it was supposedly this album. His friend thought I had meant Track 1 (which is SUPERB) but in the end I realized it was actually Track 3 that I was looking for. Yeay!! Anyway I found a copy in Borders. Yeay again!! While waiting for Sophiekins, Mmmy and I had carrot-orange juice at Kim Gary. Kim Gary makes the best carrot-orange juice. I have yet to find another spot that can top Kim Gary. I have converted Mmmy and now she can’t get enough!! Mmmy believes it’s the composition ratio between orange and carrot that Kim Gary has finely perfected. Whatever-lah, pokoknya it’s YUM!!

Bought Sophiekins a box-set of the Phillip Pullman trilogy for XmaS. Given that Ah Yung has asked me to read it twice on separate occasions must make it a very worthy read… *snicker* this way, I get to kill two birds with one stone. Get Sophiekins a good gift AND get a chance to read it later. God knows when I’ll ever get the time to read stuff other than the med crap that piles on everY second. Sometimes it takes me literally a month to read up my monthly Vogue and Glamour. And those are just magazines!! There goes my intellect-lah.
AT night, Dddy brings us to this Japanese restaurant Momotalo in Hartamas [Sophie threw a fit since we went to one previously mere days after she left for Liverpool even though Dddy had promised to bring her to one before]. It’s a Japanese BBQ and I was a little peeved that he brought us to a BBQ-sort of restaurant ‘cos I don’t really fancy those sort of foodstuff: Korean BBQ, Mongolian BBQ… but it turned out to be alright really. Wish he’d brought us to a regular Jap place but nonetheless we had big fun in Momotalo.

As we all know, I tend to behave badly or cry endlessly prior before returning. Therefore I decided to go straight to bed after Momotalo before I spat even more rage towards the parental units. It sucks even more that the visa thing is unsettled and the fact that since this is so, my intention of going to see Ah Choy in Pattaya later next month is ruined. Was kinda looking forward to a break in a beach. Too bad for me. Life can so suck sometimes.

Friday, December 23, 2005

family stuff

My room is a warzone filled with prior holiday purchases and TOO MUCH clothes. Dddy has issued restraining order against my shopping ‘cos he found some clothes with price tags still attached to the label strewn (it really wasn’t strewn, it was more of clumsily placed) around my umm… floor. I did mean to clear them up, just that every time I attempt to do so something comes up and it gets put on hold. Hence the typhoon-like aftermath.

Dread going to the Indon embassy tomorrow. Guess I’ll do the 1-year visa the next trip I’m back… what a waste of RMs having to do a 2-month visa right now. I don’t understand how come we’ve got to make an entirely new Kittas even though we renew the current one every year!! On top of that, in order to renew a renewed Kittas, I’ve got to go through the whole 1-year visa shit all over again. To make matters worse, since Ah Kartik couldn’t get the papers from Jakarta faxed over in time, I had to do a 2-month visa in the meantime and later a 1-year visa the next time I’m back. Subsequently make a new Kittas and renew it the next year!! It’s a nonsensical system which makes absolutely bollocks sense. I had seriously a crappy time at the embassy on Monday. It was just supposed to be this simple procedure where I waltz into the Visa department, hold out my passport, fill in a couple of forms perhaps and pay the fee. Voila! NOT. Instead, we accidentally waltzed into the wrong side of the embassy (the local citizen arena which explains the rivers of TKI = Tenaga Kerja Indonesia hanging out there). When we finally got to the right side of the embassy, that irritating lady at the Visa counter decides to go on an excessive power trip and insisted I can’t do my visa ‘cos I don’t have a letter of invitation from my university. OF COURSE I HAVEN’T GOT AN INVITATION LETTER!! I’VE BEEN STUDYING THERE 5 YEARS OF MY LIFE!! She could have glanced at all the pages filled with ERP / MERP (Exit Reentry Permit / Multimple Entry Reexit Permit… yes we have to apply and PAY just to get out of the country :P). It doesn’t take a genius to know that nobody really wants to con their way in. Oh well. So she sends me off to Bahagian Pendidikan where this Pak tells me to produce a student card. Since Ah Kartik told me I needn’t bring anything besides my passport and myself for the visa, I had to go home to PJ to get my damn student card. Sigh. I return after lunch and that same Pak wasn’t there. Another Ibu decided to exercise some ‘authority’ and instructed me to go photocopy this and photocopy that which I really knew wasn’t that entirely necessary. There I go jumping into the lift yet again :P After arriving at the ground floor, I decided to show the Ibu my imaginary middle finger and clicked: 3rd floor again. So right back up I go. Not giving a damn hoot about that lady, I parked my butt on the chair and decided to wait the Pak out. Although he never came back from lunch, his colleague was there and sorted things out pronto. I had to put on my charm though, but it was worth it. Had to enrapture the visa counter lady (different one) too. Should be able to pick it up this evening. Pray no problem then.

The Lee cousins just went home today. Phew. So this is probably an infinitesimal idea of how it would’ve been like to have 3 younger brothers. Sounds of Hot Wheels zipping in the platform and crashing onto the floor, have someone scream Batman(!!) in your ear ever so often, have your Astro channel permanently on Cartoon Network, getting invited into a discussion of who has the best power on Sky High, the call of Cher-cher every minute of the day to ask you Why-questions: i.e. “Cher, why-ah the dinosaur fight with King Kong?” And being demanded, with a trillion “Please Cher-cher”s, to fixing their set of Hot Wheels Acceleracers Swamp Beast. In the end, when I thought I was done, I was left absolutely befuddled with an extra red plastic piece. It didn’t have an alphabet and didn’t seem to belong anywhere in the instructions so I just stuck it under the Swamp Beast (!!). I quite like it when the cars fly over the gap between the lanes… the whole dynamics of them staying in route despite the sharp turns… kinda cool really!! It was their first Hot Wheels play-set so I can imagine their excitement. One of the cars they bought was a Shelby :D [kindly note: Gone in 60 Seconds]. It’s kinda ugly actually but Ah Shaun says it has a lot of CCs. OK then.

The visa collection went smoothly. No problem there. Must be the lucky charm of my uggs. I really don’t know why my friends loathe it that much. I’m restricted from wearing it when I’m out of them.

My infamous uggs. I like to think they're highly under-appreciated.

Dddy gave a us a choice between KLCC or Starhill to kill some time before Sophiekins arrives at 16:30. the vote was uninanimous: Starhill!! WAHHH I really like what Starhill has sorta done to revamp their image. Can’t wait when the boutiques move out front. Vuitton Globe Shopper Cabas is here!! Oh they’re just so so HOTTT!! May I one day earn enough money to actually be able to do a day’s shopping in this place :) Syadu Syadu Syadu. I cannot believe the parents bought me the Globe Shopper. I didn’t even beg for it. Maybe I should have just said no. But how can I say no to a Vuitton? I mean they offered to buy me one. Cost a damn bomb. I feel a little bad but definitely not bad enough. I know why they’re doing this. It’s to silence all my hype of wanting to apply for a course in textile manufacturing [there is such a course ‘cos I just found out this girl I used to study with in Sedaya College is currently taking this subject up in New York] after I get my M.D. The only person I’ve actually told this to is Ah Lau. He understands the most. Everyone just thinks I’m a moron including Miss WongWong (bless her!!). I really should write about that day the both of ‘em decided to set me up with Sir Ginger-Y and went to the extent of child-locking me in the car so that I wouldn’t escape. I’m so pleased they’re getting married on the 26th. I love them both very much.

This couch is h-h-hottt!!

This couch colour is h-h-hotter!!

OMG. I cannot believe Mmmy got THAT excited and got the dates all wrong. Sophiekins’s due to arrive TOMORROW not today. And there I was standing at the stupid terminal staring into the arrival screens and no flights from Manchester, just London. After the run-around enquiries, yah it’s tomorrow *rolling my eyes*. Although there was this small crowd gathering at the arrival exit as I was waiting for Sophiekins. Seems like a Chinese celebrity and when he got close I believe he looked abit like Richie Ren. Must be Richie Ren. I would have thrown myself at him if he was Jay Chou. But he’s not so I just took a measly picture with my Dopod.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

just looking

"there's things i want
there's things i think i want
there's things i have
there's things i wanna have"

"i'm just looking
it keeps me smiling..."


P.S: I really should learn to work on my colour contrast and font play.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

just looking

"there's things i want
there's things i think i want
there's things i have
there's things i wanna have"

Barbie Magic Pegasus (by Mattel). It's furry with lilac mane (mane?), who could resist??
"i'm just looking
it keeps me smiling..."
Not really-lah. But I wouldn't mind it.

chicken kueyteow in Jalan Imbi!!

Had the shittiest time in the Indonesian embassy today.

The reason why Dddy is the best father in the world.

Monday, December 19, 2005

neighbours and family = food

Was a little surprised that Mmmy hadn’t tag along to come fetch me at the airport ‘cos she usually gets excited when any of her brats came home. Turns out, Dr Chew and his wife Jacqueline (neighbour and now family dentist) had invited the family to a party at Tasty Tasty, Damansara Utama to celebrate the birth of their newborn son. I was looking forward to a quiet unpacking session at home and maybe go see what’s up with MNG but instead I’ve got to put on my happy face for this public event. I’ve always loved parties but ever since Dddy decided I was better off away from the public view (‘cos of the hush-hush incident), I have since developed an inferiority complex and have not been able to shrug off even though I tried. Mmmy had saved us both a place and I was slightly abashed that Dr C went and declared loudly that the “medical student is here”. Ahh crap. People have high expectations of medical students and even though I enjoy the attention, I can’t help but cringe at all these people thinking I’m some genius whatsoever. The old couple seated beside us helped Mmmy save some food for Dddy and I. Such a sweet couple they are but my oh my did they have a million questions about Indon. Yes, it’s dangerous there. No, I’m not in my housemanship years yet. Yes, I have to converse in Bahasa Indonesia and I even have to start learning up on my Sundanese dialect. No, it’s NOT cheap to study there [especially with my sort of lifestyle *giggle*]. Yes, the environment is pretty crappy. Yes No No Yes… couldn’t even bloody eat in peace. Weird that our family is the only one from our neighbourhood present. Dr Chew must be really exclusive when it comes to picking acquaintances and associates. Guess he left Syl-ly and that insurance lady’s families outta the list… sure goes to show how highly he feels about them. KAKAKA.

They named the baby ASHTON!! I gave him that name (they wanted an ‘A’ name and their daughter was already Ashley)!! Yeayyy for me :D Well it wasn’t that difficult and I knew they would have picked my name after all ‘cos I’m such a great name-picker (after Dddy that is; he named my entire generation: Sbaby Sophiekins Stefano Stefani Stefan Shaun [Mmmy was so sad to see her ‘boy’ name go] Shapiro Scalfero). Besides look at Ashton Kutcher, he had a Masters in Biochemical Engineering whatnot before emerging as one of the most famous actor / prankster of all time!! He’s SO HOT too. It’s all in the name babydoll!! So it’s pretty obvious how come we’re such VIPs *giggle again* I love feeling like a celeb. That and being so fashionably late. Am I just the most perfect DIVA no? Mmmy was astonished at how dressed up I was ‘cos usually I’d just be all dowdy and haggard: who the f*ck cares since it’s not my lover picking me up from the terminal?! I even had my 2 pigtails dressed up in orchids. I KNOW?!! I can’t believe I bothered to dandan in the morning. Anyway she was all relieved that I did or she would’ve made Dddy turn around and have me change into something more decent.

Wahhh there’s this red bean egg dumpling that almost killed me!! Damn the sedap OK!! Jacqueline says she came to Tasty Tasty almost everyday when she was pregnant with Ashton. I know I bloody would too. Too bad everyone felt the same or I would have sapu every of that yellow buns clean.
The Lee family was over at our house. Crap. There goes more of my ME time. They’re here to shop for some new stuff at IKEA with their new home in Kota Bharu, Kelantan (yes I’m anak Kelate, F*CK you) almost done with. Can’t believe how much the cousins have grown. Poor Ah Shaun, he only got 3As 1B and 1C in his UPSR. I know how much it must suck to be him. What’s worse I feel like he has NO PERSONALITY. Perhaps he’s suffering from what Sophiekins and I would call The BooTuKwan Syndrome. I am trying to help him inculcate a personal interest in music. Everyone needs to like something at least a little passionately in life or else… they’re just doomed to freakin’ boredom. I know I fiercely believe so ‘cos I am a passionate person and even though sometimes I don’t understand how someone could be passionate about say… iguanas or carpets but just listening to them rave about what they love gets me all tingly and excited. I love being around passionate people and it’s something I adore about Mr Semangka. And noone in the S-generation is going to be some NO-PERSONALITY weirdo. Weirdo OK but weirdo WITH PERSONALITY and nothing lesser. Sophiekins has absolutely profound passion. Listen to her chatter on about her angmoh friends and English castles or Burberry’s fall line as well as her Parisian Shakespeare & Co endeavors and you’ll be left but nothing but absolute ardor. Both of us have agreed that we have Dddy to thank for. He has never suppressed our hobbies, in fact he encourages us to have interests [as long as in doesn’t come in the way of his education plans *wink*]. Definitely a better way of being brought up than any of our relatives. I know Ah Shaun is quite fond of me ‘cos I invite him into conversations and try to get him stirred up. Looking at how he is, he probably doesn’t have many friends with his tuition schedule round the clock… and his English OMG his English is abysmal!! You’d think with Uncle Lee being an ex-English teacher and all, he would have at least ensured his children be able to converse in English. All his children had trouble communicating with me. Ah Shapiro seems to just rattle intelligibly and as for little Ah Scalfero I did not understand his need to run to his mother or whisper to Ah Shapiro in Mandarin in order for them to translate it all to crap English for me when he could just try telling it to me himself. Thus I made a rule that whoever wants to tell me something they had to do it so in English however rubbish the grammar or long it took or I wouldn’t reply. No going through middle person!! Ah Scalfero is actually quite matured beyond his age maybe because of his exposure due to his duo elder siblings. I was rendered speechless when he yelled out, in English of course, “Give him a chance!!” when Dddy didn’t allow Ah Shapiro to handle something I can’t remember. They love it when I ask them cartoon trivia although you should have seen their faces when I asked them about Thunder Cats. MAN I can’t be THAT old that Thunder Cats is actually RETRO!! They don’t know what Thunder Cats are. Or Ultraman. What th..?!! Damn Cartoon Network.

The Kho - Lee family excursion to Petaling Street:

Thursday, December 15, 2005


Waiting for the third crappy thing to happen.

Miss ChuaChua once told me good/bad incidents happen in a cycle. Ratio of bad to good though, unfortunately, is 3:1. Basically what it means is that every time 3 bad shit happens 1 good thing follows… or perhaps looking at the glass half-empty: for every good thing that happens, 3 bad shit happens.

1st bad thing, I got B++ for dentistry mini-CEX (exam-lah) and I can’t stop beating myself up over it. This is why I really have to start learning how to trust myself. I cannot believe it’s my self-doubt pulling me right into the freaking valley. All I could think of was “I CANNOT DIAGNOSE!! I CANNOT DIAGNOSE!!” when my first attempt was actually the RIGHT answer. Then Einstein me decides that it’s probably stupid and it’s impossible I could come up with a conclusion with my semi-impaired frontal lobe. So there I stupidly go add Operculitis into the list. Subsequently my mind actually starts believing that it COULD be Operculitis when it was just a simple Periodontal Abscess… Damn it!! Also I was so busy thinking “I CANNOT DIAGNOSE!! I CANNOT DIAGNOSE!!” that I forgot simple crucial steps like noting vital signs. F*ck. What's more, since I’m such a crap student and my hold on Pharmacology is absolutely rubbish, I prescribed Amoxicillin thinking it was an alternative to Penicillin when it’s from the Penicillin family (and the patient is ALLERGIC to Penicillin). AARGH!! Simple but absolutely fatal mistakes. Dr Grita told me to grade myself. I was SO tempted to circle a low A but… I just couldn’t. I didn’t deserve it. I hate it that I’m so honest with myself sometimes. I circled B++ instead, she then proceeds to grade me as how I graded myself. Well at first t’was only me in the B++ boat (‘cos the whole world excelled) but poor Afits f*cked up the same way I did yesterday and so both of us decide to mope together and whine over our unbelievably dumb moves today. I cannot explain how crappy I feel. I’m just so disappointed in myself.

2nd bad thing: I broke a glass all over my miniscule room (‘cos I was too busy maneuvering 2 large textbooks which in the end proved to be useless for my case report) and had to spend an entire evening LOOKING for broken bits or risk CATCHING broken bits with my feet. Sigh.

3rd bad thing: coming to a theatre near you…

It must be ‘cos of that A for Opthalmology. I knew I should not be overjoyed. This is what happens when I’m happy with myself… bad things happen to remind me I should not be. F*CK F*CK F*CK.

Can’t wait to go home. Great thing is Sophiekins’s gonna be back too. Glee. Bet the parental units will be pleased to have their 2 chimpanzees home together even if it’s just for abit. Sophiekins’s home ‘cos she has to attend Miss WongWong and Ah Lau’s wedding since I cannot go. Sure wish I could. There’d probably be a cauldron full of Ah Lau’s hot single male doctor-colleagues there… Cupid NEVER gives me a chance to socialize with eligible bachelors. W*nker.

Travelling back to Indon on Xmas morning is going to be murder. I really have to get a boyfriend ASAP to cushion those night-before-KLIA trips.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


Last day in Dentistry department. Group bids farewell to Exodonsia...

Kesian me and my B++. Had no choice but to eat alot.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

GiMul = Gigi & Mulut

L-R: Miss MuMu, moi, Miss WiWi, Miss RusRus, Ah Fits

And this is how you do it do it...

Friday, December 09, 2005

i want to watch harry potter!!

I got my period today, which explains my urge to oversleep these couple of days. I mean, last night I slept, like, 10 freakin’ hours!! M*ther of ass!! I’m absolutely falling back on my Dentistry studies. Damn it. Tonight I’m gonna have to start working back into my previous ‘new’ routine. I’ve been such a good girl for 3 weeks, would be such a waste to turn back into my old lazy self. Can you imagine that apart from time in the hospital, I actually CAN study for 9 hours straight?? I am absolutely in awe of myself. And I sleep probably 3 hours a day. It’s not doing anything good to my eye bags but hopefully it’ll do SOMETHING to my grades. I really am determining on passing every department. Hung out with Miss MasMas abit yesterday. Exchanged horror department stories. Hers of course much more chee-khek than mine since she’s in Obstetrics & Gynecology. She’s experienced spontaneous deliveries, assisted in a C-section operation, observed a resuscitation of a distressed baby etc…

I can’t believe the Bridget Jones moment I had the other day at Starbucks. I was just minding my own bloody damn business, waiting in line to get my raspberry frappucino (I don’t drink coffee) so that I can get on with my weekly internet chores when the girl at the counter goes, “I see you always come alone.” WHAT THE F*CK?! I suppose she was just trying to make conversation and her crappy English probably translated some friendly Indon statement into an absolute saddo remark but there and then… I reflected and realized that with everyone being so caught up in their own schedule, I am pretty much by myself ALOT. Don’t know if it’s pathetic or liberating but I’m so used to being *gasp* alone that when annotations like this comes my way it’s so easy to shrug it off. I don’t even have time to think about boys. Me. No time to think bout boys. What th..?!! I KNOW!!

Speaking of boys, I forgot to report a conversation I had with Mr Semangka which got Miss MasMas absolutely excited. Somehow, I’m not that keen. I don’t know. I mean I would have been last year (wah… my crush has lasted over a year) but now I’m just deaden.

mr semangka says
: hehe there were worse things than that over there
mr semangka says: i had an exeprience but i think i better not tell now
mr semangka says: come bck to malaysia then can cerita la [whoah, did he just suggest he wanted to meet me?]
mr semangka says: hehe

Actually I was home when that conversation took place. I just didn’t have the guts to suggest a meet up. Yeah, blame it on my lack of self-confidence. I always think that if I could just have 2 more months to drop 10 kg (sheesh, like that would ever happen?!) something magical could happen. As we all know it, I never can drop 10 kg in any form of time hence my loveless life. Everyone thinks I’m throwing opportunities flying my way but if I meet him now, I’d just be another FAT fan who wants to know the world about him. He would never remember me. I’d be just a fleeting personality to him. That’s even sadder than never meeting him.

I can’t believe that I have not watched Harry Potter: Goblet of Fire. I can’t believe I have no time to slip it into my schedule. I can’t believe I’d rather study THAN watch Harry Potter.

I took this supposed Tibetian Dalai Lama test which happens to be those random tests I once took back in those teenage IRC days and found that much has changed about myself.

The chronology of what I deem important in my life now:
Career, Money, Love, Pride, Family. [I cannot believe I actually think my career is so important. I suppose it affects me more than I know it. I always thought all that dance on my mind are BOYS and SHOPPING. I must be growing up]

1 word to describe what I think of:
My personality: Loved
My partner’s personality: Bizarre
My enemy: Scary
Sex: Overrated
My own life: Restless

Someone I:
Will never forget: SunshineP
Consider a true friend: Ah Choy
Really love: Myself
Feel is my twin soul: [I left it blank ‘cos I couldn’t place a person in the white category]
Will remember the rest of my life: Mr Semangka [funny]

Sunday, December 04, 2005


I got an A for Opthalmology (Mata) department. On normal circumstances, I would be jumping for joy and smacking my knuckles in the air. Truth is, I’m VERY glad and even more thankful yet… subdued. Out of 9 of us in the group, only 2 of us got an A. The rest of them got B++ instead, with the exception of Mahathir’s B+.

The mood was so great after we had learnt that our group had all passed. I was getting a little edgy prior to judicium ‘cos, reflecting on the questions that I could not answer during the exam and the fact I entered Opthalmology with an empty frontal lobe and having to furiously catch up with my group-mates only to still be their runner-up in terms of intellect, there is a big possibility I might fail. How could I hold even a handful of confidence when I studied the least for Conjunctivitis and I drew that case for the oral exam!! I mean with the passing mark being B?? I’ve been a C student all my life so you can imagine the paranoia. Then Dr Susanty decides to post the results up on the wall. The other preceptors weren’t too sure if it was an OK idea but did nothing to stop her. I mean, I was a tad curious of how I truly fared but I think my group mates and the entire Opthalmology batch of interns were dying to see what they got. I knew my name was last (as I had the lowest GPA in my group and the fact my student number was way off than others) so my eye automatically zoomed onto the final stretch of line. Me: A. Whoah. Trickling up the list... OMG. Only Miss RusRus and I got an A. Even Ah Fit, Miss MuMu and Miss HilHil had to settle for B++. I felt quite mortified. They are WAY better than me… they’re like walking Lange’s General Opthalmology textbooks. I cannot understand why they didn’t get an A. I could feel ice-cold wind enveloping the warm happy poncy environment. Immediately there were whisperings and looks of great query among the B++-ers. *sigh* I could foresee the remarks to come. How come I got an A? Is it because my Proceptor favours me? Or is it ‘cos my examiner thinks I’m cute? I don’t deny it that my Proceptor likes me and that my examiner recognizes my FAT face. I mean I do have this bizarre personality that people either magnetically love or south-south pole hate. I’m fortunate that it’s not the latter.

They’ve been teasing me about it for awhile. Like the fact I go “Hello Dr. Yes Dr. Bye Dr.” which is a little tehh I‘m sure. Sometimes if we don’t know the answer to her question, she’d go “Baca dong!! Baca!!” Ah Tavian and Miss WiWi is bewildered how come she never says it to me. Or that she never gives me snide sarcastic remarks. And the fact her face softens up when she sees I have no idea what’s happening. She doesn’t even mind me yapping in English. Since I’m the class pet they make me sit in the HOT-seat. There’s a seating position on our round table which is directly opposite her at a 6 o’clock angle which we noticed to be the center of all questions. Mainly because, the moment her head lifts up, it’s the face she sees inadvertently making that particular face the victim of her Bed-Side Teaching (BST) sessions. And you can’t NOT answer the questions ‘cos it’s part of BST evaluation which accounts to 70% of the total marks. AT one point all of us fight to not park our arses there. Then they started ganging up on me and after awhile I’d automatically dump my shit at the HOT-seat. I didn’t mind to be the buffer. I guess it’s ‘cos I don’t get that hard a time as they do anyway. Better me than them I suppose.

So nevertheless she likes me thus my A. I really don’t care that I got an A that way yet I don’t want my group-mates to hate me ‘cos they have been so kind, generous and absolutely helpful. I know there’s going to be reservations now that after this happenstance. Besides I truly feel they deserve it as much as me. I’m usually quite crude and kiasu, secretly amused that I beat them all. This time, I’m genuinely discontented that this happened to them. Guess I must like them that much.
We’ll see what happens in Dentistry and Ear-Nose-Throat.

Friday, December 02, 2005


List of opthalmologists (consultants/konsulen and residents/residen)...

Outlay of polyclinic...

I thought it was a drain at first. Ternyata it was a pond. KAKAKA!!

2 o'clock to 5 o'clock view from the infamous HOT-seat...

7 o'clock to 11o'clock view from the infamous HOT-seat...

12 o'clock!! 12 o'clock!!

Oh Dr Satmah...

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

cicendo eye hospital

Still ill. Wish I was home. I wouldn’t need to even use a brain-cell to think bout food. Right now I haven’t had time to medicate myself. Just tried to get extra rest (which then compromises on work hence the piling load) and suck on some Strepsils. This puzzles me, I never get sick ever. I’m like this strong FAT ox. And it’s not as if I’ve been partying hard or eating that much rubbish even. I can’t be working THAT hard ‘cos I know for sure there’s space for more diligence. Perhaps all this sitting in front of a desk filled with books gave my body such a culture shock it just ran amok.

Fingerprint punch-card. How cool is that?!

In the nick of time...

lovely lychees

Everytime I come home and we drive by a pasar malam I'd go: "Mmmy when the heck you gonna buy me my lychees?" She always says she'd remember but she never does. And when we're in some overpriced grocery store and I spot a bush o 'em just waiting to be selected and bought, she'd halt me and promise to get me really succulent and fresh ones from... yea you guessed it... pasar malam. Weeks'll go by and still no signs of juicy reds in the refridgerator. SO when I spotted a bunch of drabby lychees packed in a styrofoam plate hanging about the Bandung fruit corner, I figured I might as well have crappy ones than none at all. They were NOT sweet, NOT fresh (some were mouldy) and NOT even red but I enjoyed myself immensely. I love 'em even if they're crappy.


Tuesday, November 29, 2005

this fire is outta control. i'm gonna burn this city. burn this city.


It's raining really heavily (just awhile ago, the lightning stroke and created fire at the building beside our window... literally(!!) KAKAKA) so my group is having random discussion bout refraction. I am starting to be comfortable with the syllabus. I entered the department knowing absolutely nothing and just as I feel I'm starting to be able to get a grasp on some substance hence able to follow my group, it's the exam week liao. Right now, I'm prancing on my Dopod ‘cos my reading material is at home. I have been working quite hard but slowed down since I fell ill. My system of studying is different from my group-mates mainly because I, myself, need to be prepared before I join the conversation and they don't understand this. For them, even if they don’t know nuts, they feel they should join conversation so in the end they’d know where they lack. I'm still in the middle of getting used to them while they are trying too to get used to me. The biggest barrier is language mostly. Being sheltered in the English program have made communication (especially medical terminologies) a chore between us but I am very fortunate they have easily brought me in and embraced my idiosyncrasies. That's one thing bout non-cool crowds, they are more accommodating to strangers and of course I try to be pleasant to them too. They know a lot. They seem so santai but ternyata when questioned by our proceptor, they can narrate the answers off their minds like a robot. 1st week I felt so malu, every time my proceptor questions me, all that could come off my mouth was: "saya kurang tahu Dr". At least now I don't say it as often.

Basically I'm practicing the whole 'fake it till you make it' persona. As usual-lah lecturers think I kinda know stuff and a number of them recognize me especially my name. In a sense I enjoy the attention with hopes it's more advantageous than the contrary. But as usual they hold high hopes that I know stuff and well I don't quite.

Being an opthalmologist seems quite nice. I think it's a cool specialty.

I wish I had more knowledge. If I knew more then I'd be able to enter the dept with some form of info and be able to explore and dig out facts and by the end I’d have mastered the dept. Instead now, like I said, I WAS fumbling and JUST as I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.. Game over liao. What a waste huh?

So busy. Everyday all I do is just trying to catch up with the crowd’s intellect. No time to do anything fun. Perhaps only on Saturday night when I use the internet and Sunday morning when I go buy groceries. I SO want to watch Harry Potter: Goblet of Fire but just can’t seem to find any time. By the end of this week, we finish Opthalmology so maybe I’ll go watch it this Friday. As for the next dept, I’d have to start preparing start Saturday so the wheel of work starts turning AGAIN. Afraid that next dept I won’t be as lucky as I am this trip and will get scolding kaukau.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

when moi eats...

at J.u.s.t Thai:

at Teapot Cafe:

at Marche:

at that mamak in Paramount:

Friday, November 25, 2005

rain rain go away


F*cking crap. I came to BEC 2 buy a flashdrive ‘cos Sophiekins took my I-disk Tiny. She lost the mini MyFlash I gave her. I wanted to get the 512mb LG which was so miniscule, sleek and shiny but… 500,000rp is beyond my budget. Got the 256mb SuperDrive instead for 215,000rp. Also had to stock up on ink. Have to do a case report on Glaucoma today. Now suddenly outta nowhere the sky decided to rain cats and dogs. Damn kau crap. Real lucky my Dopod has got wifi so I can access to free hotspot net while waiting for the weather to calm down. And I picked today to wear my nice sandals... Damn.
Haven't had much time to write about things that really matter to me like Paris Fashion Week '05, my fellow intern colleagues who I have grown to love (most of them anyways), my thoughts on my 1st dept and my struggling effort to lose 5kg (or at least significant amount of weight that this Burberry pants I bought would fit me casually on the hips) by December. Speaking of which I got them on an absolute deal!! Could’ve kissed myself if I could.

Monday, November 21, 2005

these are a few of my favourite things

"When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad..."

Let’s talk about a couple of awesome sh*t I brought back with me to Indon this trip.

First up is my Paul Frank / Andy Warhol: Lips purse. Once in awhile Mr Frank would do outta-this-world collaborations with some of the finest artsy icons of the planet. My personal favourites are the ones he did with Hello Kitty (absolutely wiped out, I’ve searched everywhere to no avail), Mark Ryden (I recently managed to score one of the last few purses in London this month), Scholl and just this summer: Andy Warhol (all hail guru of pop art!!). I am so proud to own this purse. Just looking at it gets me all squishy with glee.

Next up is my pink Scurvy watch. Now, if there’s one thing I take time to buy it’d be a watch. I hate wearing watches. Haven’t worn one since the Baby-G era (only wore it ‘cos of the c’est magnifique neon performances I score when I push on the ‘Light’ button). I just find it too clashy against other wrist accessories and who needs a watch when your mobile phone has a clock+alarm? Anyways, I had to get one ‘cos we’re required to wear watches with seconds hand for pulse counting purposes etc. I scouted the entire town for a suitable watch for myself. I wanted something discreet yet funky, NON-leather (‘cos I’m allergic to it) and something that would not compromise my personality. The moment I laid eyes on the Scurvy in the P Frank website, I knew it was THE watch. Thank goodness the London outlet stocked it. I know I won’t be hitting Tokyo / San Francisco anytime soon.

My motion eye sucks.
After some HEAVY shaking...

JEM and the Hologram T-shirt… great fabric too. Reminds me of those Saturday mornings when I’d creep out of bed hoping that RTM2 would be airing Jem and the Hologram instead of The Potato-head Family. Sometimes on their good days we’d get Jem, The Carebears and My Little Pony back-to-back!! Was a lil’ up market for a cheesy tee but I feel it was an investment well made. It’s a great shade of purple with the band’s tour list at the back. Got it in Urban Outfitters. They stock the best tacky crap ever!!

Kiehl’s Lavender Foaming-Relaxing Bath with Sea Salts and Aloe Vera. I just ran myself my first bath since I moved in this morning. Divine!!

L’Occitane :Lavender Liquid Soap handwash. Lavender posseses antibacterial properties while the shea butter combination gives it a more skin-friendly disposition. I just love the smell of my fingers after a handwash. I even bought the Linen spray to squirt my curtains before I leave every morning. Mmm…
There's more. But I'm too lazy to yak.

Friday, November 18, 2005


build me up buttercup


Aiii. I think I made an irreversible mistake today. A lecturer from Japan, Dr Konyama, came to Cicendo Eye Hospital to make a speech on Community Eye Care. Since English IS my first language, I found his lecture rather fascinating and totally paid attention (his hilarious Jap accent helped). I even made notes and found 3 items in his slides that I did not get:
What does he mean by mid-level eye care personnel?
What does 'diligent / lazy' have to do with Eye Care network?
What did he mean by tertiary prevention for the disabled?
So, like… duh(!!), I demanded some clarification over those statements. After the Q&A session, a few residents made snide comments on how "pooh their English is so bad that even interns could understood the lecture and ask questions while residents just stood around gaping". I suppose they must think I made them look bad. Now they have all the reasons to target me. Firstly because I'm Malaysian (!!) and secondly I'm an intern. Perhaps I should have just kept my questions to myself. I can't help it if I enjoyed the lecture while they sat around idling and cracking jokes to each other like schoolchildren. Besides they should understand that reverse the language to Indon, I would have idled instead since I'd have trouble making sense of what's happening. I can see smug looks on seniors' faces like I totally screwed it big time and that they are totally gonna benefit from this. Damn the f*ck-lah I tell you.

Then during my evening sleep (i call it sleep 'cos it's my sleeping time), I had this dream bout SunshineP. F*ck. So now I can't stop thinking bout him. SunshineP has this capability of making me obsess over him. I guess he still sticks around in my mind 'cos I really felt that he liked me for who I already was and mostly who I wanted to become. I've never met anyone like him since. And I looked like such a geek then. I mean I still look like one but back then I really looked dorky. At least now I'm a lil bit thinner and my hair is poker-straight. I tend to fester a lot when it comes to him and the recent email fiasco brought me out of hibernation mode... To my utter disdain. I wish I didn't like him that much.

When I was somewhat liked...

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